The Truth About Pregnancy and Fatherhood
by japril85
Summary: My name is Jackson Avery. My wife and I just had a baby. The following is what they don't tell you.
1. Chapter 1

This is just something fun I had floating around in my head. It isn't at all following the current story line on Grey's Anatomy. In my world the sadness of Season 11 & 12 never happened. This is Jackson and April happily married and expecting their first child. I own none of these characters. They belong to Shonda Rhimes. I am just playing.

Enjoy! Review if you wish!

* * *

Having a pregnant wife sucks. The end.

My whole life, I knew that one day I wanted to be a father. I'd meet a nice girl, we'd fall in love, get married, and then when we were ready...when we had nothing else going on and timing was absolutely perfect...we'd start a family.

So that is what I did. That is how life played out. Sort of.

Med school, internships, residency, and finally a career I'd worked hard for. Attending Plastic Surgeon and ENT. I met the girl I always planned on meeting. No, she wasn't who I had in mind, but she was perfect. She's a kick ass Trauma Surgeon and to see her in action is to see something remarkable. I'm not biased. We fell in love, married, and then decided that what the hell...let's start a family.

Now you hear stories about it taking months to conceive. Months of careless sex in hopes of creating that miracle you so long for. Yeah, that isn't how it worked. April got pregnant the first day I looked at her after she'd stopped taking birth control. The first day. I promise you. Pills hit the trash can and the next day she is telling me she's pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been looking forward to all the sex.

You hear about the pregnancy glow. Women at their best while growing new life. Not here. Oh no. The first ten weeks of her pregnancy, I was greeted by the sound of April retching in the bathroom every morning. In the beginning, you rush to her side. Offer to hold her hair back, offer to get some crackers and ginger ale, offer to do whatever she might possibly need because it's the least you can do, right?

Wrong.

After a few weeks of this morning ritual, she's sick of it and she's sick of you. You did this to her and while she's too nice to say so, she's thinking it. My advice to anyone nearing this stage, just quietly get up and get your shower in another bathroom. Don't dare complain about any morning aches and pains. Smile. Be pleasant and agreeable. Your life is wonderful compared to hers.

You will get beyond that stage and she really does start feeling better. You can see the glow they speak of. April had more energy, she was excited about the pregnancy rather than stuck on daily sickness. She started planning. She started shopping. Your credit card bills start rolling in and you start scouring the ER for surgeries to pay for all of this, but your wife is happy so everyone is happy.

When you get home from work, you will find various projects around the house. Painting. Assembling baby furniture and gadgets that may as well have instructions in a foreign language. Endless questions on what do you think about this color or that outfit or those nursery decorations. Smile and nod. She already has a preference and you really need to pick your battles.

It isn't all bad. There are fun things to decide also. Like if you should find out if baby is a boy or girl. We didn't find out, by the way. What you should name the baby. I'll tell you now, this can be some hairy conversation and it's never good to continuously suggest your Mother's name even if you do happen to think it's a nice, classy name for a daughter. On that same note, never make fun of her when she suggests naming a son after her Father. Even if his name is Joe.

Joe Avery?

No way.

Next comes the baby showers. Women love planning those. People just gather together to give you baby stuff. You'll never see so many tiny shirts, pants, gowns, bibs, hats, etc. in your life. She's going to want to wash all of it, everything has a certain place in the nursery, just do as she tells you to do with these things.

All of the above is how I found myself here. Lying on six inches of bed and swearing I must have wandered to the Arctic during my sleep. Word of advice, don't get your wife pregnant when she is due in the dead of summer. Trust me. We are currently experiencing a record breaking summer here in Seattle and wouldn't you know, this is the summer we are also experiencing pregnancy in the Avery household. I don't touch the thermostat. Flakes of snow could be blowing out of the vents and that is perfectly fine, whatever my Queen wants.

"Jackson..." I heard. I swear sometimes she can read my mind.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Can you push the pillow behind my back under me a little more?" That is another thing I forgot to mention. Pillows. We have what seems like hundreds of them on our bed. Small ones, medium sized ones, some as long as April is tall. All of them serve their own specific purpose and must not be moved from exactly where she wants them.

I push the pillow a couple of inches under her back and that seems to do the job. "Better?"

"I'm sick of being pregnant," she sighed. "Is that awful to say? I know I should be thankful we are both healthy, and I truly am, but it sucks." My wife was not one that did well with idle time. She was like a machine, hence her nickname another surgeon had given her, at work. She could clear an ER quicker than anyone I knew. _Taking it easy_ , as our OB had put it, had not been easy on my girl.

"It does, baby," I agreed. Truth be told, I was sick of waiting on the little guy or girl and I wasn't even the one with another human inhabiting my body. "It does." I scooted over behind her and rested my hand on her growing belly. "Just think, though, any day now..."

The sound of her laugh warmed my heart. "That is what everyone keeps saying, but I think this little one and I will be together like this forever." I was beginning to think the same. We were 39 weeks and counting. I know 40 is the magic number, but after you have waited this long and your wife is this uncomfortable, you don't feel so greedy wanting the little one to maybe arrive a couple days early. Is that really too much to ask?

"Maybe we shouldn't have packed our bags or put the car seat in the car," I joked. "Maybe we should have just pretended to be completely unprepared."

"He'd know," April replied. "He would so know we were trying to trick him."

"You still think it's a boy?" I didn't know what to think as far as the gender of this kid went. Some days I just knew it was a boy, other days I thought it was probably a girl. April, though? She had been convinced it was a boy from day one. I guess we would see. Maybe...

"I do," she replied. "Just a feeling I have."

"Still no name, though."

"You don't like Joseph after my Dad!" No, I didn't. Wasn't happening. Not naming this boy, if it was a boy, after my Father-in-law. "Baby Boy Avery will just have to work. Will they even let us take him home without a name?"

"Oh we're taking him home," I replied. We were bringing this kid home. Name or no name. I knew we'd figure it out. I knew that most likely Joseph would be somewhere in the name. I knew that when it came down to it I would do anything to see her smile. This woman meant more to me than anything on earth and I lived for her happiness. This whole pregnancy thing had been an adventure, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't imagine going through life with anyone but April.

"Can you turn the thermostat down a bit? I'm burning up."

"Yep," I said, getting out of bed and stopping to grab a long sleeve shirt and pair of socks on my way to the thermostat.

Don't let me fool you. I really do love it. I love her and I love the life we are creating together. This little one could hurry up and come out, though. I'm down to one pillow for myself and running out of winter clothes to wear around the apartment. Pregnancy isn't for the weak, I'll just tell you that right now.

"Hey, Jackson..."


	2. Chapter 2

Today is our due date. Now, for those of you unfamiliar with this whole thing, due dates mean absolutely nothing to babies. Not one thing. I'd given up on the baby coming even a few days early, but I thought surely we'd reach a compromise and he or she would show on their due date. I thought I had been convincing in my requests, but apparently not.

"Babe," I called into our room. "We're going to be late. We need to get a move on!" We had our final OB visit today. One that we had been told last week we may or may not make it to. Well...we were making it. Only today, I hoped we were going to discuss Baby Avery's eviction day.

"Jackson, I'm coming," April huffed. "I can't move as quickly as you can, ok?" It was true. She had absolutely fallen victim to the pregnancy waddle the past few weeks. Her feet were swollen. Her back and hips hurt. Her mood was a reflection of how she felt, but she has never looked more beautiful. I know it sounds like something a husband should say, but its true. Gorgeous. The female body was an amazing thing.

"I know, sweetheart." I wrapped her in a hug, giving her a quick kiss.

"Did you start the car?" She asked. "It's burning up outside. I need the air conditioner going to cool it off."

"Yes, dear..." I replied. Of course I had started the car. Cooled it off. Gotten her seat just as she liked it. I was rocking this whole pregnancy thing. I should write a book for the other clueless husbands out there. Share what I had learned. "As soon as we are done at Dr. Lawrence's I need to stop by and check on a patient." Summer and kids. It kept me in business, that is for sure.

April sighed. "Jackson, if we stop by they are just going to hound me with questions about when this baby is going to show." Really? _That's_ what she was worried about. This kid was obviously planning on taking up permanent residence in there and she was worried about a few questions.

"I promise I will field any and all questions, ok?" I opened the door as she waddled past me out into the hallway without replying. Public relations for pregnant wife. I suppose I could add that to my growing lists of tasks.

* * *

" Blood pressure is 138/72," the nurse informed us.

"Is that ok?" I asked. I was a doctor, yes, but I knew next to nothing about pregnancy. Sure, I'd done what I had to do during rotations, but that is as close to OB as I wanted to go. You'd never catch me in the pink scrubs. No way.

"Systolic is a little elevated," she replied. "However, being 40 weeks pregnant in the heat will probably be reason enough for Dr. Lawrence not to worry."

"Jackson, stop worrying," April laughed. That was one thing I could promise would never happen. I'd worry every single day for the rest of my life. About her. About our children. Hey, it was my job to worry. She would just have to deal with that.

"Everything off from the waist down," the nurse instructed April. "You know the drill by now, dear."

We all knew the drill by now. Help her undress so she wouldn't topple over, then help her up onto the exam table and cover her with the flimsy paper sheet. Who did they think they were kidding with that thing? You could see straight through it and one wrong move ripped it right in two.

As usual, April's phone started ringing. Pulling it out of her purse, I saw it was her Mom. Right on cue. "It's your Mom. Do you want me to answer? Let it go to voicemail? Throw your phone out the window over there?"

April quietly laughed. "Just talk to her. Please?" she replied, looking at me sweetly. She was lucky I was a sucker for those eyes. Real lucky. This was Karen Kepner we were talking about. "Tell her we will call her back as soon as we know something."

"Karen!" I greeted. This woman and I didn't always see eye to eye, but she was the Mother of my lovely wife so I tried to make the effort. Also, I must admit that my Mom could be a little intense, so I didn't really have any room to talk when it came to exchanging Mom stories.

"Jackson?!" She yelled into the phone as if I had a hearing problem. "Jackson, honey, it's Karen." Always with the introduction. "Do we have a report yet from the doctor visit?"

"We're here now," I explained as politely as possible. "We don't know anything. I promise you'll be the first to know when we find out."

"Well I have been on the phone with Catherine." You have got to be kidding me. They were conspiring now? This was no good. "I've been on the phone with Catherine and she hadn't heard anything either! We decided I would call first and then she would call if I didn't find anything out."

"Won't be necessary," I said. "I promise we will let you both know what the plan is once we know. We have to find out first." April was shaking her head in frustration. I loved her, but she wasn't the one that had been dealing with calls from our Mothers. Long about the 38th week and the 12th call, she had refused to speak to either of them if the question was about when this kid was going to show. Along with all the other husband duties I had taken on, I was now screening calls to keep Karen Kepner and Catherine Webber at bay. Not a job for the faint of heart.

"I am going to let you go now," I told her as I saw Dr. Lawrence enter the room. "We will call you as soon as we know something. Tell my Mom the same." Those women. Impossible. If April thought she was going to harass our children like that when they were grown she had another thing coming.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Lawrence asked April.

"Huge. Tired. 100 months pregnant," she repled. It really had been that long, I was certain. 100 months. At least.

Dr. Lawrence laughed. Always kind, that one. I am not sure I could find it in me to be on the receiving end of crabby pregnant women all day and not take it personally. Again, OB? Not for me. "Well let's see how this little one is doing in there. It seems like we're doing well considering we don't want to come out. Any contractions?"

"A few here and there," April replied. "Braxton Hicks. Maybe a twinge of something more, but nothing that has made me think this was it." I helped April lie back as Dr. Lawrence grabbed the dopplar so we could hear the baby's heartbeat.

The sound of our baby's heartbeat filled the room. Sure, it sounded like a horse galloping, but it was my favorite part. "152," Dr. Lawrence announced. "Sounds very happy in there. You didn't have any protein in your urine, your blood pressure looked fine all things considering, so we'll see if your cervix is dilated at all and then discuss where to go from here."

 _Please say it's eviction time_ , I thought. Holding April's hand, we waited for Dr. Lawrence to complete her exam. There was no way I could have ever been a woman. The stuff they go through. No way. I am sure this wouldn't be the last time I would come to that conclusion, but since these cervical checks had started at 36 weeks I had been as sure as ever.

"You're 1 centimeter dilated, about 70 percent effaced, and minus 3 station," Dr. Lawrence informed us. "Your body is definitely trying to get ready for labor, but you aren't quite there yet. Since you are 40 weeks I will be more than happy to send you over to Labor & Delivery, give you some Pitocin, and get the process going. Or we can wait until next week, if you are still pregnant, and agree to induce at 41 weeks. That is completely up to you, April."

She looked at me as if there was a decision to be made. _Let's just get this going_ , I screamed. To myself, of course. Not to her. I would never tell her that, I wasn't the one going to be poked and prodded, but damn I really wanted to meet this kid. "I don't know," April said. "I've always been scared of induction. I mean there is a reason babies come in their own time..."

Dr. Lawrence nodded. "I am perfectly comfortable with you going until 41 weeks. I'm sending you for an ultrasound with a Biophysical Profile after this anyway, so we'll know if there is any reason to rush him or her. I don't foresee any problems though."

 _This is not going how I want it to go._ "I think we'll wait," April decided. _The hell? I love her. I do. But damn I thought I was going to get a reprieve from sleeping in subzero temperatures._ "What do you think?" Why did she have to look at me with those eyes? How could I tell her I thought she was out of her mind when she looked at me that way?

"Whatever you feel most comfortable with," I smiled. _Really, dude? Here was your opportunity._

"Ok!" Dr. Lawrence said, getting up from her stool. "I'll let you get dressed. Go to the ultrasound room and we'll take a look, get that BPP done, and get you on your way. Unless I see you back here before then, we'll set up induction for a week from today. Be at the hospital at 5AM that morning. You'll just check in at Labor & Delivery."

 _One more week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes._

* * *

"How is one tiny person going to wear all of this stuff?" Seriously. I wanted to know. We were sitting in the middle of the nursery floor with piles of baby clothes all around us. I had made the mistake of letting the nurses know my plans before checking in on a few post op patients. That gave them time to rally and alert other units of my impending visit. I had entered Grey Sloan with just myself, and left with more packages than I could carry to the car. This is what you get when you marry a doctor that is genuinely nice to everyone. Thankfully, Richard was gracious enough to assist me. After all, he was technically this child's Step Grandfather so I figured he could put in some manual labor.

April folded a tiny pair of pants and placed them into one of the many baskets full of clothes. "We'll go through more of these than you think." I really hoped not. I was pretty sure neither of us owned as many clothes as we had in here for this kid.

I sat and watched April fold each item with such care. She had organized this nursery about as well as she would triage a disaster zone. Everything in here had a specific place and purpose and it made complete sense. She'd also know if one thing wasn't where it was supposed to be. Still, focused as she was on the task at hand, I could tell she was being quieter than usual. "You ok?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah," she replied. "I guess I am just a little nervous. I mean we're about to have a BABY, Jackson." This was true. No turning back now. "And I have no idea what I am doing!"

"And you think I do!" I laughed. I had accomplished everything I had set out to do so far in my life. I'd faced countless situations that seemed hopeless. I'd operated on children and held their very lives in my hand. I had felt fear, I had felt nerves, but I wasn't sure I'd ever felt a feeling quite like the one I had when I thought about bringing our son or daughter home for the first time. They were just going to allow us to walk out of the hospital with this tiny life. No instruction manual for us, no checkoff we had to pass before we left, nada. The only calming factor in this for me was knowing April was my partner in whatever was to come. I had no doubts about her ability as a Mother.

"You are going to be the best Mom," I told her. I knew this for fact. No, we didn't have a huge history of experience when it came to babies, but I knew it would come naturally to her. I had doubts about my own ability to parent, but I had never once had a single doubt about April. I scooted over to wrap her in my arms, "Don't worry about that, ok? Promise? You are going to be the best Mom to our little boy or girl. I picked you and I only pick the best."

She laughed as she playfully hit my arm. "Shut up. I picked you!"

"Oh you did, huh?" I was pretty certain the universe shoved us toward one another, knowing there was no one else on earth that could put up with either of us the way we did each other. "You ready for bed?" I asked her. We were starting to turn in earlier and earlier, foolishly believing we could bank sleep or something. Hey, any excuse to be in bed before 11pm. "I have one case in the morning and then I'm yours for the rest of the day." I told her, standing up and extending my arm to help her from her sitting position on the nursery floor. "We can grab an early dinner, hang out on the couch, watch a movie..." I was taking full advantage of this lighter surgical load I had been given in preparation for Labor Watch 2016.

It happened as quick as you'd imagine. About the time I pulled April upright, I heard what sounded like water hitting the floor. Looking down I saw that was exactly what it was. April's water had broke. Right then. Where we stood. In the nursery.

"Or maybe I don't have that case in the morning..."


	3. Chapter 3

I had this image of what things were supposed to be like when it was time. You know, the stuff you see on the movies. The wife's water breaks, pains immediately hit, the husband is running around the room like something gone mad before rushing out the door and realizing once in the car that he has forgotten his wife. The whole scene was something a guy could only assume was a correct portrayal of first time parents springing into action.

Didn't exactly go that way.

Once I finally convinced April that yes, her water did indeed break, she decided she had to get a shower and shave her legs. Now mind you, she had just shaved that morning before our doctor's appointment, but that wasn't a battle I was willing to fight. I had a pretty good feeling the baby wouldn't fall out if we didn't rush right to the hospital, and even if it did, hey...at least her legs would be smooth when the paramedics arrived.

I did what any good husband would do. I helped her in the shower, making sure we got everything accomplished, and made it out the door before she gave birth in the middle of our apartment. The ride to the hospital was uneventful. She had a few twinges of discomfort, her words not mine, on the way but nothing that prompted me to put the pedal to the floor. All in all it was pretty dull. No insanely high speeds, no cops following behind me as I raced to the hospital, nothing. Here I had been prepping for a dramatic journey and there my wife sat in the passenger seat chatting with her Mom on the phone.

Oh yes, Karen was on the way.

So all of the above is how we ended up here in the lovely birthing center of Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. A unit full of various shades of pink, flowers and balloons, really happy nurses, and screaming babies. You could hear those little jokers everywhere. Not sure what the problem was, but the general consensus among them was that it wasn't good and they were very vocal about it.

As soon as we checked in, April's doctor was at the bedside to confirm her water had indeed broke _as if there had been any question_ and that since April didn't seem to be getting into her own labor pattern, the next logical step was to induce that pattern. Sounded easy enough! An overly happy nurse came in, started her IV, and hooked her up to the medication that would get things going.

And things did go easy enough. For a while.

I'm not really sure what kind of amped up bag of Pitocin they gave her, but I went from having a happy wife that was very chatty as we walked in the hallway to try and help things along, to one that was getting gradually quieter as things got more intense. Long gone was the ability to get a laugh or smile out of her. I cut the jokes off a while back. Figured that was NOT what she wanted to hear during the peak of a contraction.

We were still walking, her doctor had recommended that, but as the contractions got closer together and the pain more intense we were beginning to slow down. This one seemed particularly bad and I heard April whimper as she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. "You're doing so good, baby," I told her, rubbing her lower back. I could feel her fingers gripping my shirt and knew this was crossing over to the serious side. This is what they called labor. I got it now, thanks.

Once that contraction subsided we slowly started making our way back to our room. And I do mean slowly. I was used to seeing my wife zipping all around the hospital, even heavily pregnant, so this was a new one for me. "Is someone getting my Mom?" She asked. Now normally I would crack some joke about her asking for her Mom, but I knew we were well beyond that. "Mom or Richard said they would pick her up from the airport. I'm not leaving you." There was no way. Karen could hoof it here for all I cared, of course I would have never told April that, but I wasn't leaving this place without wife and baby in tow.

As we passed the nurse's station I saw it was almost 5AM. After midnight. That was the first time I had actually looked at a clock since we arrived hours before. I was going to be a Dad today.

I WAS GOING TO BE A DAD TODAY.

* * *

There is a cliche you often here when it comes to men and childbirth. When witnessing their wives going through the whole process, you will hear guys say they wish they could take the pain from them. I always thought _well sure, I bet_ but never thought you actually felt that way. It was just something you said, right? A united front.

No.

It was 100% legit.

April is tough as nails. That is a well known fact. She's been knocked down, but she gets right back up. She might suffer, but you'd never know it. This, though? This thing that was supposed to be wonderful and miraculous...it was kicking her ass and mine. Now don't get me wrong, she was making it through hours of labor like a champ, but it wasn't easy. She had long ago decided she didn't want any pain medication during labor. Personally, I would have taken any and everything they offered me, but it was her decision and I supported it. She made me promise I wouldn't give in to the worst moments and try and get her to take medication or get an epidural. I was struggling.

She had been in labor well over 12 hours and was finally dilated to 8cm. I've said it before and I will say it again, this baby was perfectly happy where he or she had been for the past 40 weeks. It was resisting eviction at all costs. The fact that we had been awake all night was not helping at all. Thankfully, and I completely eat every word I have ever said about either of them, our Moms had been with us and were actually very helpful.

Miracles still happened, folks.

Had it not been for her Mother assuring me this was all very normal, and my Mom telling me I had to be strong for her, I would have probably already flown around the room. Yes, I was a doctor but all my medical training and rational thinking had gone out the window a long time ago. My wife was in pain and I wanted to stop it. Simple as. It was difficult for me to sit by unable to do anything for her and tell myself this was all part of a wonderful process. I'm just not wired that way.

Throughout the entire pregnancy April and I had said it would just be the two of us present for the delivery. We _might_ allow our family in to see the baby before we went home from the hospital. Now? If my Mom or Karen thought they were leaving they had another thing coming. They were seeing this thing through. The Labor Coach needed a Coach. We were all in it now. No quitters.

"You're doing such a good job, sweetheart," Karen soothed. She wiped April's forehead with a cool cloth as I let her squeeze the feeling out of my hand. Would I still be able to operate after this? Verdict was still out, but oh well. "It's almost over and you're going to have that precious little baby in your arms." Her Mom was convincing, I'll give her that.

"I can't," April cried. "I'm so tired."

"I know you are, baby," I told her. I could not imagine. I would have thrown in the towel hours ago. Roll me to the OR. Knock me out. Cut the kid out of me. Wake me up when it's over. Simple delivery. Not April, though. "You're doing it. You've got this."

My Mom had assigned herself to updating everyone and keeping any visitors at bay. We were well passed the point of welcoming spectators. Which was right up her alley. Anytime she could boss people around and feel like she was an authority on something - best day ever for her. She was also making sure April stayed hydrated. I was waiting for the cup of ice chips to go flying across the room when Mom insisted she take a spoonful, but so far...no casualties.

April's Dad, who had since arrived, had been pacing back and forth in the hallway. Literally pacing. For hours. Richard had tried to get him to go chill in the waiting room, but still he paced. I knew now more than ever why men sat in the waiting room smoking cigars back in the day. Not a bad idea at all if I'm being honest. Seeing April in pain was stressing me out to the point I would have absolutely gone out there and chain-smoked had it been an option. My Grandfather had also gotten word the newest Avery was on the way and last I heard he was making plans to come out for a visit...probably to offer him or her a job at MassGen. Hey, if you can't get one generation on board, try the next!

When I thought about the cast of characters waiting for this kid, it was no wonder he or she was hanging on in there for dear life.

* * *

As with every other stage of this process, I was under the impression that once pushing started babies simply flew out. And I still believe that some do, I'd personally witnessed it during my run ins with OB, but not this little one. Which, I should have known, as much as he or she had been resisting the whole time. No interest at all in coming out and meeting us. I was trying not to take it personally.

April had been pushing for 2 hours, and she was making great progress, but she was exhausted. Everyone kept saying this was very normal for a first time Mom, two steps forward and one step back they said, but I didn't feel like a single part of this was normal. There was a reason we had made medical advances such as epidurals and virtually pain free deliveries. It just seemed like women were moving further and further away from that. My wife being one of them.

"Ok, April," Dr. Lawrence instructed. "Deep breath and push down in your bottom. You're getting so close, baby is right there." I really hoped so. I was holding one leg and supporting her neck as she leaned up to push. I would never complain, but my back was screaming at me after two hours of this. Karen was holding the other leg and the cup of ice chips April would request every so often. My Mom was behind me, away from any areas she didn't need to see, with the camera to take pictures. We all had our assignments.

"Excellent, April," Dr. Lawrence praised. "Jackson, you want to look? You can see your baby's head!" Not to compare the birth of my child or my wife's anatomy to something horrific, but it was like trying to pass by a train wreck without looking. You knew you probably shouldn't, but you had to. Looking down where Dr. Lawrence stood, I could see the very top of his or her head. Even the tiny bit of dark hair I could see left me speechless. There was an actual human being coming out of my wife. One we had talked about and planned for all this time. It was actually happening. Holy shit.

"On the next contraction I want you to give it all you've got and don't back off," our doctor explained. "Baby should crown up with the next push and it's going to burn. Just push through that burn. You are doing so great, April!" I could not believe this was actually happening. All day it had seemed so abstract still, well to me at least, and the fact that this baby was almost out was blowing my mind. We were about to be parents.

"It's almost over, sweet girl," Karen crooned. She really had been helpful today. I had to admit this. My Mom was silent behind me. I could feel her presence there, but she was speechless. One aspect of the miracle of this birth was the fact that it left my Mom speechless. Catherine Webber was NEVER speechless. I'd have to tell Richard later. Hell, I'd have to tell anyone that knew her.

I leaned down and rested my forehead against April's. "You are so amazing," I whispered. I could see the tears spilling from her eyes. She was so exhausted and overwhelmed but she had done amazing. "You're so close, baby. You can do this." She shook her head no at me as she continued to cry. I wiped her eyes with a cool cloth and placed a kiss on her head. "Yes you can. You're about to be a Mommy."

"April, sweetheart, it's done! You've done it! A couple more pushes!" There was Mom. I knew she'd pipe up back there eventually.

I could instantly tell by the way April tensed that another contraction was beginning. I helped her lean up as she started pushing what I hoped would be one of the final times. "Good job, baby..."

"Wonderful, April," Dr. Lawrence encouraged. "Take a quick breath and then back down here hard as you can!" I looked down and saw more and more of the baby's head emerge. I had seen birth before, but this was something completely different.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." April cried out.

"Push through it, April." Dr. Lawrence instructed. "You've got it. Stay on it, there you go..." Looking down again I watched as our baby's head delivered completely. I felt like I was going to freak out at any second. "Head's out. Just breathe while I suction baby's mouth and nose out, April. You are doing fabulous!"

One of the delivery nurses stepped around Karen to undo April's gown so the baby could be placed directly on her chest. This was really happening. This baby was coming out. I leaned over onto the bed and wrapped one arm around April as she leaned up to give the final push. The second April collapsed back into my arm we heard a tiny piercing cry. "Welcome to the world, little one!" Dr. Lawrence greeted before placing the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life on April's chest.

I could not tell you one thing that was going on in the world in that moment. I had no idea where my Mom was. No idea what April's Mom was doing. No idea what anyone in that room was doing or saying. The only thing I could focus on was the tiny little life in my wife's arms, protesting his or her entry into the world loudly. Lungs definitely worked.

April was sobbing as she held our tiny boy or girl on her chest. I watched as the nurse covered him or her with a warm blanket and got vital signs. If the screaming was any indication, we were doing just fine. What they say is true. You don't care how slimy and gross that baby is, you don't think anything about it, and it is the most beautiful thing you have ever laid eyes on. I felt tears streaming down my face and didn't care. So I cried at the birth of my child. Guilty as charged.

"You did it, baby," I said, kissing April as the baby continued to scream. I leaned down to place a kiss on his or her head. In a word, I was smitten. There was life before this moment and there was life now. I knew it would never be the same again. I could stare at this little miracle all day every day and I knew I'd never grow tired of it.

April lifted the blanket and looked underneath to check the baby out from head to toe. The biggest smile spread across her face as more tears started flowing. "Jackson, it's a girl!"

A girl.

I had a daughter.

I lifted the blanket to see for myself, confirming what April had found seconds before. I couldn't help but laugh as tears continued to flow.

A girl.

What...in...the...hell...was I going to do with a little girl?

Watch out boys of Seattle in a decade or so, your ass is mine if you come near this angel. I'll do time. Not a problem. You've been warned.

"Hey beautiful," I said softly, kissing my little girl and getting a good look at her. "Hey beautiful girl! Daddy loves you so much." We had been so convinced we were having a boy. I don't think either of us entertained the idea that a girl might have been in there all along.

I watched as she finally quietened down and tried to open her little eyes. She had been here for about 5 minutes and I was in complete awe of everything about her. Eyes, nose, lips, ears...how could anything be this perfect? I sounded like one of _those_ parents, I know, but I didn't even care. She was the most beautiful baby that had ever graced the planet. Hands down.

"Tell Daddy you can play sports too. You can play basketball with him, huh?" April said to her. It was true. I had bought all kinds of stuff that I knew I'd get to show our boy. I'd gotten him his first jersey, first basketball, etc. I was ready.

This girl had flipped my world completely upside down. No way was my princess going to do anything except what she wanted to do. If basketball was the worst activity on earth to her, there would never be another basketball in our house. Whatever she wanted. I leaned in to kiss her tiny head again. "I can learn about dolls and tea parties. You may have to help me."

April smiled before leaning in for a kiss, "I can do that."

I could do it. I could be Dad to a girl. The clothes, shoes, dolls, tea parties, princesses, drama _cause I know they all have drama, even the tiny ones_...all the freaking pink I knew was coming. I wanted it all.

See, that is the thing about Kepner girls, and she was without a doubt half Kepner, you never saw them coming...but they were everything you never knew you wanted.

* * *

More with Baby Girl Avery to come! :-)


	4. Chapter 4

I thought I'd better change my title a bit since I decided to write about life with Baby Avery. Wasn't the original plan, but I consider it "free therapy" from what we've had to endure these past couple seasons on the show. Thank you for all the sweet reviews. It means a lot to know you enjoy it. :)

* * *

It had been two days since we welcomed our baby girl. She was wonderful. Everything about her was perfect. All 7, pounds 1, ounce and 19 inches of her was perfect. She was the sweetest, most beautiful baby on the face of the earth. That's not a biased opinion, it's simply fact. Anyway, I digress...

Let me start by telling you a few things you may not know. Once the whole marathon of labor and birth is over, you will probably be looking forward to a long nap, right? You will be, trust me. It doesn't happen. You'll catch a quick nap here and there, but that is about it. I felt like I was back in the days of my internship where you caught naps whenever and wherever you could. Someone was always coming to our room for something. I wanted to put a sign on the door telling people to get lost, but I married THE nicest person in all of Seattle.

Speaking of my better half, that brings us to the next crucial bit of information. Pregnancy hormones are the weaker, less fortunate cousins of New Mom hormones. I honestly could not tell you who cried more these past two days. April or the baby. You name it, April cried. We would get a delivery of flowers, she cried. A gift would arrive, she cried. She'd see a commercial on TV, she cried. The baby cried, she cried. I had spent the past two days in a sea of hormones, doing the best I could to comfort my girls and most times having no idea what they were crying about.

Do not waste your time reading all the books. You may as well go try to decipher the Rosetta Stone without any reference at all. Real life is nothing like they tell you. One of the biggest misconceptions is that breastfeeding is easy. I mean, I thought it was. Just stick the baby up there, no problem! Not exactly. You start out with a false sense of security. The baby did catch on quickly, April was becoming more comfortable with every feed, things were great. Then...not so much.

This particular incident will no doubt go down as one of the most notable meltdowns in our marriage. It would be something that we'd still be discussing when we were old and gray. Or I would, don't know about her. I'll make it short and sweet, babies sense stress. If their Mom is upset, they get upset. It was about 1AM on our first full night alone with her in the hospital when April couldn't get her to latch properly. The baby was hungry, April was exhausted and stressed, and I know nothing about breastfeeding. NOTHING. We were a sight to behold.

It ended with a frantic call to Karen, who was sound asleep at a nearby hotel, demanding she come back quickly and an emergency call to the hospital's Lactation Consultant. April was in tears, the baby was screaming, I was pacing around the room wanting badly to say, "LET'S JUST GIVE HER A BOTTLE!" I didn't. I am a supportive husband. It took both of them to convince April she wasn't starving our baby and that this was all very normal. They tell you that a lot around here, that things are normal, I am not completely sure I buy that.

You'll also be thankful for all those clothes your wife insisted on buying once the kid arrives. April had packed what must have been twenty sleepers, onesies, and baby gowns _I'm getting better at identifying baby junk_ and I swear we had used every single one of them. She couldn't go an hour without spitting up or exploding out of her diaper. At this rate, she'd go through everything we owned for her before the end of the week.

I now know why these nurses around here are so happy. They hire them to be. These poor souls are in rooms at all hours of the day and night helping brand new parents clean up one mess after another. I would have already thrown in the towel, but they somehow keep the faith. I was pretty certain they were going to be glad to see us hit the road. I was even more certain they were sitting around hoping against hope they never needed a trauma or plastic surgeon. I mean if we were this clueless about newborns, then how were we operating on people? Makes no sense, I know. April was less inclined to believe we were driving them crazy, but I was convinced. We'd have to send them food or something once we left.

After everything I just explained, they were still letting us take this baby home. No instruction manual, no follow up home visit to make sure we were still making it, they were kicking us out the door in the morning. I kept being told a two night stay is standard, but for what we were paying, a couple weeks here would have made me happier. You know, just to give us enough time to get back on our feet.

I was still thankful for our Mothers. I know I have said a lot, but we wouldn't have made it without them. They were kind of back to crazy town, what with this being my Mom's first and only grandchild and Karen's only granddaughter, but you take the good with the bad.

I was busy trying to pack our bags so we wouldn't be scrambling around the next morning before we were discharged. I swear we had come with two bags. One that had mine and April's things in it, and one for the baby. We were leaving here with so much crap. I'd probably have to make an extra trip to get it home. I don't even know where it all came from.

"I'm going to call a couple of interns later," I said. "Get them to help me carry all this stuff down to the car." I mean, they might as well be useful for something. I was off for a couple weeks, but I still knew they'd come running if an Attending summoned them. Didn't matter if they were currently on my service or not.

"Jackson," April laughed. She was busy feeding...again. That is all this baby wanted to do. Eat. I don't know if she was making up for lost time, or what, but at this rate she was going to be bursting out of her newborn sized clothes in a matter of days. This also made April her favorite person and she really only tolerated the rest of us. That includes me. I really try not to take it personally.

"Can you hand me the wipes and a diaper?" We had gone through about 500 of those in the past couple days also. Never think "Well that's boring." if your wife tells you some co-workers are throwing her a diaper shower. It will come in handy. Trust me.

"I'll change her," I said with maybe a little too much excitement. Did I like being elbow deep in baby poop? No. But I did like time with my girl, so it was a small price to pay. The second April unlatched her from the breast, the drama started. "Hey you," I said, taking her from April. "Hey princess..." I lifted her up to kiss her little cheeks as she continued to protest her separation from her favorite person on earth. "Daddy's not so bad! You are going to give me a complex!"

I'd heard from several friends of mine who had children that they are born with a personality. You might not think a two day old baby could have a personality, but trust me, this one did. She had a temper and was not afraid to let you know about it. I would blame it on April and I technically already had, but let's face it, the Avery family isn't known for being cool and collected. She had been hit from both sides.

I laid her in the hospital crib as she continued to voice her opinion on the matter. I could do this, I told myself. Same as last time. I unfastened the tabs on either side of the diaper before pulling it back to see what awaited me this time. "Oh wow...just...wow." This was the biggest one yet. I wasn't sure we even had enough wipes to tackle it. I worked as quickly as I could to clean her up the way the nurse had taught me. "I'm going as fast as I can here, princess." She was not pleased. Before I could get the clean diaper on her, she started peeing everywhere. "Oh geez, April...babe...she's going everywhere. It's literally everywhere."

"Just get the diaper on her!"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Honestly? The blind leading the blind here, people.

April slowly got out of bed and made her way over to us. She was still sore from delivery and not moving too quickly. She took some wipes and started helping me clean the mess as best she could. "Here, hold her while I get this out of the way."

I cradled a very angry, naked baby in my arms while April removed the dirty blanket from the crib and replaced it with a clean one. I was pretty certain this kid thought we were both idiots and truth be told, I couldn't blame her. "Shhh, it's ok. It's ok, sweet girl." She wasn't having any of it, but I still tried to make amends. "Look how red she's getting!" She...was...pissed.

April laughed, leaning in to give her a kiss. "She's so mad right now."

Just then I felt it. Something warm and wet on my arm. I didn't even have to look, April's laugh and immediate reach for a wipe confirmed it. I had officially been pooped on. "You are treating Daddy bad," I told her. "So bad." She was lucky she was cute as hell.

April took her from me to get her diapered and so I could clean up. "Tell Daddy you're very sorry and you love him so much." Yeah, that was just about all it took. I was smitten. So what if she crapped on me. Her crap was as adorable as she was. I still didn't know how something that tiny could make such a huge mess, but I loved every second of it.

We finished getting her cleaned up and in yet another outfit. I held her while April got back in bed and then I climbed in next to her. The couple minutes of getting to hold her ended when I noticed she was rooting around looking for food. "Ok, off to Mommy you go..."

I wrapped my arm around April as she got her latched back on and she started feeding as if she hadn't eaten in a week. It was amazing that something so tiny came out knowing exactly what to do. "She's amazing," I whispered in complete awe.

"I know," April replied. "How did we make her?"

I laughed quietly, "Well..." I thought we agreed she "happened" when April joined me on a trip to a medical conference in Boston. She was the souvenir we brought home.

I received the look. All husbands know the look. "Jackson," April laughed. "You know what I mean..."

"I know exactly what you mean." She was the single most perfect thing I had ever done in my life. Nothing I had done before or would do after would even come close. I watched in silence as she continued to feed, amazed by her...amazed by April's natural ability to Mother flawlessly. It was overwhelming to say the least.

"Ayla..." I said, leaning down to kiss her tiny head.

"Really?!" April asked, starting to cry. _Name the baby, she cried. I'd add it to my list._

"She's an Ayla," I confirmed. I had been resistant to the name when April suggested it months ago. She had discovered it in a book she once read and had placed it on her short list of future baby names _women actually do that, I learn something new everyday._ When presented with the name, I wasn't immediately on board. For one, this kid was going to be a boy. No doubt about it. Second, I thought we'd probably decide on a name that was after someone we knew. Third, I didn't know how a name beginning with A would go with our last name. April had informed me that she was technically April Avery and it sounded just fine. I couldn't argue that, so I allowed Ayla to grow on me.

"You have a name, sweet girl," April said to her. She never slowed down feeding, obviously not as interested in being named as we were in finally having a name for her. "How about Charlotte for her middle name? That was one we agreed on before. Or, I mean, you can pick it since Ayla was my idea...whatever you want will be perfect."

She was really sticking her neck out on this one. I had half a mind to mess with her and suggest some horrible name, but we were having a moment here so I thought better of it. "Ayla Charlotte Avery. I think that's it."

"Yeah?" April smiled.

"Yeah," I confirmed. I rested my head against April's as we continued to stare at our baby girl. We could watch her for hours, never growing tired of it. "Thank you for her. I know it wasn't easy." I had never for a second doubted that April was strong, but I had a new found respect for her after watching her go through labor and birth.

"She was so worth it," April replied. "A thousand times over, she was worth it."

* * *

Our first day home had gone better than I had expected. We still had night one to get through, but I was optimistic that we might survive it. Our parents had come and gone, insisting that we needed time to ourselves. Truth be told, they were probably all over at Joe's making bets on when I would shoot a flare for help off the balcony tonight.

April, still not feeling the greatest after labor and birth, was asleep on the couch and I was doing my best not to disturb her. I'd silenced our phones, kept the TV on a low volume, and made sure I wasn't making any unnecessary noise. We were surviving on power naps, but since she was the one that actually gave birth and was responsible for feeding a very needy newborn...she needed the nap more than I did.

Ayla, well...she was living it up over in the, let me get this right, Mamaroo. Now, if you aren't familiar let me just tell you about this thing. Its like a baby swing on steroids. You could make the thing move five different ways...so far, Ayla was a fan of the tree swing setting. I had figured that out all by myself. It also made sounds, for any white noise fans out there. Last but not least, you controlled the whole set up from your phone. I didn't even have to get out of the chair to control it. If I sound like a spokesperson for the product, I absolutely would be. If only they made one for adults. I would love to come home and crawl in that thing after a marathon surgery.

I was busy getting caught up on work emails when I noticed that Ayla was starting to stir around. I quickly got up and went to her, hoping I could get her before she started crying and woke April. I knew she shouldn't be hungry just yet, so I wasn't sure what the problem was. "What's the matter, huh?" I whispered, lifting her out of the swing. Didn't take me long to figure it out. I put my hand in it. She had apparently had an accident that her diaper couldn't contain _thanks Pampers_ and it was up her back and had come through her gown. "Shh, Daddy will fix it, you're ok..."

I went straight to her nursery with her and laid her on the changing table. No sooner than I started lifting the gown over her head she started screaming...and I do mean screaming. How could something so tiny scream at THAT volume? "Ayla...it's going to be ok, princess." She was not buying it. I finally managed to get the gown off her and discovered it was all over her back. What in the hell were we even putting diapers on her for anyway? They obviously only worked about half the time.

"What's going on?" Well, I did my best not to wake her...Ayla, on the other hand, she'd made no such promises.

"Diaper explosion." She walked over to us to assess the damage. "How are you feeling?" I asked, leaning down to give her a kiss.

"I actually feel a little better than I did, so thank you for making me nap. I guess you were right." Someone get a calendar and mark this down - April Kepner Avery admitted that I, her husband, was right about something.

I didn't feel like I was doing any good with my clean up efforts. I had a mountain of nasty baby wipes piled up on the changing table, and it was still everywhere. I don't understand how something this small could make such a huge mess. This couldn't be normal.

"Jackson, I think we just need to give her a bath," April suggested.

"Well I hope you know how to do that, because I don't have a clue." No use in lying about it, I didn't have the slightest clue. The only thing I knew was that we couldn't get what remained of her umbilical cord wet. That is the one thing I retained during discharge teaching this morning. "Can we even bathe her yet?"

"We just can't submerge her in water, she can have a swaddle bath." A swaddle what? Ok, I mean, long as she knew what she was doing.

April picked her up, instantly calming her down when she cradled her and talked to her softly. I mean, really? I'm not at all feeling slighted by this. She was warming up to me even though I had no food to offer her. However, when shit went down? She was all about Mommy. I guess even she had figured out April worked well under pressure.

I followed April into our bedroom and to our bathroom where she told me what supplies we needed. She turned the water in the sink on as I laid a towel out on the bathroom counter. Military operations have gone off easier than this was going to go. Ayla started screaming the second April put her down. She knew.

Personally, I thought it would have been much easier to hold her over the kitchen sink and hose her down with the sprayer, but I wasn't lead man on this operation. "Do I just squirt this soap on her?"

"Put it on the wash cloth," April instructed. I watched as she lathered the wash cloth up and uncovered half of Ayla while the other half remained covered by the towel. Apparently getting a bath was the worst thing that could happen to a three day old. Who knew? April quickly grabbed another wash cloth and rinsed her off before starting on the other side. I was there for moral support, but that was about it.

"Where is her paci?" Those things grew legs and walked off, I swear. She had been on this earth for three days and we couldn't keep up with a pacifier to save our lives. They just vanish into thin air.

"I don't think a paci is going to work right now," April replied. She continued cleaning her up as Ayla got louder and louder. I'm sure our neighbors were currently packing boxes and scheduling a moving truck. Or at least calling the cops to report a disturbance in our building. "Ayla, baby girl, it's ok...I'm almost finished!" Try reasoning with her, doesn't work. I had been trying it to no avail.

I grabbed a clean towel as April finished up and handed me a very angry, wet baby. I held her against my chest as I used the towel to dry her off. After a few minutes, she started to quieten down. Either that or she had wore herself out. I chose to believe I was finally able to calm her without assistance from anyone else.

We went back to her nursery to get her diapered and dressed...again. I laid her on the changing table and put a clean diaper on her while April got her something to wear. "What do you want to do with this one?" I asked, holding up the latest gown Ayla had destroyed.

"Just toss it. I am not even going to attempt to salvage that."

We got her dressed while she fussed at us and then started sucking her fist. "She's hungry," April said. I probably would be too after all of that. No telling how many calories she burned through screaming at the top of her lungs.

As soon as we got back in the living room, April sat down on the couch so she could feed the baby. I laid down next to them, not caring that I had to hang myself off the end so I could fit. I could have slept on the pavement outside at this point. "I'm just going to rest my eyes," I explained. I really was. Just five minutes, maybe ten.

"Uh huh, " April laughed. "She says excuse my feet, Daddy."

I felt tiny feet on my head as April got her situated so she could eat. This was really no different than being kicked during the night when April's belly would rest against my back. I could sleep through kicking baby feet, no prob.

I could have slept through the apocalypse.

* * *

Night one was over. We had survived the first night home with our baby girl. I wish I could tell you there were no casualties, but I'd be lying if I did. Final score...Ayla: 1 - April & Jackson: 0

We started out strong, or at least I thought we started out strong. We thought we had it all under control. 9:45PM rolled around, Ayla had just finished feeding, we decided we may as well get a jump start on this and go to bed. By a little after 10PM we were all three in our beds and planning on staying there for at least a couple hours until it was time for Ayla to feed again. I think April and I even gave one another a high five before turning off the lights and getting comfortable in bed. Arrogance, it'll get you every single time.

I had just dozed off when I heard Ayla crying. Opening my eyes I saw the clock read 10:50PM. I knew she shouldn't be hungry, so like the good husband I strive to be, I quickly got up and went to her. Wet diaper. Easy enough fix. Now might I mention my lovely wife, who the bassinet was right next to, never opened her eyes. Don't get me wrong, she feeds...I change...but open your eyes in solidarity. Let me know I have a partner down in this trench.

I got her all changed and swaddled again, made sure she had her paci, then put her down in the bassinet once again. Now before she actually arrived, and hell probably earlier today, I would have told you I had no idea how I was going to put her in her own bed while we slept in ours...even if she was literally right next to April's side of the bed, it would just be too far away. Now? Hey, whatever would grant me a few minutes of slumber.

No sooner than my head hit the pillow, well maybe 15 minutes after, we were crying again. Not just a whimper that indicated she might settle herself, but a cry that was telling me you better get out of that bed and come to me this instant. So I did. Again. This time, she'd lost her paci. End of the world. That thing was her best friend next to April's boobs. I put it back in her mouth and held it there while she sucked and was once again happy as can be. "Ayla, I can't stand here all night and hold this for you." She opened her little eyes as if to say, of course you can, what else do you have going on?

"Is it her Wubbanub paci?" She lives! Ok, now I am just being an ass. I really was happy someone was getting some rest around here, but her Wubba what?

"Her what?"

"The paci attached to the little animal. It's supposed to help them keep it in and not lose it so often."

"There is no animal on this pacifier, April." Had she lost it? I mean, she had been through a lot these past few days. I didn't recall seeing any pacifier that had an animal attached to it.

April got out of bed and walked by me to go to Ayla's room. I guess to retrieve this alleged pacifier. Sure enough, she returned with a pacifier that had a stuffed lamb attached to the end of it. I'll be damned. They thought of everything these days. April quickly switched the pacifiers out and thankfully, Ayla approved of the switch. Another crisis averted.

I'd been asleep about an hour when I got woke up by April turning the lamp on her side on. I opened my eyes to see that it was feeding time. I dozed on and off until I heard April trying to wake Ayla up. "You ok?" I asked, rolling over to face them.

"She ate really well from this side and she's out," April explained. She was tickling her feet, rubbing her little back, she had even touched a baby wipe to her face...this baby was in a milk coma. She wasn't at all interested in April's plans. "I really need her to eat from the other side, I am dying over here."

I sat up, slightly confused. I reached out trying to wake Ayla up, but she wasn't having any part of it. "She's been eating from just one side at a time," I reminded her. Just don't ask questions. Never ask questions. Or offer suggestions.

"Jackson, I know that, but my milk is completely in and these can only hold so much," she snapped as she pointed to her chest. "It gets really uncomfortable. That's why she needs to eat from both sides." _Things_ were definitely bigger, but I have to be honest when I tell you I was too tired to even process or enjoy this. Sleep deprivation is real.

Like I said, just don't ask. We menfolk just cannot understand. "What can I do?" I asked, reaching out to rub her leg. I mean, there wasn't much I could do about that problem. Truth be told, I was a little afraid to ask any further questions.

"Can you go get my breast pump? It's in her room in a bag by the rocking chair." Yep, this was the type of stuff that went on in the Avery household these days. This is the stuff you really have no clue about when you jump on the "Let's have a baby!" bandwagon.

I did as I was asked and returned to our bedroom with the breast pump. I got back in bed, taking Ayla from April so she could do whatever it is she needed to do with that thing. It was quite the set up. You'd need a degree to know how to operate it. April seemed to know what she was doing, so I just stayed on my side of the bed and kept the baby happy. That I could do.

When all was said and done, she had 2 ounces of milk in a bottle that she requested I put in the fridge. I cracked some joke to her about growing up on a farm, received the look once again, and did as I was asked.

I put Ayla back in the bassinet and once again climbed back in bed. It was a little over an hour later when the princess summoned me once again. This time, we had a dirty diaper. When I tried putting her back in her bed, she immediately started screaming. I tried everything I could think of. Nothing worked. Finally, I gave in. Lifting her out of the bassinet, I brought her back to bed with me and laid her on my chest.

She curled up in a little ball and fell right to sleep. I didn't know how April would feel about having her in bed with us, but I really didn't care. If it worked, it worked. Nothing else had. I only had to wonder until the next feeding when I woke as soon as April lifted her off my chest. "Sorry," she whispered. "Go back to sleep, I just need to feed her."

It was clear she didn't mind when she woke me to put her back on my chest. "I know we aren't supposed to do this, but she actually slept on you, so..."

"I won't tell if you don't," I replied. When you are as tired as we were, you would do anything. I mean anything.

The night continued on much the same way. Sleep for a short time, wake up with the baby, repeat. I'm not sure what I expected, but it kicked my ass. I stumbled out of bed about 6AM to change a diaper and decided I might as well start chugging coffee. I left April asleep as she had a marathon feeding session from about 3-5AM while I got to doze on and off. I really did love that woman. How were we measuring love these days? In sleep.

I put Ayla in her bouncer seat that I had placed on the kitchen counter and started making some coffee. She was looking all around as she sucked her paci, perfectly content as if she wondered why her old man was looking so haggard. I heard a light knock on the door and knew it was Mom. I had replied to a text she had sent earlier checking in on us, so I knew she couldn't help herself but to stop by before heading into work.

"Honey is here, Ayla. Brace yourself." I don't think I mentioned that my Mom had named herself Honey. Typical, huh? She insisted she was just too young and hip to go by any other Grandma name. Whatever. April and I weren't going to argue.

I opened the front door to find my Mom there with breakfast. She was good for something. "Hey baby," she said, walking past me. "How was the night?"

She was being polite for once in her life, apparently. If she couldn't look at me and tell how the night went, she was blind. "I've slept better," I replied.

"That's how it is, Daddy!" She washed her hands and then was over to Ayla immediately. "Hello my beautiful angel," she lifted Ayla from the bouncer, holding her as she continued to lose her mind over this baby. "I swear you've grown since just yesterday. Mommy must be feeding you well. Yes, she must be!" It would scare people if they could see Catherine Webber right now. This kid brought out a side of her all of us were certain did not exist.

I had already dug into the waffles she had brought. With a newborn, if you don't eat quick, you might not eat. "So you have a case this morning?"

"At 9:30," she replied. "Jackson, don't eat all of those. I brought some for April too."

"Hey you snooze, you lose."

"Jackson," she warned.

"I'm going to save her some, Mom. No worries." No matter how old I got, she had no trouble reprimanding me like I was a kid.

"I can see April in her," she said. "At first I thought she looked just like you, but I can see April now too. She's so beautiful." Ayla started to fuss after a few minutes, so Mom handed her to me. She immediately curled up on my chest and buried her face up by my neck. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little proud that she calmed down the moment she came in contact with me. I was holding her with one arm and trying to eat with the other. If I got syrup in her hair I would never hear the end of it.

"When do you come back to work?" She asked. I couldn't even think about that.

"I told Bailey I was taking two weeks off," I replied. "I have stuff scheduled after that, so I guess I will have to get back."

Mom reached out and touched my arm. "It'll be tough leaving them here, but I promise you it gets easier. You'll find a routine."

I wasn't so sure, but maybe so. The thought of being at the hospital all day while I was missing out on time here with April and Ayla was not going to be easy. It was just one more thing I never really considered before she was actually here.

"How about April?"

"She's off for twelve weeks," I replied.

"I don't know how Owen Hunt is going to make it," Mom laughed. "She runs that trauma bay better than he ever could, of course we'd never tell him that!" It was true. April could clear an ER in record speed. Turn her loose and watch her go, that was how it worked with her. Owen had definitely come to depend on her the past couple of years.

Ayla let out a squeak as she stretched in my arms. "Oh like you've had a hard day!" I kissed the top of her head as she got comfortable again and drifted back to sleep.

"Fatherhood looks good on you, son," Mom smiled.

"She is pretty perfect, huh?" Again, no bias in this room.

"She absolutely is."

When I thought of it like that, just in the moment with her in my arms, it was all worth it. I might never get a full nights rest again, but I could think of no better reason to lose sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks had flown by since our baby girl entered the world. They say when you have kids time does that, and I could say with absolute certainty now that it does. I had ran on the least amount of sleep possible these past two weeks, no denying that. I had also learned more than I ever thought possible in the same two weeks.

I was scheduled to return to work the next day and I was not handling that well. I was trying, but then I'd think about being gone all day without seeing either of them and I was right back to square one. It sucked. Really bad. How had two weeks already passed?

For now we were waiting in the Pediatrician's office for Ayla's two week checkup. Getting out the door on time with a newborn was a miracle in itself. Before baby, we would just get up and go. Now? Well, it should really qualify as an Olympic event.

The alarm _not that we needed one with Ayla_ went off bright and early and we hit the ground running. Or well, we moved as fast as we could considering the snippets of sleep we were using for energy. April fed the baby while I showered. I walked a screaming baby around the apartment while April showered. As soon as April was done with her five minutes of peace in the shower, she was out and feeding again while I held the blow dryer on her hair. _Yeah, you learn to do A LOT of things you never had to do before when a baby comes_.

The remainder of the morning was a blur of passing the baby back and forth while we pieced ourselves together, scarfing down breakfast, dressing Ayla, and making it out the door without forgetting anything important. I get tired thinking about it.

But here we are. We made it.

April was finishing paperwork that the receptionist handed us when we signed in. How can a two week old require so much paperwork? Makes no sense. Not to mention, I am certain every question they could possibly ask had already been answered during our time in the hospital. Pass information around, geez.

I was gently rocking Ayla's carseat back and forth on the floor in front of me. She was sound asleep. Her favorite time to sleep is when Mommy and Daddy can't. She's cute, so we don't hold it against her.

"I hope she's gained weight," April worried. There was literally no way this baby had not gained weight in the past two weeks. All she did was eat. I'm as much of a guy as the next, but I had seen my wife's breasts so much in the past two weeks that they were just another thing now. I mean that with the utmost respect, but truth is truth. For now, they belonged to Ayla.

"She has gained weight," I assured her. "Everything is going to be perfect. Stop worrying."

"Jackson..." she began.

"I know, I know." Asking her not to worry was about as pointless as asking the sun not to come up in the morning. It was her thing as a new Mom. She worried. "You are doing amazing with her, so you can worry but I'm not going to."

"Ayla Avery," we heard called. I stood and lifted Ayla's car seat before taking the diaper bag from April so she wouldn't have to carry anything. I followed her through the doorway where a nurse was waiting to take us back to the exam room.

"Dr. Kepner?!" I had barely made it through the doorway and someone already spotted and apparently knew my wife.

I could tell by the smile on April's face that she knew whoever this was also. "Jill, hey! How are you?" I watched as the nurse came up and hugged April, but I still had no clue who she was. _Was I supposed to know her?_ "Jackson, this is Jill," April explained. "She was one of my very favorite Trauma ICU nurses and then she left to come work here. Jill, this is my husband, Jackson."

"Dr. Avery, yes," she smiled and extended her hand to shake mine. She seemed nice enough. If April thought she was good people, she most likely was.

"I was so happy to hear you had your sweet baby," she continued on. "I'm so glad I was on today so I could see you." Before I was asked, I turned the carrier around so she could see inside. I was getting better at knowing when to show this one off. "Oh she's beautiful and so tiny! I am so happy for you!" Women went nuts over babies. Literally nuts. I had learned that also.

April thanked her once again, giving her another hug before we continued down the hallway. Never failed, everywhere we went, someone knew April. I was beginning to think I must be a giant asshole at work seeing as how I never got the reaction that she did. Or if they knew me, they usually only perked up when April came up in conversation. The nicest person in all of Seattle, I'm telling you.

"Ok, I'll need you to undress her so we can see what she weighs today," the nurse instructed. They really had no idea what they were asking. You never wake a sleeping Avery. We were about to unleash havoc on this place. April unbuckled and gently lifted her out of the car seat with minimal drama, but I knew once she realized she was naked all bets were off.

Just as I knew, the minute April had her undressed she was telling everyone in a 10 mile radius about it. The nurse had April place her on the scale which only ticked her off even more. I couldn't help but laugh. Her little temper was Kepner through and through. She had no problem at all voicing her opinion...just like someone else I know and love. "It's ok, Ayla. It's almost over," April soothed. Wasn't working, but she gets points for trying.

"7, pounds 4, ounces," the nurse announced. "I see she was 7, pounds 1, ounce at birth so she has gained back whatever bit she lost in the first few days plus 3 ounces. Dr. Scott is going to be very happy!"

"See?" I smiled. "I told you." I might not know much about babies, but I knew we had nothing to be worried about when it came to this baby's weight. She's an Avery. She enjoys her food.

April picked her up off the scale and cradled her while I covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't get cold. Of course she immediately calmed. I swear April had some magic ability to calm her down no matter what the problem was. Me? I had about a 75% success rate, which was decent, but I was determined that she was going to be a Daddy's Girl. April might be batting 1000 now, but I'd pull ahead eventually.

We followed the nurse into an exam room and settled in for another round of questions. You would think there was nothing on earth left to ask us, but you'd be wrong. I took Ayla from April, holding her against my chest just how she liked and covered her with her blanket. She curled right up. Worked _most_ every time.

"Are there any questions or concerns you need to discuss with Dr. Scott today?" The nurse asked.

April looked at me, silently asking if there was anything we were forgetting. _As if I'd remember._ It's a testament to how busy my wife had been the past two weeks adjusting to motherhood when she didn't bust out some list with any and all questions we had on it. When I tell you she is organized, I mean what I say. "I don't think so," I replied. "We were mostly just anxious to see what her weight was today."

The nurse smiled, "Well I can tell you that her weight is perfect." She got her computer going and settled in to no doubt ask us everything but what size underwear we each wore. They want to know _everything_.

"I just have a few quick questions I need for my chart here and then I promise we are done with all of this. I'll start with you, April," she explained. "Age?"

"33," April replied.

"34," I corrected. She looked at me. "You were 34 a few months ago, babe."

"Yeah, ok," she agreed. "Sorry, yes...I am 34."

Life with a newborn isn't easy, people. It robs you of every brain cell you have. You rarely know what day it is, much less your age. I just lucked up on that one.

"And you're a surgeon at Grey-Sloan?"

"I am," April replied. "Trauma."

I didn't see what this had to do with anything, but apparently they needed to know our life history. I was waiting on the question of how we met and how long had we been married. "I'll read through what I have on your pregnancy. If anything is incorrect just let me know," she rattled on. "You were a patient of Dr. Lawrence. Vaginal delivery at 40 weeks 2 days, no complications during labor or delivery. No complications during pregnancy...no gestational diabetes or hypertension. Group B Strep test at 36 weeks was negative. Only regular medication during pregnancy was a prenatal vitamin. Father is Jackson, Head of Plastic Surgery at Grey-Sloan?"

April nodded. "That's all correct."

"And your age, Jackson?" She asked.

"Also 34," I replied. I was 2 for 2 today.

"I think that completes everything!" She explained. We watched as she gathered her things and started to exit the room, "Dr. Scott will be in very shortly."

"See?" I smiled. "Nothing to worry about. Except your memory."

April nudged me from where she was seated next to me, "I am running on about 3 hours of sleep, buddy. She's lucky I even knew my name." Truer words had never been spoken.

"Is she sleeping?" April asked, leaning over to peep under the blanket. This baby girl was out. Score one for Daddy. "You've totally ruined her, you know. She thinks she's only supposed to sleep on your chest. What am I going to do with her when you are back to work tomorrow?"

I shook my head. There went the joy...right out of the room. Work. Total buzzkill. "I can't even think about it," I told her. I was trying to live in denial even though I knew there was really no use. Tomorrow would come and I'd be back to business as usual. "You have no idea how hard it's going to be to leave you two in the morning."

"I do," April replied. "It's going to be just as hard on us not having you home. It's my first day ALL by myself with her!"

"You are going to do great." She was. No doubt in my mind. She would get into a daily routine, that didn't include me, and never look back. I had zero doubt about her ability to take care of Ayla all day without any help.

"What time do you go in tomorrow?" She asked.

"I have a meeting at 8," I explained. Did I mention I'd like to take my seat on the Board and ram it up someone's ass? Well, I would love to do that. "Then I have a couple pre op appointments and 3 cases tomorrow. All elective, nothing major, so I should be home no later than 4:30 or 5." I was going to be. Bottom line. As Head of my department I could put whatever off on the guys under me. It was going to suck to be them for a little while.

A knock on the door interrupted our conversation and Dr. Scott entered. "April, Jackson, great to see you!"

April knew Dr. Scott from working alongside her in the ER. I didn't really know her, but trusted April's judgment on these things. I knew she was busy enough to where she wasn't currently accepting new patients, Ayla excluded, so apparently other people had the same opinion of her that my wife did. I stood from where I was seated and walked over to the exam table. I laid Ayla down on her blanket so she could be examined. So far, she stayed asleep.

"You've got a beauty here," Dr. Scott said. She carefully listened to her heart and lungs before moving the stethoscope down to her tummy. "She sounds perfect, guys." All was well until she started checking reflexes, eyes, and tone. Princess did not approve. "I'm sorry, Ayla. Nobody enjoys this part." She completed her exam as quickly as possible and then I scooped her up once again to fix all the wrong in her world. At two weeks old, that wasn't hard to handle.

"She's perfect," Dr. Scott smiled. "Perfect bill of health and absolutely beautiful. How is breastfeeding going?"

April quietly laughed, "All the time? She will go for a couple hour stretch every so often without nursing, but it's pretty steady." That was an understatement. I repeat, baby girl liked her food.

Dr. Scott smiled, "That is to be expected at this age. She's also going to be hitting some growth spurts and on those days feeding her is just about all you'll be doing. I promise it gets better and she'll find herself more of a schedule. How long are you home with her?"

"I go back in 10 weeks," April replied.

"Excellent! And will she be in daycare once you're back?"

April looked at me. This had been a point of contention the past week or so. Daycare was the plan. It had always been the plan. Now that she was here...April had some reservations. "She has a spot, but we aren't sure yet. Most likely she will be."

I had no idea how we were going to figure that issue out, but we had 10 weeks left before April would be returning to work, so I decided to table it for now. Nothing good could come from discussing leaving our newborn to return to work with my wife. Especially just two weeks into this gig. She was never out of April's sight and that is exactly how she preferred it. I decided to choose my battles wisely and discuss it at a later date.

"Starting daycare at 12 weeks is absolutely fine," Dr. Scott explained. "She will have had her first round of immunizations by then, so no worries about that." She gave April a hug before walking to the door. "Unless you have a problem before then, I'll see her back in 2 weeks. That will be her 1 month appointment and she will get her second Hepatitis B vaccine then. She got the first before leaving the hospital."

Now I was a doctor and a pretty good one, in my opinion, but the thought of anyone sticking my angel with a needle just about sent me over the edge. I would have to see about smuggling something for my nerves home from work before that appointment. I'm most likely not kidding.

"Thanks so much," April said to her. We watched as she exited the room and started working together to get Ayla dressed. "Can you go make the appointment? I need to feed her before we leave." When she said it was feeding time, I didn't ask questions, I just did as I was told.

"When do you want the appointment?"

"Doesn't matter," she replied. "Whatever works with your schedule."

"I'll be free whenever it is," I promised her. These patients of mine had another thing coming if they thought I was missing anything that involved my baby girl. _Great attitude to start back with, I know._ Grey-Sloan was about to be introduced to lazy ass Dr. Avery. Willing to do the bare minimum with a smile on my face, but don't dare ask for any extra favors.

Hey, no use in lying about it...

* * *

Morning arrived all too quickly and I was not happy. April had insisted on being the only one to get up with Ayla through the night since I was returning to work. I tried to sleep, but I knew every single time she got out of bed with the baby and I also knew when she didn't return. I appreciated the gesture, and I would never tell her it was all in vain, but I still slept like shit. She may as well have let me take the diaper changes and non feeding issues like I had been doing and gotten more sleep herself. My mind was stuck on being away from them and that left little room for anything else...including sleep.

I pulled myself out of bed somehow, the whole time having to shut down the part of my brain trying to convince me to call in sick with every disease known to man. Surely they wouldn't find me being sick on my first day back suspicious. I looked at the alarm clock seeing I had exactly 45 minutes to shower, dress, and grab coffee before I needed to be out the door.

I turned the water on in our shower, left it to warm up, and decided to see where my girls were. I checked the living room first, not finding them there, and decided to start the coffee before going to the guest room. I quietly opened the door, hoping to find them awake, but instead found them both sleeping. April was sound asleep on her side with Ayla cradled against her also out for the count. I exited the room as quietly as I entered, deciding to leave April alone until right before I left.

Did I mention this sucked?

I rushed through my shower, threw clothes on, and started gathering things I needed for work that I hadn't touched in weeks. Thankfully, I was able to locate it all as I really didn't want the last interaction I had with my wife this morning to be us frantically searching for my work bag. I won't confirm or deny if that exact situation has happened before.

After I grabbed a cup of coffee and made certain everything else I needed was ready to go, I headed back to the guest room to do what I had been dreading for days. I found them both still asleep _of all times for them to actually sleep,_ but no way was I leaving without seeing them for a second. "Hey," I whispered, gently touching April's arm. "April, babe..."

She opened her eyes slowly as I sat down on the bed next to them. "I'm about to head out, it's 7:15. Why did you come in here? You didn't have to do that."

"She hasn't had the best night," she replied sleepily. "I'm not sure if her tummy was bothering her or if she's going through a growth spurt like Dr. Scott mentioned, but she wanted to feed all night. I finally got her to sleep about 5:45." I could tell she was exhausted, but she'd never complain.

"Ok," I replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you. You sleep, I won't wake her since she is finally settled..."

"Jackson, no..." She replied. "Hold her before you leave. I know you want to and it's fine..."

Bless this woman. She knew me too well. I would have never said so, but if I had to walk out the door without getting to hold Ayla I would have had an even worse day. People probably wouldn't have wanted to be around me. I gently lifted her from April's arms, getting a tiny squeak from her _she can literally knock me to my knees with anything she does_ , and brought her up to my face so I could kiss her cheeks and take everything about her in.

"Daddy loves you so much," I said softly. I held her for as long as time allowed before kissing her little head and breathing in her baby smell. "You be a good girl for Mommy today. I'm going to miss you." Yeah, she owned my ass. What can I say? Obsessed with her doesn't begin to cover it. Things were getting blurry as I tried to keep the tears building up in my eyes from spilling over. What the hell happened to me? I used to live for work days and now here I sat trying not to cry like a freaking child at the thought of leaving my own.

I placed Ayla back in April's arms, thankful I had managed to love on her without waking her up. I took one look at April and could tell she was trying to hold it together also. "We're not doing this," I told her. "I'm not going to the dark side of the moon for 6 months. We're going to be fine." I wasn't really sure who I was trying to convince more.

April quietly laughed. There was that smile. I would be ok seeing that smile. "I know," she replied. "I love you. Promise me you'll try to have a good day? We'll be fine and waiting on you when you get home this afternoon."

"I'll try," I said. "You'll text me?"

"Yes," she promised.

"You'll call? You'll send pictures of anything she does? FaceTime at lunch?" I was desperate.

She laughed, "Yes, Jackson. I promise to text you updates, pictures, and/or videos of anything she does. I also promise to FaceTime you at lunch so you can see her. Anything else?"

"Yes," I smiled. "Can I get a kiss before I go?"

"Jackson," she complained. "I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. I know you love me, you know I love you..."

I leaned down and shut her up with a kiss. Damn she rambled sometimes. I rested my forehead against hers, "As if I care if you've brushed your teeth yet." I gave her another quick kiss before standing up from where I sat on the bed. "I love you. If you need anything, and I mean anything, you know to call me, Mom, Richard, whoever...just call someone if you need anything."

"Jackson, we're going to be fine." I knew she would be, but still, it was my duty to line up backup plan after backup plan.

"Ok," I nodded. "Go back to sleep. Check in with me whenever you wake up. I love you."

"I love you," she replied.

I got out of there before I decided to throw the whole day in the trash and be a no call/no show. I'm sure I'd hear it from Bailey, but her bark was far worse than her bite.

I grabbed my cell off the kitchen counter and saw I had a text from Owen. Already. It wasn't even 8:00 yet. **"You back today? Consult?"**

Annnnnnnnd here we go. Day one off to business as usual.

* * *

Day one had gone fairly well. Meeting this morning was quick and painless, my three scheduled procedures had gone well, and I had only been roped into one emergent case courtesy of Meredith. One of my pre op appointments was a creepy old lady _who always hit on me_ that had gotten everything she had nipped, tucked, lifted, or removed multiple times. We were on a first name basis, if that tells you anything. Other than, I couldn't complain. Everyone had lived, no crazy disasters had befallen us, so I could chalk it up to a success even though it was now 5:30 in the evening and I was just finishing up.

My deadline of 4:30 or 5:00 had clearly come and gone. I'd have to try harder tomorrow.

I was finishing up putting some orders in at the nurses station when Bailey flew around the corner. She moved fast to be as short as she was. You never saw her coming until it was too late to escape. "Avery!" Hell...

"Yes, Dr. Bailey?" There was no telling what this was going to be about.

"You've been here all day and you haven't bothered to show me any pictures of that baby?"

I looked up at her. "Well I've been working. Also, you have visited us twice since she was born."

"Enough of that," she fussed. "Pictures. Now." She had been more interested in Ayla than I ever imagined. Something about missing the days when Tuck was this small. Ben had threatened me not to give her any ideas.

I took my phone out of my pocket and pulled up some of the newest pictures for her. I handed her the phone so she could look while I finished charting. At least now I had a way to keep her occupied and out of everyone's business.

"Kepner makes me sick!"

"Makes you sick?" This should be good.

"How old is this baby?"

"She's 2 weeks."

"Exactly." Bailey rolled her eyes. "She doesn't even look like she had a baby. This picture," she said, thrusting the phone in my face as if I didn't know what my own wife currently looked like. "She had that baby 2 weeks ago and you cannot even tell she was pregnant. Do you know how long it took me to lose the weight I gained with Tuck?"

"I don't..." This was a slippery slope I did NOT want to bust my ass on.

"It took longer than 2 weeks, I can tell you that!"

I spotted my Mom coming in our direction as one of the nurses on the unit approached me. "Dr. Avery, your patient in room 326 is refusing the Loratab you ordered. She says she needs something stronger."

 _For the love of..._

"She's going home tomorrow on oral pain medication, she is aware of that, yes?" I tried to be understanding, but sometimes patients could get the best of me.

"I told her and she is still refusing. She demanded I call you." The poor nurse looked frustrated, so I decided to help her out.

I looked this patient up quickly, double checking any allergies, and entered the order. "Give her a one time dose of Morphine 5mg IV push. After that she is to take PO only. She won't have IV medication tomorrow when she leaves, so we need to make sure Loratab covers it before she's discharged."

"Thanks, Dr. Avery." The nurse quickly left the desk to go do as I had asked. Turning my attention back to Bailey, and hoping to get my phone back, I saw my Mother was in on the fun now. Those two were combing through pictures of my baby like the crazed women they are.

"Would you look at this," Bailey said. She held the phone over to my Mom as they both squealed and continued to act as if Ayla was the first baby they had ever been around.

"I think she looks like Jackson," Bailey decided. Standing right here, but they didn't even notice.

"She does," Mom agreed. "Though sometimes you can catch a glimpse of April every now and then. I might be partial, but I think she is just the most beautiful baby out there!"

"Not biased," Bailey replied. "Not biased at all. Oh look at this one!" This could go on all night if I didn't stop it.

"Ok ladies," I attempted. "Mind if I have my phone back so I can get going?"

Mom glanced up at me as if I had just told her the most offensive thing one can imagine. "Jackson, dear, we are just looking through these pictures. You get to see her all of the time, we don't!" Now that statement bordered on a lie, but I wasn't going to call her out on it. She came over at least every other day, but who keeps track?

"Oh are these new pictures of our girl?" Now Richard had joined in on it. He had never outright claimed me, granted I had never claimed him either, but he was all about Ayla. The Step in the title was just semantics to him, which as April had pointed out, was a positive thing and one we should support. As if she needed another Grandparent to spoil her.

"These are pictures of our girl," Mom confirmed. She quickly flipped back to the beginning of the ones April had sent me throughout the day and started showing him. "She's up to 7, pounds 4, ounces now! April said everything went great at her 2 week checkup!" So now she was getting updates straight from the source and bypassing me altogether.

"Is that right?" Richard smiled. "We knew she was perfect! Oh, send me that one, I need a new background for my phone."

I had lost complete control of this entire situation. Complete control.

"Guys," I interrupted. "We appreciate all of you so much, but could I get my phone so I can get going? I'd like to get home to them before midnight."

Mom gave me one of her looks. "Oh don't be so dramatic, dear. Let me just send this album to myself and you can have your phone back." I watched as she did exactly as she wanted and then finally handed the phone back over.

"Thank you," I said.

"You give her kisses from Honey and Chief," she instructed. "We'll do the video call before we go to bed tonight." Yes, they had grandparent names and they had figured out how to FaceTime. It was like the freaking Twilight Zone with them. On the plus side, I was pretty certain April and I would have no problem talking them into babysitting when we got to the point of wanting to go out.

I made my way to the Attending's lounge as fast as possible, before anyone else stopped me, and changed out of my scrubs and back into my regular clothes. I grabbed a few things I would need for tomorrow, threw them in my bag, and headed for the door. I sent April a text letting her know I was on my way, barring any interruptions from the baby stalkers.

The drive home was uneventful. Tempting as it was to speed, I thought better of it. Greeting April with a speeding ticket wasn't the angle I was going for. I arrived home a little after 6PM and got upstairs to our apartment as fast as possible. Home at last!

I unlocked the door and entered hoping to find everything under control and my girls calm. I already felt bad for being later than I intended, so I really didn't want to walk into any disasters. "Hey babe, I'm home!"

"In here," I heard April call from Ayla's room.

I put my stuff down and immediately went to the nursery where I found April changing a diaper. The instant I saw them, all was right in my world again. "How was your day?" She asked as I wrapped my arms around her from behind and hugged her to me.

"Not bad at all," I replied. "How did things go here? Sorry I am getting in later than I planned."

She laughed, "When do we ever get out of there exactly when we plan?" She finished up with the diaper change and then lifted a wide awake Ayla into her arms. "Tell Daddy that we had a really good day!"

"You did?" I smiled. I took Ayla from April, pretty certain that I wouldn't let her go the rest of the evening save for things I couldn't do...like feed her. I kissed her little cheek and laughed as she turned away from me. "Did you see that?" I asked April. I kissed her again and got the same reaction.

"Your face is scratchy," April laughed. "I told you she doesn't like it!"

"Do you not like my scratchy face, baby girl?" I said to her. "You might be the one that gets me to shave..." It was true. For her, I would do just about anything.

"Nope!" April replied. "If I have to deal with it, she has to deal with it. She'll get used to it!" We both knew that was her way of saying she liked me to have some facial hair even though she'd never admit it. I could read between the lines.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"We did," she said. "We slept most of the morning, so that is probably why she is so wide awake now."

I followed her out of the nursery and into the kitchen where I saw she was cooking dinner. "Babe, I could have picked something up on the way home. You didn't need to cook anything."

I watched as she put a pan of lasagna into the oven. "I made that up and froze it before she was born. I said we had a good day, but don't get ahead of yourself." It was coming back to me. One Saturday not long before Ayla was born she had the entire counter in the kitchen covered with food and was obviously on some type of mission. I didn't dare get in her way, but I did gather that she was making up a bunch of meals to freeze for nights exactly like this one. She thinks of everything.

"What can I do?" I asked. She didn't often turn me loose in the kitchen, but there were a few basic skills in there I had mastered. I was also pretty good at following instructions. Being married to April helped develop that particular talent.

"Just spend time with her," she replied. "I know you've missed her today, so I don't want you to worry about anything else."

"I can definitely do that." I smiled. I sat down on one of the stools at our bar and continued telling her about the day, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Mildred came to see me today."

"Oh God," April replied. Mildred had been an ongoing joke for years. You name it, she'd had it done. Before me, she had been a patient of Mark's. Mark, may he rest in peace, threw her off on me as soon as he could. I quickly learned why. She liked to hit on me despite having met April several times before and knowing we were married. I guess she thought her 70 year old self would be too much for me to resist. "Ayla, your Daddy is already back to talking to Mildred again. Let's hope he sticks around."

I laughed. "It's tempting, April. Truly."

"So did she hit on you today?"

Why lie? "Of course. So I did what I always do, directed the conversation to you, showed her pictures of the most beautiful baby on earth..." I said, looking down at Ayla who looked as if she was listening intently. "She was kind of strictly business after that. Who knew this is all it would take!"

April laughed. "You're damaged goods now. You got me pregnant and now you have baggage. Mildred does not want to deal with your Baby Mama."

"She really doesn't. You can be scary when you want to be," I joked. I got a smile and look from her as she chopped up some vegetables for a salad.

"Speaking of scary," April began. I could tell by her tone that this was going to be a good one. "My sister called today and..."

"Which one?" I've not touched on the subject of my wife's sisters yet. It's really for the best, trust me. She has three and I absolutely rank them from least tolerable to most tolerable. Libby was the most likable of the trifecta. Kimmie was, by far, the one I liked the least.

"Libby," she continued. "They are coming for a visit. I told them we were coming to Ohio for Thanksgiving, but it basically fell on deaf ears. They said by November she will be four months old and..."

"Who is they?" I had to stop her right there and find out. This could be bad. Really bad. If the entire bunch was coming, I was packing us up and we were going off the grid for a while.

"Just Libby, Alice, and Kimmie," April replied.

"Kimmie?!" I couldn't help it. It just fell out before I had time to control my tongue.

April continued chopping vegetables as I let out a string of profanities. "Jackson, honey, I know... _I know,_ do you honestly think I want to deal with them? I just really don't know how to get around it. I was able to narrow it down to only Mom and Dad when she was born, but I don't see another way to handle this."

I nodded. Getting my blood pressure back in check before I had a stroke. I'm really not exaggerating here. "I know. It's ok, we knew it was going to happen. All I ask is that they do not stay here. We don't have room for all of them and I..."

"No. They aren't staying here," April promised. "I booked them rooms today at a hotel, which is another thing, you'll see that charge on our card..." I didn't care if she maxed the credit card out getting them set up someplace other than our house. It was them at a hotel or us. Either or.

"You know, I think I might have a conference or something coming up..."

"Jackson Avery," she stopped chopping carrots and pointed the knife in my direction. "If I have to deal with them, you have to deal with them. For better or worse, remember?"

I wasn't exactly convinced that her sisters are what the minister meant by worse, but she did have a point. "I will be on my best behavior." I looked down at Ayla, still wide awake. "Your Aunts are crazy, baby girl. Daddy didn't do that to you. I didn't give you any crazy Aunts or Uncles."

April laughed, "Jackson, really? Are we really going to start comparing crazy?"

I laughed. She had a point. "It's hard being the only normal ones."

"It really is," she smiled.

I continued watching Ayla as she looked all around, so peaceful in her own little world. Poor kid had no idea what was headed her way.


	6. Chapter 6

Firsts are scary. Simple as. You go into these things pretty certain of what to do or how you will behave and then reality hits. The entire past year had been full of those for me. Some I passed with no issue at all, others I made it through a little worse for the wear. This week had been no different.

Firsts, they just keep coming.

Ayla was now 5 weeks old. A whole month and a few days. In some ways, I felt like we were finally becoming seasoned parents _who am I kidding?_ in other things it might as well have been the first time every time.

This girl was obviously still our entire world. That hadn't changed since the moment we discovered she was on the way. The sun rose and set with her. April and I often wondered what exactly we did to pass the time before she arrived. I'm sure we enjoyed ourselves, but life truly began when this little beauty entered it. She changed every single day. She still didn't see the value of a good night's sleep, but I couldn't hold it against her. She was by far the best reason for sleep deprivation.

Ayla had passed her 1 month check up with flying colors. Again, we knew she was perfect, but it always helps to have others agree. She was steadily gaining weight, she had grown in length, and some of her newborn clothes were getting a bit snug. We _well mainly April if we're being technical_ were clearly able to feed her and keep her growth on track. However, there was one tiny area where I fell short. You can't win them all.

At this particular check up, she was to receive a vaccine. One little shot in her thigh. A needle so tiny you could hardly believe it and the amount of medicine to be injected was just about as minuscule. Dr. Scott had prepared us well in advance. I knew it was on the agenda for that visit and I knew what to expect. I'm a doctor for hell's sake! When it came down to it, none of that mattered. When the nurse came in the room to administer it, I had what I am sure was the first of many...well, for lack of a better term and to save myself embarrassment, episodes.

April and I had her undressed down to her diaper. We were ready. Well, they were. I was not. The suggestion was for April to hold her while she received the shot and then nurse her immediately after. This was supposed to help soothe them after any painful procedures. Me? I pretty much just had to stand there and do nothing.

Well...I couldn't handle it.

As soon as the nurse wiped a spot on her little leg with an alcohol swab, my episode kicked in. I'll save time by brushing over specifics, but I just couldn't handle it. There we all were...the nurse ready to stick, my poor wife sitting there with her boob on display ready to feed, hell even Ayla was probably ready to get it over with and I just couldn't help myself. I had to call a timeout.

It ended with April sweetly telling me that I could stand in the hallway, and the nurse probably wondering exactly what kind of doctor I was since I couldn't watch my child get 1 shot. Yes, I stick children in the ER all of the time and I am fine. Nothing to it! However, when you put Ayla on the receiving end of a needle, all bets are off. She's my baby girl, my little princess, my whole heart...and I cannot deal with anyone causing her pain. Yeah, I had a lot to learn and a long road ahead of me, but right now I was going to act ridiculous if I wanted to. So I did as April suggested. I took myself out into the hallway and felt completely justified in doing so. Again, I know I have a problem. First step is admitting it. Anyway, the whole thing took all of 10 seconds, but her cry broke my heart.

It broke my freaking heart.

As soon as it was over, I was back in the room and at her side. April didn't seem the least bit phased by the whole ordeal and Ayla was already starting to calm down. I watched as April got her latched on and she started feeding as if none of the aforementioned had ever happened. Though she would have never said a word, I think April was a bit amused at my reaction. We did survive it though. Well...I survived it. There was never a question about April or Ayla sailing through.

So firsts...sometimes they suck.

Today was a whole new first. It was my first experience completely alone with Ayla. That's right, April had a few things she needed to get done _if we're being totally honest here, she deserved a few hours of peace_ so Daddy was flying solo.

It was my day off, so it was a perfect time for her to get a small break. April was going to get her hair trimmed or something and whatever those things are called when they get their toenails painted and such. Women stuff. I never ask. She also had to go to the grocery store. Total time spent away from us? A few hours at most. I told her we'd be fine, no need to line anyone up i _.e. My Mother_ to help out, I had this.

Now that the morning had arrived, I wasn't so sure.

I was still lying in bed with Ayla as I watched April rush around the room getting ready. She really wasn't pressed for time, but that's the thing about my wife. She does most everything in a blur. She had also just fed Ayla, and was trying to go and get back home before time for her next feeding. When I tell you once babies arrive they control everything, it is true. We lived by Ayla's schedule, not the other way around.

"Look, I'm taking your car and leaving you mine," she explained. "You shouldn't have to go anywhere, but just in case." This woman was the expert on preparing for "just in case" situations.

I was slightly confused. "Why? I mean it's fine if you take mine, but..."

Obviously I'd missed something somewhere along the way. "The base for her car seat is in my car, Jackson. We never put the extra base we have in your car and I don't want it thrown in there in a hurry." Yes. Right. No car seat base to click the carrier in. Got it.

"Oh, right. Whatever you want to do is fine with me," I smiled. I'd been married long enough to know how to respond to these type things.

She finished getting dressed, brushed her teeth, and slipped her shoes on. Clearly she had decided to show the world she could still be a brand new Mom and look damn good doing it. No one would ever know she'd given birth 5 weeks ago unless she told them. Me? Well, I'd taken the approach of looking like I crawled out of a ditch when it came to the effort I put into dressing after being awake half the night. To each their own, I say.

I finally pulled myself out of bed and followed April out of our bedroom with Ayla in my arms. Baby girl and I were still rocking our pajamas. If left up to me, that's how we'd stay all day.

"I just fed her, so she should be good for a few hours," April explained. "If she gets hungry, I have a couple bottles of pumped milk that I thawed out in the fridge." She opened the fridge to show me their exact location.

"She's never taken a bottle before!" Yeah, I was stating the obvious, but I thought it a good point to make. I was not above going out to look all over Seattle for her if Ayla got hungry. When it was time to eat, this baby wasn't waiting around. She meant business.

"I know," April replied. "It's going to be fine. You have fed a baby with a bottle before, yes?"

"Maybe once! In all my time here on earth!" We had clearly gone from A to Z in one move here. Yeah, I had probably held a bottle in a baby's mouth at some point in my medical training, but those babies weren't like this baby. This baby's genetic makeup was ½ Kepner. At 5 weeks old she'd already made it very clear that she wasn't one to suffer any fools gladly. That's all I am going to say. I did not want to go head to head with Ayla over her food source.

April laughed, "Jackson, you're going to be fine. I promise." She immediately went back to rattling off instructions on how much to feed her if need be, how to warm the milk, where the bottles and bottle nipples were, etc. Information overload. I really should've been taking notes.

Once those instructions had been given to me, she explained that she had put Ayla's clothes out on her changing table. My wife's passive aggressive way of telling me we'd better not still look like a couple slobs when she got home.

"You be a good girl for Daddy, ok?" She cooed to Ayla as she gave her a kiss. "He hasn't done this before, so go easy on him." I desperately needed this baby to take April's advice. "I love you, sweet girl!" She got a reaction out of Ayla that no one, not even myself, could get. Ayla's eyes lit up the instant she heard April's voice. She loved her Mommy. No doubt about that. Daddy's Girl. I was working on it.

April stood on her tiptoes, coming closer to my level to give me a quick kiss. "Love you," she said. "Seriously, you will do great with her. I know you will. If you need me, just call."

"We'll be fine," I smiled. Maybe. "Oh, I almost forgot. You care if Ben comes over? Bailey is working today, Tuck is with a friend, so he was going to come hang here for a bit?"

"That's fine," she said, grabbing her purse and my keys. "Just try not to mess the house up too much, ok?" I would have been offended had she not smiled after saying that. She knew I couldn't be mad at her then.

"I promise," I told her. "Be careful, love you."

Refraining from destroying the house reminded me. The unholy trinity was on the way to Seattle this week to stay for a few days. Yes, I mean April's sisters. That's as much as I'll say, for now. More later.

Soon as April left, I found myself standing in the middle of the living room holding Ayla and really not quite sure what move I needed to make next. I decided to shoot Ben a text, letting him know April was gone and had approved our plans. He replied that he was on the way.

I decided the first thing that needed to happen was a shower. I'd yet to do that this morning and well, I at least needed to attempt to make myself presentable. I knew April's system for getting a shower, so I decided to give it a try. How hard could it be?

The system was simple. The bouncy seat had taken up permanent residence in our bathroom. Whenever April needed to shower, change clothes, etc. that is where Ayla went. It seemed to work great for her, she was always bathed and put together when I got home. Surely it'd work out the same way for me.

I went in our bathroom and decided doing this quickly was the way to go. I put Ayla in the seat, made sure she had her pacifier, then got down to business. No sooner than I had stepped in the shower she started wailing. At the top of her lungs. "Ayla..." I called out. I know it never works, but you have to try something. "Ayla, you're ok. I'll finish up as quick as I can, princess!"

Nope. Not accepting it. She did not care. The longer I took in there, the louder she got. I quickly rinsed the soap off myself, shut the water off, and grabbed my towel. Shortest shower in history. The water hadn't even warmed up all the way yet. "Ayla Charlotte, seriously?" _5 weeks old and I'm already breaking out the first and middle name..._

That's when I heard it. The sound every parent is genetically tuned to hear. You can hear it in a dead sleep, a crowded stadium, or when every other sense in your body has gone including most of your hearing...baby vomit. Never in all of my 34 years have I moved so fast. I did manage to get a towel around my waist, but I was dripping water _and probably whatever soap I failed to rinse off_ all over our bathroom.

I quickly picked Ayla up from the bouncy seat and patted her back. She didn't appear to be choking, she was a reassuring pink color, but she had definitely spit up all down the front of her pajamas. She had gotten herself that upset over the fact that I dare put her down so I could take a shower. So mad that she literally worked herself up into a vomiting frenzy. Baby girl drama, enough said.

"Ayla," I said. I had to laugh. There I stood in nothing but my towel, dripping water all over the bathroom, holding my baby that had spit up all over herself. Wasn't real sure where to start turning this wrecked boat around. We were getting off to a great start. "Was it really so awful to sit by yourself for maybe 5 minutes?" Apparently so.

I took her into our bedroom and laid her in the middle of our bed so I could finish drying off and get some clothes on. As always, she immediately started voicing her opinion at the horrible offense of being put down. I finished up in record speed, trying my hardest to avoid any more mishaps. Our bathroom was now a disaster, but we could just shut the door and company would be none the wiser. At least that is what I would tell April when she saw it.

After I was finished in our room, I picked Ayla up to get her cleaned and into whatever outfit April had picked out for the day. "I know you don't behave like that for Mommy," I told her. As long as I was holding her, she was perfectly content. "No way she sits around holding you all day, so how come you cut her some slack?" She was looking at me as if to tell me it was none of my business. Girls united and all that crap.

Still, she was cutest damn thing in the entire universe. Spit up, screaming, and all.

"Ok, Ayla, I need you to work with me here, princess..." I unsnapped her sleeper and got it off with minimal drama. I got a baby wipe, giving her a quick wipe down since she decided to barf all over herself earlier. I know April would have given her a bath, but I was trying to keep my head above water here. I checked her diaper, finding that it needed to be changed, and got that taken care of. I had been at this no time and I already needed a damn nap.

I heard a knock at the door, not realizing how much time had passed since I started my attempt to dress us both. I picked Ayla up, clad only in her diaper, and went to answer the door.

"Hey, man!" Ben greeted. He looked rested. Like he'd probably slept ALL night. "And hello, Ayla!"

"Sorry for the half naked baby," I said. "I'm working on getting her clothed. Just make yourself at home." I knew he would. He always did.

Ben asked no questions, just got himself something to drink from the fridge, and took a seat in the living room. It's best to ask no questions around this place. Everyday a three ring circus around here since it had become Avery Party of 3. Ben was a smart man. He knew better than to ask anything.

I went back into Ayla's room and finished getting her dressed without too much difficulty. April went easy on me this time with the outfit. Some of them were just more complicated than I could handle. Give me simple. I thrived on simple.

"Rough morning?" Ben asked with a smile that told me he already knew the answer.

I placed Ayla in her swing, putting her paci in her mouth, and turned it on the setting she preferred. Of course the princess had a preference to how her swing operated. "I'm convinced April has an entire staff that comes over as soon as I am gone to work and leaves before I get home." There was no other way. I'd been at this for maybe an hour and I was ready to tap out. Bring the next shift in! Don't get me wrong, I loved this baby girl more than life itself, but damn I was exhausted.

"I say the same about Miranda," he replied. "Only Tuck is old enough to do for himself. That does help a lot."

"It is a plus," I confirmed. I had been in my seat about 2 minutes before Ayla decided she didn't want to swing anymore. Actually, 2 minutes is probably an exaggeration. I sighed, getting up and going to her. "I think it's just me. No way April's day goes the way my morning has." As soon as Ayla was in my arms she was once again happy as can be. "She manages to get everything done around here, never complains when I get in from work, I'd just love to know how she does it."

Ben just looked at me. Obviously I was missing the main point, but hell I was tired. "Uh because she's April, dude. Have you sat back and watched the woman run an ER?"

"Yes, but that's work," I replied. "Surely I'm not this impaired at work. Or if I am, someone needs to keep the scalpels away from me else we're going to have some malpractice shit to muddle through in the future."

"Dude, it's not an impairment." Poor Ben. Always looking on the bright side. "April just thrives in chaos. I can't handle it either, but the more the ER is like a madhouse, the better she gets! Cut yourself some slack. Plus she's a woman, they just handle babies better than we do."

Maybe he was right. Maybe my wife was just a trauma junkie that lived for mass chaos and impending doom...both in the work setting and at home. I loved her anyway. She could stop making all this look so damn easy though.

I continued holding Ayla as we got sucked into some game on TV. Wasn't long before I noticed some very tale tell signs that she was getting hungry. What should have held her over until April returned was probably a large part of what she spit up earlier. Great. Just great. "I hate to even speak this into the universe..."

"What?" Ben asked, looking alarmed.

"She's getting hungry." I watched as she started sucking on her fist. Next she'd start rooting her little head around trying to figure out where April was. She was going to be very disappointed when she reached that step in my arms. After that, she would be finished with reasonable and move right on to pissed off. You never wanted her to reach that point. "No way is she going to hold off until April gets back."

Ben looked confused. "Well can't you just feed her?"

"She's breastfed," I told him. Still, I was met with a look of utter confusion. "I don't have breasts." No need to mince words here.

"Do you have any to put in a bottle?" This was probably the most awkward conversation I'd ever have with my good friend Ben. We were both doctors, yes, but we were also both men and no man wants to sit around discussing his wife's breast milk.

"I do," I replied. "I'm not exactly sure the protocol on preparation though."

"Preparation?" Ben asked. "Can't you just put it in a bottle and give it to her?"

I shook my head, standing up with Ayla to go into the kitchen. "She told me all of this before she left. I should have written it down."

"Dude," Ben chastised. "You were given instructions that you don't remember? About your child? This ain't good, man. Not good." He worked wonders at making me feel better about the situation I was finding myself in. "I mean you wanna piss Miranda off, you just let me forget something concerning Tuck and..."

"Ben." I interrupted. "Not helping."

"Sorry," he replied. "I'm just telling you. Piss a Mama off and you've had it." As if I didn't know what levels of angry my wife could reach. She's tiny and she's sweet, but damn do NOT get on her bad side.

I was well aware. Very well aware. However, we both had medical degrees and performed operations on people daily. Surely we could figure out how to pour up and heat some breast milk. "I have it right here," I said as I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of milk. "I just don't remember where to heat it or for how long."

"Google has gotta know," Ben suggested. He immediately started punching on his phone while I walked an increasingly angry Ayla around. April had texted me a few times to check in. I had of course replied that things were going great. I couldn't possibly call her now and tell her I had totally spaced when she was explaining how to feed our child in her absence. No way.

I was walking in the living room, assuming Ben was still searching Google, when I heard him in there talking to someone. What the? "Ben, what the..."

He held his hand up to hush me as if he had the damn President on the other end of the line or something. "I'm going to put you on speaker, ok?" He placed his phone on the kitchen counter and activated the speaker function. "Ok, we're here!"

"What are you two doing to that baby?" Miranda Bailey. You have GOT to be kidding me. If I hadn't been holding Ayla, I would have punched him in the head. He might be one of my closest friends, but he broke every bro code known to man by calling her and letting her in on our, well...my problem.

"I'm going to kick your ass," I mouthed to him. I meant it. Every word of it. "Hey Bailey," I finally spoke. "Jackson here. Look, I've got Ayla here by myself while April is out doing a few things. She's hungry and I don't exactly remember how to heat milk up for her."

"I know she told you word for word what to do, Jackson Avery." She replied. Bailey pretty much knew everything. We rarely got anything by her. Before I could say another word, Ayla started crying. Prior to hearing Bailey on the phone, I swear she had been perfectly content in my arms. Our walking had calmed her down and bought me enough time to figure this situation out. I swear she heard Bailey on the phone and decided to put on a good show for her. Women.

"Is that sweet baby girl crying?!" Bailey asked.

"No," I replied. I wasn't giving anything away about our situation over here. Ben had crossed enemy lines, but I wasn't about to. "So heating milk up?"

"You want to swirl the milk around in the bottle," she instructed. "If it has been in the fridge, you want to mix all parts of the milk back together. Do not shake it. You never shake breast milk." I went to hand Ben the bottle so he could follow Bailey's instructions while I attempted to pacify Ayla. He stepped back as if I had tossed a damn King Cobra in his direction. Shaking my head, I handed Ayla toward him instead. She came from April too, but I guess she freaked him out less than breast milk.

"Ok," I replied to Bailey. "I did the swirling thing. Now what?"

"Run the bottle under warm tap water," she told me. "Move it around so all parts of the milk is heated. Or you can put it down in a cup filled with warm water. Make sure you get it warm or she won't take it. She's used to her milk being the temperature of April's body." Well I'd do my best to get it close enough, but I wasn't a miracle worker here.

"That ain't even what Google said," Ben mumbled to himself.

"Benjamin Warren!" He'd done it now. This was all him. I had the information I needed. I proceeded to do as she told me while she rambled to him about knowing more than Google ever would. He called her. His funeral.

After what seemed like an eternity, I felt the milk was finally warm enough. I poured it from the storage bottle into one of the bottles April had cleaned and put out on the counter for her. I had no idea how this was going to go, but there was only one way to find out. I took Ayla from Ben, who had finally managed to get off the phone with Bailey. "Ok Princess, I'm sorry it took me way longer than it would Mommy, but that is just how it is." No need in giving her false hope. April was always going to be better at this type stuff. My strengths would show up later on down the road.

Ben and I made it back to the living room, both of us looking like we'd ran a marathon. And lost. Definitely lost. I held Ayla and slowly put the nipple of the bottle to her little mouth. She liked her paci, so I was really hoping she'd accept this. I managed to get some of the milk to come out onto her lips. Once she realized what it was, she opened up and started sucking like she had done it a hundred times before. "Ayla, I promise to buy you whatever car you want when you turn 16 for cooperating with me here! Whatever you want, baby girl."

Ben laughed. "You're married to April, dude. You want to feel real fear? Piss Miranda Bailey off like I just did."

He was not getting one up on me. Not in this matter. "She could whip my ass all over this place. I don't know why you think she is so sweet and innocent!"

"Oh I never said she was innocent," Ben replied. "She is sweet, though. You cannot tell me April Kepner isn't the sweetest person you've ever met in your life."

He was clearly deranged. Bailey had threatened him and he was losing it where he sat across my living room. "April is sweet, yes. She is very sweet. She is a very sweet, loving, incredibly giving person. She's also tough as damn nails and you don't want to get in her way when she makes her mind up about something. You've lost before you even started."

Yes, we were really sitting in my living room arguing over who had the scariest wife. It was clear who ruled the roosts we lived in. Not us.

I watched as Ayla continued to drink from her bottle. She furrowed her little brow a couple times, almost like she was thinking about protesting the difference, but she never followed through. I had to admit it was pretty cool to finally get to feed her. I'd have to see if April would allow me one feeding a day. I could pass it off as helping her out, but really I just thought it was cool to be able to feed her. "Ok, Ayla..." I whispered, leaning down to kiss her tiny forehead. "Whatever car you want at 16 and we'll never speak of this morning to Mommy ever, deal?"

* * *

April made it back home not long after Ayla finished her bottle, so we had managed to avoid her walking into any drama. Ben stayed around for a bit once she was home to visit with both of us and then he made his exit. My original plan was to pretend everything had gone amazing in her absence. I mean, I didn't want her thinking she couldn't have any time to herself.

As the day went on and I saw how well she handled things, I had to come clean. About everything. I unloaded on her about every disaster that I'd encountered that morning while she was away. To my surprise, she smiled and gave me a look that told me I had been initiated into some special club.

Turns out, April gets things done around the house during the day because she puts a baby sling on and wears Ayla around. Apparently, as long as you carry this one around like she's a kangaroo or something, you can get anything accomplished. That made me feel better.

She also admitted she managed to get a bath in peace only because she puts Ayla in the tub with her. Well, I wouldn't be going that far, but at least the four alarm fit I witnessed while in the shower was somewhat normal. She only got a shower when Ayla napped.

I really had no excuse for not listening to her instructions on heating Ayla's milk, but she did say from now on she would write any instructions out and leave them on the fridge. After our talk, I just might give the whole hanging with baby while Mommy is away thing another chance...eventually.

Bedtime had finally arrived. Our favorite time of the entire day. We had read Ayla her bedtime story _we were trying to start some routines, seemed like a nice one_ and had her lying between us in our bed. She was still wide awake, but that was fine, we could literally watch her for hours.

Ayla had a grip on my finger and was mesmerized when I moved it around which moved her little hand too. She'd figured out those things moved under her control and she worked hard at it. "So you weren't freaked out today?" I asked April. "My first solo experience..."

April rolled her eyes, "Jackson, no! Why would I have been freaked out?"

"Maybe because I don't have the slightest clue about some of these things," I replied. I mean she had to admit, if she had been listening to my daily recap, I was a little rusty. "Things that come naturally to you, never click in my brain."

"You are the best Daddy she could possibly have," she replied honestly. "I don't know everything either. I've had plenty of stressful days here that I just didn't tell you about. We're both learning here and that's not going to change anytime soon." She did have a point. She always had a point. That is the thing about us. I talked her down. She talked me down. We just worked that way. We always had.

I watched as Ayla listened intently to April talking to her. It was amazing to me that she had known April's voice from the minute she entered the world. I could tell she recognized mine for sure now, but she knew April was her Mom from minute one. I had been fortunate enough to see April through many roles in her life. Her role as Ayla's Mother was absolutely the most amazing. I often found myself simply watching them interact with one another. Even at Ayla's young age there was such a clear bond between them.

That didn't mean I wouldn't keep lobbying hard to have a Daddy's Girl eventually.

We continued talking to her and interacting, doing our best to wear her out so she would allow us a couple hours sleep. She continued to watch April's every word and expression as she held her between us. I'd tried a few times to get her attention with no such luck. I loved my wife, but she was monopolizing Ayla's time tonight.

"Ok," I said, taking Ayla from April and holding her in my arms. "Mommy can't have all your time. It's not fair. You have to save some of your cuteness for Daddy." Yep, I was talking to her just like the rest of the obsessed parents out there talk to their babies. When you witness it, you swear it'll never be you, and then here you are.

I leaned toward her and kissed her cheek, "You can't let Mommy get all your kisses either. Cause I know she will. She doesn't like sharing you." The most perfect little grin spread across her face almost like she was responding to my accusation. I thought she had my heart before, but when I saw that little grin, I just fell further and further...

"Jackson, she smiled!" April said excitedly. "She smiled!" It was obvious to me by my wife's reaction that I had gotten the first official responsive smile. "You got the first smile," she said as she playfully popped my shoulder. "I carried her for 9 months, was in labor for hours, and you got the first smile!"

I laughed, "She knows who is wrapped around her finger. Don't you, baby girl?" She looked concerned at the commotion going on around her, but was still watching us peacefully.

April gave her a kiss. "That's ok, sweet girl. Your Daddy is a charmer. I used to have the same reaction when he talked to me too."

"You still have that reaction when I talk to you," I joked.

"Yeahhhhh," she laughed. "No, I don't." I could make her blush right now if I wanted. I knew exactly what to say and how to look at her. She was not immune to my charm. We'd been together a while, but I still had it.

Leaning in her direction, I gave her a kiss. "Hey," I said. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I got the first smile." I laughed as she sighed dramatically and pushed me away from her. She could pretend to be offended by the milestone, but I knew better. I wasn't sure my head would fit in the building the next morning when I went to work. I had to admit, it was pretty puffed up at the moment. When you've hung out on the sidelines during pregnancy, birth, and even in the first few weeks of their newborn life...it felt pretty damn amazing to know that she absolutely knew who I was. April could try, but that smile was a reserved for Daddy only smile.

Daddy's Girl. It's happening.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I had to write April's sisters in my own way. Didn't have a lot of reference to go on.**

 **Enjoy! Review if you wish!**

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The eve of the dreaded event was here. Tomorrow, barring any miracles, the Kepner sisters would touch down in Seattle for a visit. I'm sure some of you think I'm being ridiculous or that I'm exaggerating. If you do, then you'd be wrong. Way wrong. I wish I could adequately describe my sisters-in-law, but words fail me.

Goes without saying that April and I came from two different backgrounds. We were raised with different beliefs and ideals. Our examples of family were vastly different. I'm not saying that fact has never caused any issues between us, but I can say that despite all that, our love and respect for one another conquered any differences we had. It had taken some effort on our part and a lot of practice, but we had figured it out.

Her sisters? Well, different equaled wrong. Simple as.

Those three pretty much had identical lives. Or well, identical as far as I could see. None of them did anything that was unexpected. They all conformed to exactly what they'd been raised to believe was right. Don't get me wrong, I respect April's parents and obviously credit them for raising my brilliant wife, but it also goes without saying that April was the oddity in the bunch. The black sheep, if you will. NOT the odd duck. Do not go there with the duck thing. Ever.

Due to that fact, April had been misunderstood by her sisters. She dared to break the mold, so clearly she had gone astray. Things were better now than they had been when I first met these women, but visits were always strained. It goes without saying I'm protective of my wife. Things she lets roll off her back usually infuriate me. To me, April was the best person. Period. She was the kindest, sweetest, smartest, most loving, giving person that I had ever known. She absolutely made me a better person. I doubt there will ever come a day where I don't question what exactly I did right to have her in my life. So it's not hard to imagine that I'm a bit defensive when it comes to her.

Tonight, though, putting all that to the side. Nothing I can do about it, so no need in thinking about it. Like a bad storm, they were coming, and all I could do was batten down the hatches and hope we made it through their visit with minimal family drama. Key word minimal. There would absolutely be drama.

Tonight we were going out. Leaving the apartment. Fit for public consumption and sans baby. It had been a really long time. I loved Ayla with every fiber of my being, but I just needed one meal without at least ten interruptions brought to us by the princess herself. Since her birth, I'm pretty sure we'd not eaten a hot meal. Or chewed our food. I'm sure it's a rookie adjustment, but an uninterrupted meal was the grandest thing I could imagine.

As we had suspected ever since Ayla arrived, it took no convincing at all to find a couple babysitters. When asked, my Mother and Richard acted as if I'd offered them front row seats to their favorite artist of all time in concert – dead or alive. Their pick. Catherine Webber didn't get excited about very much unless it was of her own discovery or doing. That was just my Mom. Ayla, though, well she had somehow managed to tame the old bird. I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to enjoy it.

I was currently walking Ayla around the apartment. It was her witching hour. Her time of day when we experienced what I liked to call baby sundowner's. A very real thing. April found it to be a disrespectful description of Ayla's evening meltdown, but if you've ever worked with the mentally confused elderly...you feel me. The sweetest people you'd ever imagine during the day, but the closer to evening it got...watch the hell out. Sundowner's. An actual medical term. It wasn't just the elderly. Our 6 week old made no apologies for how she felt about life for this brief period of time every evening.

Walking her around was about all that worked. She liked to walk and have you gently bounce her. A move I had perfected. Hey, we did this every evening. She wanted April. The end. By that time of day, my poor wife needed a break. Also, if we're being perfectly honest here, I wanted dinner, which didn't happen if April had Ayla attached to her all afternoon. With that said, I did my best to get home from work before all this started. Long as April was out of sight and not heard, Ayla remained calm. If she knew April was around, she wanted the boob. _At this point, yes, I spoke of it as if it were it's own entity._ I knew she wasn't hungry, having just been fed, so I'd sent April to our room to get dressed and I stayed away walking and bouncing.

"Quick couple things, Ayla," I started off. "I know you are going to behave for Honey and Chief tonight. If not, at least wait until you feel we've had enough time to get through most of our dinner, ok?" She smiled at me as I talked to her. Our Pediatrician had told us she was a very social baby. Are you surprised? Daughter of April Kepner Avery? Yeah, she's going to be one to interact and contribute best she could to conversation. I couldn't help but smile back at her and laugh. Pretty sure that was a _"What are you on, Daddy?"_ grin. _"Me? Behave?"_ Yeah, I could read that little mind.

I heard a knock on the door and quickly went to open it. Mom and Richard could have honestly cared less that I was standing in front of them. Pretty sure they never even saw me. A perfect stranger could have been holding this baby and they would have never noticed. "Hello my angel," Mom greeted her. "How are you today, precious?!"

"I'm good," I replied. I never could resist when it came to aggravating her.

Mom rolled her eyes as she walked past me. "Ayla, your Daddy has jokes." I noticed then she was carrying two shopping bags that looked to be mostly full. Before I could ask Richard must have noticed that I spotted them.

"Your Mother has been shopping," he explained. You could always count on Richard to state the obvious.

"I can see that," I replied giving him a look that let him know I was on his page. We both knew she was out of control. Nothing we could do about it, but we knew.

"Oh I just bought her a few clothes," she insisted. I knew how big baby clothes were in comparison to those bags. She'd either bought clothes Ayla couldn't wear until she was a teenager or she was lowballing the amount of clothes she had purchased. With Mom, it was most definitely the latter. "I couldn't resist, Jackson. I get to do that. Now hand her over."

I passed Ayla to Mom, knowing good and well between the two of them she wouldn't be put down the rest of the evening. Spoiled? Ayla? No way. "You know it's her witching hour, so you have to walk and bounce."

"Well I think I can handle that," Mom replied. Ayla gave her about 15 seconds before she frowned up and started getting ready to cut loose with her fit. "Ok, Miss Priss, we're moving! Honey is moving!" Soon as Mom started walking, all was cool again. I do know what I am talking about.

Richard, of course, was hovering. Walking right behind Mom. Those two hardly said an angry word to one another until they got around Ayla. They literally bickered about who could hold her. "I'll give her to you in a bit," Mom snapped at him. They could fight all evening for all I cared, long as I got a hot meal out of the deal.

I saw April coming out of our bedroom finally. Why did she have to wear THAT dress? I mean at this point, I'd get turned on seeing her in a garbage bag, but really? Goes without saying it had been a while. Which I am not complaining, I do understand. Really, I do. She had to recover from birth and she's had Ayla attached to her for the past 6 weeks. Not to mention in the week or two before Ayla's birth, we were back to marathon status. April had read sex could jump start labor and that is all she needed to know. I was more than happy to help her out with her research. Turns out, it didn't work, but you won't hear me complaining. It was worth a shot. Now? Sex was the last thing on her mind. In her defense, I probably couldn't stay awake these days for it to even happen anyway. It's just, did she have to wear that damn dress? Something told me she wouldn't go along with ditching dinner and parking somewhere.

All that is off the record, of course. I'm a gentleman. I don't kiss and tell.

"April, you look lovely, dear!" Mom greeted her. "Jackson, you may want to pick your jaw up off the floor." Mom would never stop trying to embarrass me. Even in front of my wife. I had the girl! She clearly knew how I felt! Still, Mom had to be weird.

"You look beautiful," I said to her.

"Thank you," she said. She never was one for compliments, but she'd gotten better than she was when we first met.

"Thank you both so much for watching her," April started in. As if this was in any way a hardship on them. They'd been begging for weeks for a babysitting gig. "Did Jackson go over everything with you?"

Shit.

Knew I had forgotten something.

"No, I didn't. I'm sorry," I apologized. She had told me to relay the instructions when they arrived to save time, but you know, memory of a gnat here.

"I fed her about an hour ago, so she'll probably be hungry before we get back," April explained. "I have milk already in her bottle in the fridge. All you have to do is heat it, which instructions for that are on the fridge."

Mom was listening intently. Which that never happens. Usually she's too busy thinking up how she is going to respond. I guess she knew, Mother to Mother, she'd better listen. "Will she take it all?"

"Depends," April replied. "You'll know when she is full. Diapers and wipes are in her room, I put a few extra outfits on her changing table if she needs her clothes changed." You had to let her do this. Otherwise, she could not leave and be calm about it. "Oh! She normally goes down after the feeding that you will most likely have to do, so when that happens just put her in her sleepsack and in the bassinet in our room." Mom hadn't had a baby in 34 years, she didn't know what the hell April was talking about.

"Sleepsack is actually in her bassinet," I added. "You just put her in it and zip it up. She's not going to stay asleep if she's not swaddled." Trust me on that. Truth be told, she probably wasn't going to sleep in the bassinet no matter what you wrapped her in. She either slept on my chest or snuggled up to April in her arms, but that was for us to know and them to find out. "And on her back to sleep," I added.

"I know to put her on her back, Jackson. I'm not that unfamiliar with the times." Mom replied. I knew she had it in her, she just wouldn't unleash it on April.

I grabbed my keys, knowing it'd take all of us to get April out the door. "You ready, babe?"

"Yeah," she replied. Mom walked to her so she could say her goodbyes. How did women just know that stuff? "Bye sweet girl," April said to her giving her a kiss. "Mommy loves you so much!" Ayla lit up the moment April started talking to her and replied with a little coo. Oh yes, we were beginning to coo now. I got them sometimes, but April almost always got her to do it. I guess those two had lots to discuss. Girl talk.

"You two go," Mom insisted. "We'll be just fine!"

"You have the number of the restaurant we are going to?" April asked.

"We do, dear." Mom smiled. "Don't worry, we can get in touch with the two of you with no problem and we will if needed."

"Everything will be fine," Richard added.

We were finally moving toward the door. Every step was progress. I remembered how it was leaving Ayla for the first time, and this was the first time we'd left her with someone other than one of us. So I absolutely understood April and was trying to be sensitive. Still, I was hungry and I knew a hot meal was calling my name. "We'll be home right after dinner," I told them.

"Take your time," Richard smiled. "We'll just be here spoiling this girl."

I knew that was without a shadow of a doubt true. Between all of us, and yes I included myself in this, Ayla didn't stand a chance.

I finally managed to get April out the door and downstairs to the car. I did my best to be supportive, holding her hand as I drove to the restaurant. I knew how it felt. Before Ayla, it seemed like the whole world was beyond home. We looked forward to running out the door and onto the next great thing, usually in our careers. Now? Well the whole world was exactly where our baby girl was located.

"One of my favorite places," April smiled as we arrived at our destination.

"I know," I replied. I came to a stop, we got out, and I handed the keys to the valet. I thought better of trying somewhere new on our first trip away from Ayla together. It was best sticking to one of her favorites. I held the door open for her as she walked past me. It was crowded for a week night, so I was thankful I'd called ahead. "Reservation for Avery," I told the hostess.

We followed her through the restaurant and to our table where we were finally seated. I saw April pull her cell out of her purse to check it and I smiled. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be distracted. It's just hard leaving her. The other time I left her with you. Not that I don't trust your Mom..."

"I understand completely," I told her. I really did. My first week or so back to work was brutal. It was much easier now, I was back into a routine, but it was difficult at first. Truth told, I was already missing the little bug and we had only been gone a half hour tops. Funny how things change.

"Hey guys!" We heard as we were looking at menus. We looked up to see Owen and Amelia standing at our table, obviously finished with their dinner and heading out. Owen was a hard one to get to know, but he had a soft spot for April. Always had.

"My God I've missed you," Owen laughed as April stood and he gave her a hug. "You have no idea how much better things run with you around, Kepner. I am not just saying that."

"He's not," Amelia smiled. "I know you aren't looking forward to maternity leave ending, but I selfishly am just for the fact that my husband here will be in a better mood. Also, you look fabulous, by the way."

April smiled, but I could read between the lines, something about that bothered her. "You're too kind. And I don't believe that," April replied. "You keep the ER running just as smoothly as I do." She was being modest, really. We all knew it. Now I liked Owen as much as the next guy, but not a doctor in that ER was as organized as my wife.

"You have to bring Ayla for a visit," Amelia insisted. "We see pictures from Jackson on a daily basis, but it's not the same. So, please!"

April laughed, "I'll see what I can do."

We exchanged a bit of small talk and then they were on their way. "You know we never go anywhere without seeing someone we know," I observed.

"I know, right?" April replied. Something was bothering her. I knew it.

"Hey," I said, reaching across the table to take her hand. "What's the matter?" I thought it might be seeing people from work. A reminder that her time home with Ayla would be coming to an end eventually. Or it could have been leaving her with someone other than one of us finally coming to a head. What I wasn't expecting was for April, who normally did her best to sugar coat or at least offer the softest delivery possible, to just cut right to the chase.

"I don't want to go back to work," she said matter-of-factly.

I didn't say anything for a few minutes. Or maybe seconds. It felt like minutes, though. I honestly didn't know what to say. Of all the possibilities I thought might come out of her mouth, this was not one of them. I knew I had to navigate through this carefully. "You don't want to go back to work." Wasn't a question, I'd heard her loud and clear.

"Not like before," she replied. "I know I shouldn't throw this on you now. We're out to have a nice evening. It's just seeing Owen makes me feel so guilty." Now that was April. Always worrying about how something might affect another person. "He's kept me updated with weekly emails about work and he's so excited to have me back once my leave is over. I know he means well, and that he doesn't begrudge me this time with her..."

She was rambling. A sure sign she was getting worked up. "So when you say not like before, what exactly does that mean?" It was a little more complicated than just giving your notice at most jobs. She was a Trauma Surgeon that had completed a Fellowship and had a lot of qualifications under her belt despite her young age. She had accomplished a lot early on in her career. Surgeons like her don't come along everyday. As Chairman of the Board, I knew it would most likely be a futile search trying to find a replacement that offered as much to Grey-Sloan as April did.

"Full time," she replied. "I just...I have thought a lot about it these past couple weeks and I just don't think I can." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I did not want this to get to that level. Not at all. "I know it's going to make a lot of people mad, and cause a lot of problems and money, but..."

She was right. It was going to cause issues. I don't think anger was the right word. I don't think anyone would honestly be angry with her. Put out? Inconvenienced? Maybe. Most of our co-workers had children and kept a full load, so I couldn't say anyone would understand, but I did not think they'd be angry with her. Not that it mattered if they were. I took her hand, deciding this was a transition we'd just have to go through together, "No one is going to be mad at you. If this is what you really want then we'll figure it out..."

Fortunately, she was an Avery. Hey, I had to call a spade a spade. If another surgeon came to us with this plan, we'd probably choose not to renew their contract when it came up. Deciding it was more cost effective to replace them with a surgeon that would simply work their hours. Not keep them on and hire someone else. However, April pretty much had the advantage of doing whatever she wanted. Nobody was honestly going to touch her. I don't like throwing those facts around, and it is nothing I would point out to her, but they are facts.

Point is, my family did put a lot of money up to keep the hospital going. We put a lot of money in it everyday. April is my wife and the Mother of the Avery that is going to control part or all of our Foundation one day. If she wanted to be home with our child, then there wasn't much anyone would be able to say. Did I look forward to that Board meeting? No. But at least I didn't have to worry about the outcome.

"I don't want to quit completely," she explained. "I am fine working when you can watch her or even your Mom..." She didn't want to put her in daycare. That I had known all along, so I really couldn't act shocked. "A shift a week to start with. Maybe work up to two a week. I just don't want to have to tell Owen this. He is so ready for me to get back."

I nodded. He was, no denying that. "Listen, we will work it out. I can absolutely devote my off day during the week to keeping her if you want to work. You know Mom will be on board when she is available. It will work out." I was going to remain positive to her and deal with the meltdowns I knew were coming from the Board in my own time.

"I know I've worked really hard to get where I am," she said. "I get that. I also know if I wanted to jump back in completely that I wouldn't be a bad Mom for doing so. Surgery is my passion, it really is, it's just not my first love anymore..."

I understood that. "I know. She is," I smiled.

"Jackson, you have no idea how much I love my days with her. I don't mean to act as if you don't enjoy your time with her." I knew that. No need to explain. I loved Ayla, but I needed work. Since becoming a Father, I had the utmost respect for parents that didn't work outside the home. It is not for everyone. I never really thought it would be for my wife, but life is full of surprises. "It's just, I can't imagine taking her to daycare everyday. The older she gets the more she interacts and seeing that and being with her is better than any day in the OR I could ever have. I'm only going to have this time with her once."

She really didn't have to explain, but I did appreciate her being honest about her feelings. "You don't have to sell it to me," I said honestly. "If you want to stay home with her, then that is what I want you to do. If you want to stay on at work in a very limited basis, we'll make that work. If you don't even want to do that, we will also make that work."

"I do want to work some," she replied. "I don't want to lose my skills and I do need to keep that part of myself. I just need it to take a backseat right now. And I need to know that while I am living that part of myself that she is being cared for by someone that loves her as much as I do. I never expected to feel that way, but then she was here and..."

"Everything changed," I finished for her. It really had. Becoming parents had changed both of us and if I dared to say so, in positive ways. "We will make it work. We do need to go ahead and get everything in order so we can have the conversation with the Board. Or I can, I mean. We really can't wait 6 more weeks to throw it on them. Also, this is a conversation Owen deserves to hear from you and before anyone else."

"I understand," she replied. " If Owen can't handle it after my leave ends and before a replacement arrives, then I will come back until that is squared away. My Mom would come stay with us to keep her if we were both working full time for a bit."

Oh shit no.

Now I smiled lovingly at my wife as I said those words to myself, but no way on earth. No way. I would force my Mom into early retirement before I had Karen move in with us to keep Ayla until April finished working. This wasn't going to be a Board meeting. This was going to be me talking and everyone listening. A "This is what's up..." kind of thing. I knew April was adamant about not sending her to daycare, but I was just as adamant about not living with my Mother-in-law for however long.

Owen Hunt could just grow a pair and operate without my wife at his side.

* * *

I heard the commotion before I even entered the apartment. The distinct voices of my sisters-in-law and my Mother-in-law. Oh yes, you read that right. My Mother-in-law. In what was supposed to be a grand surprise, Karen had decided at the last minute to join the trifecta on their visit out to Seattle. To add to that grand surprise, there was another surprise tacked on, and that was that Karen was staying with us rather than at the hotel with April's sisters. If my week gets any better, I am going to need some help enjoying it. This whole thing is just too much fun for one guy.

Don't get me wrong, I do have a place for Karen in my cold, dead heart. The heart that would rather keep his in-laws in Ohio and my family here in Washington. I would never be able to thank her enough for all the help she had given us during Ayla's birth and immediately after...it's not that I had forgotten that or would forget it. It was just that April's sisters were bad enough and then we had to add Mother Kepner to the mix.

I carefully entered my own home, having no idea what to expect. You never did with this group. Fortunately, as soon as April knew her Mom had tagged along, she called me at work to give me fair warning and to swear to me that she had no idea. I believed her. April and I, surprisingly, were usually on the same page when it came to our families. I found them all gathered in our living room babbling nonstop about something or another and rarely pausing to take a breath.

Also, it was A LOT of red hair to take in. Overwhelming, really.

"Hey, guys..." I said carefully. Before I had time to react, the shrill sounds of excitement burst forth along with a round of hugs. I made eye contact with April, who was sitting on the couch nursing Ayla. One look at her told me that she was just as overwhelmed as I was.

Our living room looked like a disaster area, which is not how April kept the place. Apparently, her sisters had taken it upon themselves to look through all of Ayla's clothes _because they were just so cute._ Literally, baby clothes everywhere. These women acted as if they'd never been around a baby before.

"Jackson!" Karen greeted as she gave me a hug. "So glad you're home! We put your dinner in the fridge. Do you want me to heat it?" This was typical Karen. Always trying to feed everyone. Didn't matter the occasion, time of day, when you had last eaten, etc. Karen was always armed and ready with a plate of food.

"I'll grab it in a bit, thank you!" I replied.

I went to see my girls next. The only two in the room I desperately needed to see. "And how are you two?" I asked, leaning down to kiss April.

"We're good," April smiled. "She didn't have her afternoon nap, so she's been pretty fussy." Didn't take a genius to figure out why she hadn't been able to get her usual nap. A brass band playing in our living room couldn't be any louder than this crew.

I gave Ayla a kiss, getting no response from her as she continued eating. When she was cranky, she didn't want anyone but April.

"April, I will order you that book I was talking about," Kimmie said. "The one about getting babies on a schedule. I'm a firm believer. I had the boys on a schedule when they were a few weeks old." Kimmie. Need I say any more? Prime example of why I felt the way I did about her right there.

"Kimmie, I told you I don't need a book," April replied. I could tell she was annoyed. Completely understandable, seeing as how Kimmie was clearly no expert on parenting. "I don't try to get Ayla on a schedule. I just go with whatever she needs on any given day."

"Well you'll never get anything done at that rate," Kimmie replied.

April chose not to respond to that comment and it was just as well. Responding to anything Kimmie said only led to a fight.

"Well you have time to get things straightened out," Libby added. "You have how many more weeks off work? Six?"

We had officially decided that April wasn't going to go back to work full time. That meeting was still ahead of me, but there had been a noticeable difference in April since we had discussed everything and came to a decision. That is really all that mattered. The Board could implode, but as long as my wife was happy, I'd deal with everything else.

"I'm actually not going back full time," April informed them. You'd think that would be well received by these three considering one was trying to push a parenting book on her. Wasn't staying at home with your children what _those_ kind of books promoted? Maybe not. I really didn't know.

Alice looked confused. "Not going back? Since when?"

"It's what I want," April replied. "I want to spend more time with her while she's small and as she gets older and into more activities then I will pick up more hours at work. Jackson and I have discussed it, everything will work out, so that's just the best decision for us." Maybe I was biased since it was what April wanted, but it made sense to me. Of course, she would be made to feel like she had to defend herself. Her family...

"Must be nice!" Kimmie sarcastically laughed. "Of course I guess I could have done the same if I had married a millionaire." She always did this shit. Slung insults wherever she wanted and tried to disguise them behind a fake laugh. Did I mention before that she was my least favorite one? Well, she is.

"I think it's a good thing," Libby added. "If you can afford it, then good for you!"

"I just think about ALL that schooling. Undergrad, medical school, going through residency and to what? Give it up after a few years? Mom and Dad spent more on your education than all of ours combined!" Kimmie was on a roll and it wasn't going to stop until a screaming match took place. Mark my words.

April rolled her eyes. "Seeing as how none of that is ANY of your business..." Nor did she know what she was talking about. April had paid for most of her education with student loans. None of it had been on Joe and Karen. Of course, I wouldn't disrespect any of them enough to point that out.

"I'm just saying," Kimmie shot back.

Ayla started crying, coming unlatched from the breast. No doubt able to sense the tension in the room and in April. I knew April was exhausted and that her family being here all day had thrown Ayla for a loop. She was cranky and unlikely to settle anytime soon. Before I could offer to take her, Karen was across the room holding her arms out, "Let Nana have her! Come here, sweet girl!"

"Mom..." Before April could even finish what she was saying Karen had already scooped her up and was walking around the living room with her. She'd done it now. Big mistake. Ayla immediately went from a slightly fussy cry to a full on four alarm meltdown cry. The kind of cry where you are pretty sure they hold their breath somewhere in between all the screaming.

I didn't know where to go first. April was sitting on the couch with her head resting in her hands and Ayla was screaming at the top of her lungs.

"See," Kimmie started in once again. "If you'd just get her on a schedule. She'd go to sleep in her crib at a decent hour..."

"OH MY GOD!" April yelled. "PLEASE, for just ONCE in your life would you shut up and stop trying to tell me how to live mine?" I knew it was coming. It had been building ever since I got home.

"Girls..." Karen scolded over Ayla's screaming. Libby and Alice sat in complete silence. This was usually the positions they took in Kepner Family Showdowns.

"All I am doing is giving you some advice, April." Kimmie replied. "I mean I have raised three children..."

"Yeah," April said getting up from her place on the couch. She was so mad she could hardly form thought. Didn't know if Kimmie had gotten that yet, but I could see it coming. "Mom, give me my baby."

"April," Karen said. "She's fine..." Still screaming her head off, but ok, Karen. Whatever you say.

"Mom." Karen apparently understood that tone because she handed Ayla over. I watched as April cradled her and whispered softly to her. She instantly started to calm down. When she got that worked up, Mommy was just about all that worked.

"She's clearly tired," Kimmie threw in. She really was a glutton for punishment.

April had enough. I saw it on her face before she opened her mouth. "You know what, Kimmie? I'll parent my child how I want and you can parent your children how you want. I've never criticized your choices even though now that I'm a Mother I absolutely could!"

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Kimmie asked.

"April, Kimmie..." Karen tried again. It was pointless. Don't even know why she was trying.

"When you talk about putting the boys in bed at a certain time at night, cutting the lights out, and letting them cry until they settle and fall asleep," April started. "That breaks my heart. I cannot imagine putting her in her room and listening to her cry. However, that is YOUR choice and this is mine. We don't have to agree, but we should respect one another."

"Come talk to me about running at her every whimper when you've been doing it for a few years! I cannot imagine jumping at every noise. I'd never get anything done," Kimmie replied. Always an asshole. Pretty sure she'd been born that way.

"And I cannot imagine allowing her to lie in her bed crying, waiting for us to come and having to realize Mommy and Daddy aren't showing up. A baby shouldn't have to figure out how to calm itself down!" April replied. Prior to having Ayla, I had no idea there were different parenting styles. Well there were. My wife was as far on one end as Kimmie was on the other. Neither wrong, per se, but hell you never wanted to get women of different views in a sparring match. Yeah, April might have Ayla in her arms 23 out of 24 hours a day, she might sleep in our bed, and she might never have to know what it was like to wait 2 seconds before her cry was answered...but that worked for us. It clearly worked for Ayla, so what was the big deal.

"You've been a Mom for six weeks, April." Kimmie said hatefully. Totally trying to discredit any opinion April had.

Well that did it. I'd had enough.

"That's enough," I finally said. I'm almost certain they'd all forgotten I was even in the room from the five heads that turned in my direction upon saying that. "How April and I choose to parent Ayla is our business. How you choose to parent your kids is your business. How about we just keep the suggestions to ourselves and do our best to get along." That was as diplomatic as I could be when dealing with her family.

April went into our bedroom with Ayla without saying a word. I knew she was upset, but she was also tired and that only made it worse. Once she'd had some sleep she would see this whole disagreement in a different light.

I stopped Karen as she started toward the bedroom. "Just give her a minute..."

Karen nodded and took a seat on the couch. "I don't know why you all can't just get along. I will never understand it. We live so far apart and when we see one another all some of you do is argue..."

"Hey," Alice said quickly. "I haven't said a word. We were having a great day until Kimmie over there started acting like she was Dr. Spock!"

"I did no such thing," Kimmie shouted back.

"You were out of line, Kimmie." Libby was my favorite and typically the voice of reason. I think it must have come with being the eldest of four girls. Someone has to referee arguments. "Ayla is clearly a happy, healthy baby so you had no right to criticize anything April and Jackson do with her. They've never said a word about your parenting. It was also out of line to say something about April's career choices. If you wanted to stay home with the boys, you could have made sacrifices and done so. We came out here to see our new baby niece, which is a happy time, and I am pretty sure after all this they're counting down the hours until we leave."

She would be correct, but I would never say so.

Kimmie actually looked like she felt a little bad. Not much, but anything is something. "You're right. I should go apologize..."

"Nope!" I said, stopping her before she even took a step in the direction of our bedroom. "April's exhausted. I think the best thing for everyone is to just call it a night and start fresh in the morning. I think any talk you two have will be much more productive then."

"He's right," Libby agreed. "I think we just need to go back to the hotel, get some rest, and start fresh in the morning."

Music to my ears. I'd been around them no time and I was ready to end it. I couldn't imagine April dealing with them all day long or Ayla who had no idea what was going on. The trifecta gathered their belongings and headed out while Karen and I attempted to clean up the disaster they'd left in their wake. I wasn't entirely sure what was on the agenda for the next day, but I was going to try to make an earlier day of it so April wouldn't have to deal with everyone by herself.

Or I could send Mom to hang out. Now there was someone Kimmie could fight with.

"I just don't understand why those girls always have to bicker," Karen said. She was helping fold baby clothes and put them back in a basket while I put all of April's damn throw pillows back on the couch. "Especially Kimmie and April. They have always been the two who fought the most and I'll never understand it. I apologize about all of this, Jackson. I know it isn't what you wanted to come home to."

"No," I agreed. "It wasn't."

"April is such a wonderful Mother," Karen continued on. "I am so proud of her. I know she does things a bit different from what we are used to, but Ayla is the happiest little baby..."

"Except when you upset her Mom," I added. I was trying to be nice as possible. After all, this woman was going to be living under the same roof as me for the next few days. "And yes, April is a wonderful Mother. An amazing Mother, actually. I know everyone was tired tonight, but that isn't going to happen again. You know I am always happy to have you guys out to visit, but not at the expense of April and Ayla."

"Jackson, I completely agree," Karen said.

"I didn't grow up in a big family," I didn't really know why I was about to tell her all this, but I was on a roll here. "It's pretty much my Mom and I. Or was, before April. Occasionally my Grandfather. Now my Stepfather. Anyway, point is, you guys have a big family which I think is a really cool thing for Ayla. I think it is cool that she will have a big family to grow up in that I didn't have. However, not if it means there is constant fighting. April was more stressed out when I came in tonight than I have seen her in a really long time and it's my job as her husband to do my best to keep that from happening."

Karen started crying. Oh hell. I wasn't even rude! Damn hysterical women. My thoughts were interrupted when she suddenly hugged me. "You're a good man, Jackson. Thank you for loving my daughter like you do. I don't worry about her near as much as I worry about her sisters and she's over 2,000 miles away. Joe and I think a lot of you. I just want you to know that."

"That means a lot," I smiled. "Thank you." It really did. I'd spent the first part of our marriage convinced they believed I was the devil incarnate sent to Earth to swoop their daughter off to eternal damnation. I was glad to see I'd risen a couple pegs in their eyes.

We finished picking up the living room and kitchen and then called it a night. I saw the bathroom light on when I entered our bedroom. I didn't hear any screaming, so that was a plus. I knocked lightly on the bathroom door before entering. I found April in the tub with Ayla. Ayla was sound asleep on her chest. Something about the combination of being skin to skin with April and the warm water knocked her right out. Any amount of fussiness was no match for that. "You ok?"

"Yeah," April said sleepily. "Sorry, I know the last thing you want is to come home to that."

I knelt down next to the tub, "You have nothing to be sorry for. Your sister is unbelievable. Hopefully there won't be any more issues."

April laughed softly. "Normally I would ask what you said, but I am too tired to care."

"I was nice," I replied. I lifted one of Ayla's little arms and watched as it fell limply back down when I let it go. "She is out."

April smiled, "She is. No matter how worked up she gets, this always works. Plus, I needed to check out for a few minutes too."

"Did she nurse?" I was hoping the answer was yes. Maybe we could get her dressed without waking her up and get some sleep ourselves. Without a full tummy, no chance of it.

"She did," April said, kissing her little head. "You can get her towel and get her if you want."

I quickly grabbed the towel and let April lift Ayla off her chest and into my arms. "Hey baby girl," I whispered. I kissed her little face as I wrapped her in the towel and cradled her to me. This was absolutely the best part of my day. Coming home and getting this little angel in my arms. "I told you Mommy's family was crazy." I handed April a towel as she stood in the tub to get out. "They are all nuts. The Avery family, however..."

"Isn't afraid to parade their crazy," April said. "All over the place. MassGen is full of it. Grey-Sloan is full of it."

"We use our crazy for good," I replied. We sort of did. "Besides, we've been married long enough that you can't pretend you aren't one of us."

"Nope," she laughed. I felt the back of my shirt getting wet as she wrapped her arms around me from behind and rested her head on my back. Clearly not drying off at all before getting out of the water, only wrapping the towel around herself. "The Avery crazy is all you, babe."

"If I'm an Avery, you're an Avery," I said.

"Oh really?" April smiled.

"Really. You married me. One way in, no way out. You're a lifer." I explained. Almost as if she was agreeing, Ayla picked that moment to sigh sweetly in her sleep."See! She agrees."

April smiled as she gave Ayla a kiss, "Oh you are such your Daddy's girl, you little mess."

I was glad someone around here was starting to realize it!


	8. Chapter 8

Some days sucked. No other way to put it. It was one day before Labor Day weekend and Grey-Sloan was overrun with idiots trying to send this summer off with a bang. I'd treated more burns, lacerations, and other preventable accidents that required my specialty than I ever wanted to. I'd made more trips down to the ER today than I had in the past week combined.

It was also an insanely busy surgery day for myself and my partners. Yes, it was true. If you work in a hospital you know that surgeons try to cram everything in right before a holiday weekend. We in the Plastic Surgery department were no different. Between us all I think our department had added an abdominoplasty, blepharoplasty, a few breast augmentations, several skin flaps, a breast reduction, a breast reconstruction, and a cleft lip repair to the roster today.

I had spent most of the morning repairing the cleft lip of a little guy I'd been following since birth. It was one of the most extensive cleft lip and palates that I'd seen in my career. He'd come through his Nasoalveolar molding procedure great and today had been no different. At 2 months older than Ayla, his Dad had been trying to convince me that they'd make a fine couple someday. While he was a handsome little dude, and no doubt had a bright future in front of him, I politely declined the offer. Ayla wasn't getting married. Ever.

So that was my day. From the OR to the ER and back again. I sent my last patient to PACU at 10:30PM and then had to rush to the ER to answer a page from Owen concerning a facial laceration on a kid that needed Plastics closure. First off, what the hell was a kid this age doing awake at this hour to even get a facial laceration? Maybe I had a lot to learn, but geez, put your damn kids to bed!

To add to my day, I'll mention that I am on call tonight for our group. Not only did it mean I was the surgeon on call for any issues that popped up with every patient belonging to our practice, it also meant I was the one summoned when anything Plastics related rolled into the ER. I really can't complain. I want to, but I can't. Ayla was now 8 weeks old and this was the first night I had taken call since before she was born. The other guys in my department had been generous enough to take me off the call rotation for that length of time.

So, numerous procedures performed today...numerous patients in the hospital under our service...and I was on call until 7AM this morning. What could possibly go wrong?

That'd be a rhetorical.

I was just arriving home a little after midnight. My day had started at 6:15AM. If my calculations are correct, that was an 18 hour day. I'm really getting too old for this. I can hear some of the Attendings older than I am telling me to wait another 10 years, but I mean it...18 hour days whip my ass now where they used to be an adrenaline rush when I first started out.

I did not expect to see April awake when I walked in the apartment. We'd talked a few hours ago and she had told me then that she and Ayla were headed to bed. "Hey you..." I said slightly confused.

"Hey," she smiled. She was standing at the dining room table folding clean laundry while Ayla sat in her swing wide awake. The baby looked like she'd had a full nights sleep and had no intention of taking a nap anytime soon. "We went to bed, slept for two hours, she woke to nurse and now we're wide awake. Will not go back to sleep. I have no idea what this is all about."

I may have just worked an 18 hour day, but I completely admit it is nothing compared to the 24 hour days April pulls as a Mom. No sick days, no bathroom or lunch breaks _sans baby anyway_ , this little lady called the shots every hour of every day. "Were you waiting up to see me?" I asked as I stopped her swing and got her out. I kissed her little face and hugged her to me, "I've missed you today..."

"How was Harrison's surgery?" Ayla's suitor. Harrison was a well known guy in the Avery household.

"It went really well," I replied. "He did great during surgery. No complications. I rounded on him before leaving and he was already eating with his syringe feeder, seemed happy as always...his Dad was trying to betroth him to Ayla again." He really was a cute baby, I just wasn't giving him my blessing where Ayla was concerned.

"That's so great," April laughed. She walked to where I stood and kissed Ayla's cheek. "We will not let your Daddy chase good boys away. No we will not!" Ayla smiled and cooed at April. Total mess, this one. Sometimes I spent a half hour making a complete fool of myself trying to get a coo or smile out of her. April walks over, says one thing, and she starts right in. Women...

"What do you have tomorrow?" She asked. "Or, well...today, I guess."

"Nothing on the surgery schedule. I have to round on my post ops. I have a couple pre op appointments after lunch," I explained. Hopefully a much lighter day following the one I'd just had. "You remember I'm on call until 7AM."

"I do," she replied. "Why don't you go ahead and go to bed. I know you're exhausted." I was, but I needed to spend some time with my girls more than I needed sleep.

I sat down at the table with Ayla. "I'm actually kind of hungry. I grabbed a bag of chips between rounds, but that was it in the way of dinner."

April put the shirt she was folding down and walked into the kitchen. "Well, seeing as how you don't eat leftovers..." We'd been married several years now but I would never live that down.

"Sandwich? Cereal?" I had to suggest something.

"Turkey or Ham?" She asked. I guess I was eating a sandwich. "I think that's all we have in the way of sandwich meat..."

"Turkey is fine," I said. "Do we still have that thing this weekend at Mom and Richard's?"

"It's a Labor Day cookout and yes, we do." Mom and Richard had recently bought a home in one of the suburbs of Seattle and had been looking for an excuse to have everyone over. This gave them, well Mom, actually...a perfect excuse to throw some over the top party. She didn't do anything halfway.

I noticed Ayla starting to suck on her hand. I guess she figured if April was preparing food in there it was her turn to eat again too. "Hey you might want to hurry that along in there. Not for my benefit. I think she's getting hungry again."

"Already?!" Apparently it had been one of those days around here.

I knew enough to know she was definitely thinking it was time for her next meal. "Yep, pretty sure she's going to be ready to eat soon. If you have any milk in the fridge I'll feed her." It was worth a suggestion. I didn't get to do it often.

April put my plate of food in front of me and a bottle of water. "These chips ok?"

"Perfect," I smiled. "Thank you."

"You need to eat," she said. "I'll feed her."

I could perform complex procedures in the OR, surely I could eat with one hand while holding Ayla and her bottle in the other. "I can do both. I never get to feed her." Yeah, I guess I was sort of pouting about it.

"Ok..." April gave in. She went to the kitchen to grab the bottle and warm it up. Ayla was sucking on her hand louder. Her way of telling us to hurry it up with the food. I gently bounced her in my arm to hopefully keep the peace until her bottle arrived.

"Anyway," April said from the kitchen. "The cookout is Sunday. Your Mom apparently volunteered you to help Richard grill." No doubt she did. The women in my family never really asked me anything, they just told me what needed to be done. The women being my Mother, wife, and I swore at times my infant daughter. "They invited most everyone, though I am not sure who will be able to come."

I quickly ate my food while trying to keep Ayla pacified. As long as I gently bounced my arm, I avoided any major meltdowns. Multitasking at its finest right here. No wonder April was back to being as tiny as before she got pregnant if this is how she had to eat all of her meals.

"She may not take this from you since she knows I'm around. I only heated an ounce just incase she throws one of her fits." Ayla might only be 8 weeks old, but she was no dummy. Sometimes she tolerated bottles if she knew April was near, other times...no way. It made times with her when April really wasn't around interesting if she decided to go on one of her bottle boycotts.

I took the bottle from April and gave it to Ayla. She immediately opened her little mouth to take the nipple in and started sucking. Before I could breathe a sigh of relief she turned her head to the side and started crying. She knew and was not happy. I don't even know why I tried to pull a fast one over on her. Never works out. "Ayla," I soothed. "This is the same stuff, baby girl."

"She did the same thing for your Mom earlier today." I might have known Mom had found her way over here and why was April talking?!

"April," I said as I tried to get Ayla to take the bottle with no success. You can't fight with a 2 month old. Don't even try. "You talking while standing right next to us isn't helping! She knows you are right there."

She walked back into the kitchen knowing full well Ayla wasn't going to give in. This child might look like me, but she was so much April's daughter that it was comical. If she didn't like something, you knew it. If she wanted something, she was relentless until she got it. Strong-willed doesn't begin to cover it. I tried a few more minutes until she was so pissed that there was no turning it around. I had given it my best shot and absolutely lost the fight. "Ok...ok, you can have Mommy. She's right over there."

I handed a screaming, pissed off baby over to April and went back to my food. April sat down across from me at the table. I watched as she cradled Ayla in her arms and rocked back and forth where she sat. Almost instantly...complete silence. I was convinced she was the damn baby whisperer or something. She had a gift I clearly did not have. Or well, she has boobs. It's probably the boobs. April quickly got Ayla latched on and she started eating like she hadn't just thrown the fit of the century 5 seconds earlier.

"You know it's not you," April said sweetly. "I swear she knows if I am anywhere near her. I was in the shower when your Mom was trying to feed her today and she never went for it."

She would be worried about my feelings in all this. That was just April. If it were anyone else, I probably would be offended that my own daughter preferred them over me...but not April. I loved how much Ayla loved her. Seeing her as a Mom was one of my favorite things. She was just good at it, completely natural from day one, so I could never be jealous or get my feelings hurt over Ayla wanting her Mom.

"She's just smart," I smiled. Also, who could really blame her? If given the choice between a boob or a cold bottle nipple...it was a no brainer. "Speaking of showers, I probably need to do that and get to bed." I got up from the table, gave April and Ayla a quick kiss, and headed to our bedroom.

I turned the shower on so it could heat up and tossed my phone and pager on the counter in the bathroom. I just needed a couple good hours of sleep. I silently hoped Ayla would sense that and actually go to sleep herself. We never knew with her. She seemed pretty wired, but miracles do happen. Not often, but every once in a while. I needed one tonight.

No sooner than I'd stepped in the shower and under the water, I heard my pager go off. You have GOT to be kidding me. I swear I was being watched and the universe was having a hell of a time messing with me. I heard the bathroom door open and saw April, who was still feeding Ayla, come in to see who was paging me.

"It's 3rd floor," she informed me. None of my patients were on 3rd, so I knew it had to be a patient of one of the other guys. "Want me to call real quick while you finish up?"

"Sure." That was the beauty of being married to another surgeon. She could probably handle the page herself without informing me at all, but lawyers love that kind of stuff. I didn't feel like dealing with any of them.

"This is Dr. Kepner calling for Dr. Avery. He just received a page from this number." I watched through the glass to see if her reaction was my cue to leap out of the shower, throw scrubs on, and run out the door. "Hey Linda, this is Dr. Kepner calling for Dr. Avery..." I loved how nurses would page a doctor and then walk off from the desk. They knew we should be calling back momentarily, so don't walk off. Unless you are pumping a chest, stand by the damn phone after you've paged. I need sleep.

"She's great!" April smiled. "Yes! No...no...you are so sweet! She's 8 weeks..." Was she kidding me right now? "She does! She does look just like her Daddy. I know..." she laughed. 1:00 in the morning and my wife was having social hour with a nurse who paged. See, this right here is a prime example of April at work.

I knocked on the shower door to get her attention. If the patient had been in mortal danger when this nurse paged me, he or she was probably dead now. I hate to be crass, but may as well keep it real. I glared at her when she looked over at me. "Oh I know," she laughed. Carrying on as if she hadn't noticed me at all. "I know, we're going to have to get him a phone with more memory..."

"April!" They were probably loading the poor soul into a body bag by now. Funeral home on the way. However, as long as my wife got caught up with all the nurses she hadn't gotten to chat with in 2 months...it was all good. No worries.

She turned to me as if I was being unreasonable. Seriously. Turned to me and looked as if it was obvious that I was overreacting. "Jackson, Dan's breast augmentation from today is complaining of itching. No hives, no difficulty breathing, just mild itching and she wants something for it. No allergies."

 _That_ is what they were paging me for at 1AM? I really don't know why I was surprised. I sighed, "Benadryl 25mg IV every 6 hours as needed." Not the most generous of solutions, but Dan would be rounding shortly and he could deal with it.

"Did you get that?" April asked her, going right back to her conversation. "I know it. Always in the middle of the night! Oh ok...sure! Good talking with you too!" She looked over at me, "Another nurse just told her to keep you on the line. I'll see what she needs."

"Look, you..." Before I could finish she was already talking again. I rested my head against the shower door as I listened to her start in with the next nurse. Did she seriously know all of them?

"We're great! She is. Awww, thank you!" April smiled. I guess she could tell by the look I was throwing her way that I was over it. "So what's going on?" Never again. She was never calling the hospital for me ever again.

"Chad's skin flap from earlier today. The flap to the infected hip arthroplasty incision..."

I nodded. I knew who she was talking about. "What's up?" I asked, finishing up in the shower and getting out. I grabbed a towel and dried off as April listened.

"Chronic hypertension, didn't take her Norvasc yesterday and it's not due again until 9AM. Blood pressure was 169/93 and she has nothing ordered PRN for it..."

I took the phone from April. I started rattling off an order not even giving the poor woman a chance to get a word in. "This is Dr. Avery. Let's do 10mg of Apresoline IV as needed every 4 hours. If that doesn't get it down within 30 minutes to an hour give me a call back, but I think that plus starting her Norvasc back in the morning will take care of it. Is her pain controlled?"

"It is," the nurse replied. "She hasn't complained of any pain with what I have given her. So 10mg of Apresoline IV as needed every 4 hours."

"Yes, 10mg Apresoline IV as needed every 4 hours," I replied confirming she'd heard the order correctly. She thanked me. We were done. Quick and easy. Problem solved. I ended the call and looked down at April from where I stood right in front of her. "Really, babe? Really."

"Hey, I know Linda!" She defended. "She works in the ER, she just got pulled to 3rd tonight because they were short a nurse." I smiled as I listened to her explain herself. She wouldn't be April if she didn't do crap like that. It's why her patients loved her, the staff loved her, hell it's one of the reasons I loved her. Ayla was sound asleep in her arms now, completely oblivious to the excitement of my pager and phone.

I quickly threw some pajama pants on and held my arms out to take Ayla from her. "Give me..."

April smiled as she passed Ayla to me. She always slept on my chest. At this point I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to sleep without her. I held her in one arm as I grabbed my toothbrush and held it out to April so she could put some toothpaste on it. "Do not spit toothpaste on my baby..." she warned.

"Think I can handle that," I said. Next thing I knew I was laughing as I tried to brush my teeth. Couldn't help myself. It started and there was no stopping it. "I mean, was pretty sure the undertaker was showing up to haul Dan's patient away while you caught up with Linda..."

April shoved me playfully from her side of the sink. "You are horrible!"

We finished up in the bathroom and made our way to bed. Finally. I was trying really hard not to keep laughing, but delirium had set in. "Sorry Dan, one of your boob jobs passed on while April caught up with one of the nurses. I never really knew what the problem was before it was too late..."

April picked up a small pillow to throw at me until she remembered that I was the one with Ayla. "Hey," I said, pointing to our sleeping daughter. "I have precious cargo here..."

"You...are...awful," she told me as she turned the lights off and got in bed.

I got in as carefully as I could. Trying not to jostle Ayla too much while I laid down and moved her to my chest. April was lying on her side facing me when she scooted in my direction. She wrapped her arms and legs around my arm and leg closest to her. "What the...you're like an ice cube! Go back to your side with that!"

This had been a turn of events. When she was pregnant with Ayla she was like a furnace who insisted on keeping the place well below freezing. I usually wore a couple pair of socks to bed every night to prevent frostbite. Now she was cuddled up to me to stay warm. Women and their hormones.

"No," she smiled. "You're warm." She rested her head on my pillow and had no plans to move back to her side.

"It's a good thing I don't have issues with personal space," I said to her. "Because I think the two of you forget that I'm not a bed."

She kissed my shoulder. "Well she definitely forgets. And you've never had issues with personal space."

There hadn't been a dull moment in my life since meeting April all those years ago at Mercy West, that was for sure. No one got to me the way she did. It had always been that way. I hadn't always admitted it, but it had been my truth all along. Life with her was fun. She was my best friend. She could make me laugh like no one else could. She also had a knack for pushing buttons of mine that no one else on Earth had ever come close to locating, but still...I loved her more than I ever thought possible.

I turned my head to face her, placing a kiss on her lips and resting my head against hers. "Life would be pretty damn boring without you, you know that?"

"I know that," she smiled. "Glad you know that! You need to go to sleep. I can man your pager till morning," she joked.

I laughed quietly. "So I should probably go ahead and alert the funeral homes here in town then, huh?"

She playfully poked me in the side, "Goodnight Jackson."

* * *

The day of Mom and Richard's cookout had arrived. This was no ordinary Labor Day gathering. Take your average cookout and jack it up on steroids...then you'd have a Catherine Webber cookout. There was enough food and drinks to feed an army. Which was good, because I was pretty certain that between the two of them they'd invited the entire hospital.

I'd made it through my first night of call with no casualties or actually having to return to the hospital. I had gone to work on Friday exhausted from lack of sleep the day and night before, but it had been a good day. No doubt the thought of a three day weekend probably took the edge off a bit.

My assignment for today _along with Ben_ had been to help Richard on the grill. Turns out, Richard is incredibly territorial when it comes to his grill and was pretty clear on the fact that he needed no assistance from a couple amateurs. That was cool, I could sit here on the patio and drink a beer while pretending to do my assigned chore. No prob.

"TUCKER!" We heard coming from across the yard. "You get back over here right this instant!" Bailey was marching across the yard on the warpath. Tuck had apparently wandered off farther than he'd been told he could go with Zola and Bailey in tow.

"When I grow up I want to be like Bailey," I laughed. She was out in the yard overseeing the children who were running and playing in a sprinkler Richard had set up. It had been warm enough for this type stuff today and Bailey felt up to the challenge. From where I was sitting it looked about as controlled as trying to herd cats. I was just hoping no one got hurt. I did not feel like going into work because a coworker's kid needed stitches. No thanks.

"Well I see you two are working hard out here." I looked up to see my beautiful wife standing next to us. Baby in one arm, a plate full of some kind of meat to be cooked in the other. We'd been caught.

"Moral support," Ben smiled as he toasted his beer in her direction.

April looked at us as if we were the rejects of the party. "You want to take these? They're heavy." I admit, we got here bright and early to help Mom with food and prep work. April started in helping the minute we walked in the door. I decided to nap for a couple hours on the couch with Ayla. What could I say...we managed our time differently.

"No," I smiled. "But I'll take what's in your other arm!"

Richard walked over from where he'd been in front of the grill to relieve April of the full plate of turkey burgers while I took Ayla from her. "How's my girl?" I said to her, immediately getting a smile. "Yeah, how's Daddy's girl? Have you been helping?" Yes, you'll make a fool out of yourself if it gets a grin out of these little people. Trust me.

April reached out to rub Ayla's little head, "Say I have been way more help than my Daddy has been!"

Ben laughed, "Dude, she got you with that one. Good job, April, put it here!" He held up his hand to high five her. As if he ranked any better than I did at this thing. I'd get him in trouble with Bailey later.

"I helped," I defended myself. "I have helped. I hauled all of these tables out here and the chairs. I hung up all this crap Mom insisted she needed put up..."

"Decorations..." April corrected.

"…..I got the baby to take a nice long nap earlier..." They really should be thankful for that. Had I not kept her asleep for 2 ½ hours, April wouldn't have gotten half the stuff done she'd been able to. "I have helped!"

April just looked at me. She was trying hard to remain serious about this, but she was failing miserably. I knew how to get under her skin. "You're right. I don't know what we would have done without you sleeping for almost 3 hours this morning with Ayla when you were supposed to be helping. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," I replied smiling at her. "It means a lot that you'd admit you were wrong..." April stood there just shaking her head at me. Sometimes she couldn't even come up with a rebuttal.

"Jackson Avery!" Annnnnnd there was Mom.

"Yes?" I asked. No doubt this was going to be about sitting on my ass while Richard manned the grill. I wasn't messing with his prized possession. No way. He all but pissed on it to mark his territory when Ben and I tried to help.

She came over and took Ayla from me. Baby hog. "Ayla, tell your Daddy if he isn't going to help Chief with the food then he can be the one to sit in the baby pool with you and Ellis!"

Uh uh. Hell no. Not happening.

"Ben isn't doing anything either," I said. Completely throwing him under the bus, but he deserved it.

Ayla smiled at Mom. I'd have a talk with her about this later. "That's right! You tell him you want to go in the pool! Your Mommy brought your swimsuit and everything!" Another grin. Little traitor. Good thing she was cute.

"Yeah," Ben said clapping me on the shoulder. "Sounds like a good job for my man here. You're the Dad with the youngest one here. You get to participate with that age group!" Since when was Ben an expert on children's activity etiquette? Besides, his ass hadn't moved from the chair. Miranda, and now Arizona, were the ones overseeing the older kids.

April smiled. She'd turned on me too. "I think that's a great idea! I just happened to bring your swim shorts..."

"Oh you did, did you?"

"Yeah..." She might try to look and sound innocent, but she was neither.

"Just happened to bring them! You think of everything, sweetheart."

"I really do, honey." No sarcasm in that at all. "Come on," she said, playfully pulling on my arm. "Come on and get changed. Ellis has been standing at the patio door waiting to get in the water like the older kids!"

I took Ayla back from Mom and followed April into the house. Just as April had said, Ellis was standing at the door watching every move the bigger kids made. "Are you ready to go swimming?" April asked her. Her face lit up. Well now I had to get in the pool with them. You can't disappoint a face like that. Dammit.

Meredith picked her up and smiled a knowing smile my way, "Yes, we are so glad that you wanted to swim with the 2 and under crowd. Means none of us had to!" These women were impossible. All of them standing around and I was the one that had to get in the kiddie pool.

I followed April upstairs and into one of the guest rooms where she'd put our stuff. "Really, babe? I have to do this?"

April sighed as she tossed my swim shorts to me. "Jackson, it's not that big of deal. Besides, Ellis doesn't have a Dad to do those things with her. We're all family here and it's you guys that will be..."

I shut her up by walking over and kissing her. I wrapped my arms around her and Ayla and held them to me. "You're probably the best person I know..."

"Probably?" She asked, looking up at me.

"No," I laughed. "You are by far the best person I know." She really was. Always thinking of others and seeing the bigger picture. She was absolutely right. It was a little scary how many kids we had in our group growing up without a Father. We did need to step up. Those guys would have done it for our kids.

I quickly changed out of my clothes and into the swim shorts while she was busy changing Ayla into her swimsuit. I walked over to stand next to her. "What is that?!"

"It's a swim diaper," she explained. "If you put a regular one on them it will swell up as soon as it gets in the water and weigh like 10 pounds..." Again, best to not ask questions. I watched as she pulled the swimsuit out of Ayla's bag. The top and the bottom. THE TOP. AND. THE BOTTOM.

"April, what the hell?!"

"What?" She asked as she put the bottoms over Ayla's diaper.

"She's not wearing that!" There was no way. My wife had officially lost it. There was no way Joe and Karen Kepner had ever allowed her to wear a two piece swimsuit growing up. Truth be told, she probably wasn't allowed to wear a swimsuit at all. "She's not wearing a swimsuit that comes in different pieces." I mean you had to set the rules early. Today it was a two piece swimsuit. Tomorrow she's smoking and messing around with boys. Not on my watch.

April laughed. "Jackson, it's a tankini. It's adorable!"

"She's not wearing it." I would barricade the door if need be. "Not happening. You can just get rid of that one. Give it to someone who doesn't mind if their daughter turns out to be a juvenile delinquent..."

April sighed. "Your Daddy is impossible, Ayla. Impossible. Good luck in your teen years, girlfriend." She could call me impossible all she wanted, the important thing was that she took the bottoms off and pulled a one piece swimsuit out of the diaper bag. Just as cute and none of my angel's belly showing.

"Better?" April asked, looking over her shoulder at me.

"Much." I picked Ayla up off the bed and kissed her cheeks. "Are you ready to swim, baby girl?" She'd probably hate it but we all knew it was just for the photo op where April and Mom were concerned.

I held her as April slathered her in sunblock. You marry a redhead, you get real familiar with sunblock. No use in saying anything. Once that was finished we quickly made our way downstairs. "Oh look at you, Ellis!" April said to her. She was decked out in a swimsuit and arm floaties. You never know when you'll need those in about 3 inches of water. Meredith picked her up and followed us outside.

Thankfully, the pool Mom had purchased was big enough for me to actually sit in and stretch out. Which only proves that this was their plan all along. _Oh we'll toss Jackson in the kiddie pool, he'll watch the little ones!_ I can hear them now. I got in and sat down, the sun had warmed the water so it wasn't too bad. I held Ayla in my lap with one arm while I held onto Ellis' hand as Meredith lowered her in the pool. As expected, the paparazzi _Mom and April_ were out in full force with their cameras.

Soon as Ellis got her footing, she was walking around the pool like she owned it. I had to admit, she was pretty cute. I guess it wasn't so bad being the adult to hang out in here so she could have fun like her older siblings. I'm not completely heartless. I held Ayla and gently lowered her little feet into the water. "Not so bad, huh?" I fully expected her to hate it, but she surprised me. "You like that? Pretty soon you'll be able to do cool stuff like Ellis over there..."

Meredith had given Ellis a small cup that she was dipping into the water and then pouring out. Over and over again. Completely mesmerized. She filled it up again with water and headed in our direction. Wasn't exactly sure where this was going. She stopped in front of us and tried to give the cup of water to Ayla. Guess she thought this poor kid needed some kind of entertainment. All she was able to do was sit here with her Dad. I took it from her, "Thank you, Ellis."

She went to touch Ayla when Meredith reached over in the pool to grab her hand. "No no, Ellis! We have to be very gentle with her. She's a baby. Remember how Mommy and Zola taught you to be gentle with the babies..." Ellis looked up at Meredith as if to say hold up lady, I got this. "We have issues with her being a little rough with Zola's dolls," Meredith explained.

Ellis sat down on my other leg and made herself at home. This one was not shy. Guess she figured if that kid is sitting in his lap, then so can I. She reached over and held Ayla's hand. "Baby!" she laughed.

"Yeah, it's a baby," I said to her. "Her name is Ayla."

She continued to hold Ayla's hand. I'll admit, it was sweet. She had the whole gentle with babies thing down. She reached over and softly patted Ayla on the head with her other hand and got a grin in return. If we didn't know any better, these two had decided to become friends.

"Oh April," Meredith said smiling. "I think we're going to be in trouble..."

No _we're_ to it. A Shepherd and an Avery? _I_ was going to be in trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note** : I have had a couple questions since beginning this story about Jackson and April having sex. It is absolutely safe to assume that in my story they are a normal, happily married couple that do normal, happily married couple things. However, with that said, I have no plans to write about said topic in any great detail. This is and always has been just innocent Japril fluff (for all my heartache & stress the past couple seasons) and tales from the parenthood trenches (told in Jackson's POV). I'll leave the adult content to those talented writers that can do it justice. Just wanted to clear that up once and for all. :)

As always, please enjoy!

* * *

I'm about to tell you something that no one bothered to tell me before I embarked on this whole journey called marriage. I know I usually have stuff to say concerning Fatherhood, but this deserves a moment.

Don't get me wrong, I love being married. I wouldn't trade April for anything. Honest. She is one of the very best things that ever happened to me. If you're lucky enough to find the person to do life with, well...you're lucky enough.

But here's the thing...

You will never make your own plans ever again.

You just won't. Gone are the days you can just decide to go out with the guys for a beer after work. Gone are the days you can decide to spend a lazy weekend home watching sports. Gone are the days where you actually know your plans before it is time to do them.

As long as you know that going in, you'll be fine. You'll be fine even if you don't know it beforehand, but the transition is a little less bumpy if you have some warning. I wish someone had told me that tidbit of information. Would have been helpful.

Today started out like any other normal Saturday. I was not on call this weekend, but I did have several surgeries the day before and I always like to round on my patients over a weekend at least once. Sure, whichever partner of mine on call would be perfectly capable, but I was slightly Type A and couldn't help it. First step is admitting it.

Ayla had us up bright and early, so after April cooked breakfast, I decided to go to the hospital to make rounds. Deciding and doing are two different things for me. April was cleaning _always on Saturday,_ so Baby Girl and I played with her activity mat in the living room floor. She loved that thing. I guess it was all the bright colors and shapes. Who knows what makes for a good toy in a 3 month old's mind. Anyway. If you played with her, it eventually wore her out, and she'd take a really good nap. Or maybe it was the fact that she thought 5:30AM was a perfectly acceptable time to get everyone in the house up. Whatever the case, she took a really good nap and it would have just been rude not to join her.

When I finally woke, it was after lunch and I was behind schedule. I decided to get it over with and go to the hospital. I had quite a few patients that would be staying until Monday, so rounds took longer than usual. Plus, patients like to chat. They will tell you their life stories and introduce you to every friend and family member that just might be visiting at that moment. Also, I may or may not like to show pictures of Ayla off to them also. Hey, in the spirit of sharing...

After I finished rounds, I called home to ask April if there was anything she needed me to get while I was out. We chatted a few minutes, I told her I was going to finish up some charts in my office, and I'd be home immediately after. Still, no mention of anything pending. Not a word. Looking back, I did call while she was giving Ayla a bath so she was distracted and halfway paying attention to what I was saying.

Charting took longer than I expected, then I went over some paperwork from the latest Board meeting. By the time I left the hospital it was late afternoon. I fully expected to get home, find dinner almost finished, and a quiet evening with my girls ahead of me. I was looking forward to both.

That is not what I found upon entering the apartment.

"Where have you been?!" I immediately heard. That's just not a question you ever want to hear as a husband. Ever. You get a sense of impending doom when you hear your wife snap that in your direction.

"At the hospital..." I said confused. I had just talked to her a couple hours ago, but poor thing, she didn't get much sleep so it was not out of the realm of possibility to assume her memory might be a little fuzzy.

"I know you have been at the hospital," she replied. "I thought you'd be home before now. We have to leave in no less than 20 minutes and you are not even dressed!"

There it was. Plans I knew nothing about. T – 20 minutes until scheduled departure to a destination that apparently only my wife knew about. "Where are we going? I didn't know we had plans."

That was the wrong thing to say. I could tell by the look I received. "Jackson, we are going out to dinner for Owen's birthday. Amelia invited us several weeks ago. She actually told you about it and said for me to call her. Which I did and then I told you the plans."

Now here's the thing. I vaguely remember Amelia coming up to me at work and rattling off something that ended with "….just have April call me." I relayed the most important part of that sentence to the correct party. If I listened to every single thing the women I work with talked about, I wouldn't have room in my head for anything else.

"I must have forgot," I said. Better to just admit wrongdoing so you can move on. "I'll change clothes really quick and we can leave." I feel like I should point out that April wasn't dressed either. She was currently wearing one of my t-shirts and had half her hair clipped up on top of her head. I didn't ask, but I felt it was safe to assume she wasn't going out like that.

I followed April to the bedroom where I watched her go into our bathroom and put Ayla _who was in nothing but her diaper_ in her bouncy seat so she could finish curling her hair. No quick task as she has enough hair for an army. From where I stood, she was no closer to being ready than I was, but that is never how the wives see it. "Where are we going?"

"Elliott's," she replied. I was not a fan. I wasn't much of a seafood guy. "I know you don't care for it, but it's one of Owen's favorite places so we'll manage for one dinner."

I rambled through our closet and grabbed a nice shirt and some dress pants. "Hey," getting her attention and holding both up. "This ok?" You never know. That is another thing. Run any wardrobe choices by your wife. Never assume she'll allow you to leave the house dressed however you choose. If I had my choice, I'd wear sweats everywhere. Comfort should be most important.

"That's fine," she replied. "Oh! Can you go grab her bottles out of the fridge? They are right there when you open the door. Put them in the little cold pouch thing in her diaper bag." Now remember, I was in trouble for getting home late and then I was told to rush getting ready...all while she curls her hair and our baby is still in only her diaper. Just observe, though. Never comment. I was currently the most dressed in the Avery family what with my pants on. I at least had half my outfit assembled.

I quickly did as she asked then went back to our bedroom to find April spraying an entire can of hairspray in the bathroom. Ozone layer disintegrating before my very eyes. I quickly got my shirt on, followed by my shoes and I was finished. First one done, but I was the one making us late.

April picked Ayla up and rushed out of the bathroom handing her to me. "Can you get her dressed while I finish up? Her clothes are there on the bed."

I laid Ayla on the bed next to what looked like a 12 piece ensemble. "All of this?"

"Yes," April replied. "Put the tights on her and then her dress and then her cardigan."

I didn't even know what the hell half of this stuff was supposed to be. I checked to make certain her diaper was clean before I started trying to get her in all of this stuff. I picked up the tiny pair of tights. "I've never dealt with tights..."

"They just go on her," April replied. "Just put her feet in and pull them up her legs."

"That's helpful, April. Truly." I looked down to see Ayla smiling at me. She knew I didn't have a clue. "Ok, I need you to help Daddy out here." I managed to get a foot in one side and pull it on up to her knee. Her legs were getting chubby. Baby rolls are the cutest damn things ever, but not when you are trying to get them in a pair of tights. I'd get one side up and she'd kick her leg out when I tried to get the other side up. "Square peg, round hole over here..."

April sighed as she finished putting her clothes on. "Ayla, your Daddy is so dramatic."

A few more tugs, pulls, and profanities uttered under my breath...and I had her in them. I was pretty certain I had broke a sweat. "I have operated on less complicated situations than this. Just so you know." I picked up her dress to see where to begin with it. No idea why I was always the lucky one to try and figure out baby clothing. The dress was far less complicated and I got that on her with ease compared to those damn tights. They should be outlawed.

"See, had she been a boy we would be waiting by the door on you right now." Don't get me wrong, I love my girl, but I was pretty sure we'd never be on time anywhere ever again.

April laughed, "Well last I checked that was all you, buddy. I didn't decide her gender."

I held her up while April got the cardigan on her. "I think we did pretty good with this one."

"Absolutely," April smiled. I had to admit, hard as it was getting her in all this, it was cute. I watched as April put shoes on her _I've no idea why_ and got her bow just right. This was a process. "Ok, I believe she's ready!"

I carried Ayla out of our bedroom and into the living room to put her in the car seat while April gathered her purse, Ayla's diaper bag, and no telling what all else we'd be hauling downstairs. "I have to put my makeup on in the car," she announced. All this time and she still wasn't technically ready.

I got Ayla fastened into her car seat securely and picked it up so I could get April out the door. Somehow by the time we got down to the car I had the baby, both bags, and April's makeup bag while she worked on texting Meredith to let them know we were on our way. We used to throw clothes on and be out the door in 15 minutes tops. Now we needed a full staff of helpers to get ourselves put together and I needed to just break down and buy a U-Haul truck to drive all the crap we took everywhere around.

"Don't hit any bumps," April instructed as I pulled out of our parking lot onto the street. "I don't need eyeliner or mascara all over my face."

"Yes, dear." I replied. As if I could ask every bump or pothole in Seattle to please move out of the way as we came through.

"Oh," I started. "So your hours were approved. I mean you knew they would be, but I did finish that paperwork up today." She would be starting back to work week after next. I was excited that I'd actually get to see her at work again. She, however, was probably less thrilled.

April continued focusing on the mirror. "I am trying to let Owen know ahead of time what day of the week I'll be there so he can plan his own stuff around it, but that won't always work."

We never knew when our free day would be. Some weeks we did, others we didn't until the last minute. It was hard to plan life when you worked in our field. "What day are you coming back the first week?" I knew my Mom was keeping Ayla for us, but that is about as far into the planning as I had gone.

"I'm working Tuesday that first week," she replied. "I'm excited to go back, but it's going to be hard leaving her. I know women do it all the time. When I think of Meredith, Arizona, Bailey...like I know how many hours they put in along with having kids and I admire them so much for it. I'm just not there yet."

"I think it's admirable that you can admit that about yourself." I really did. I wasn't just saying that because she was my wife. I mean sure, I was biased, but in a field where lots view Motherhood as a disadvantage...I was proud of her for being honest about how she felt and where she saw herself for now. "Surgery will always be there. This time with her won't. It's about what you can put on the back burner and be at peace with, I think."

Everyone had their own opinion on this very topic, but you know what they say about those. My Mother was a surgeon before I was ever born, so I didn't know any different growing up. I was used to her being gone at all hours. I certainly didn't have a bad childhood, but I knew Ayla's would be different. April reached over to take my hand, "Thank you for being so supportive about this. I know it wasn't the original plan."

I leaned over to give her a quick kiss, "That's what I'm here for." She'd do the very same thing for me. Not that I'd ever lobby to be a Stay at Home Dad, but she had completely supported other ideas I'd had in the course of our relationship. Even the ones that she probably should have talked me out of.

My thoughts were interrupted when Ayla suddenly started to cry. "Ayla..." April said. "We're almost there sweet girl. She must've lost her paci."

I thought about it for a second. "Crap, I didn't get it out of her bag and give it to her." We were in my SUV and I had put all the bags in the very back. No way to get the paci without pulling over. I watched as April started digging in her purse that was sitting in the floorboard. In about 30 seconds she had a paci in her hand and was reaching between our seats to get the paci to Ayla in the back. I don't care what anyone says, being able to successfully put a paci in a baby's mouth that is in a rear facing car seat in the backseat is a talent only a Mom possesses.

I laughed, "Did you have that in your purse?" Of course she did. She probably had two days worth of gear in that thing.

"I always have an extra pacifier with me," April replied. "I have been around Ayla long enough to know if you don't have an extra paci it's game over." I could tell she was speaking from experience.

We arrived at the restaurant with no more drama from our passenger. After we unloaded what we needed to survive a meal inside a restaurant we made our way into the building. "So how late are we exactly?"

"We're here with the Hunt party," April told the hostess. "We're not that late. Meredith wasn't here yet either when I was texting with her earlier."

We followed the hostess through the restaurant to the table that was set up for our group. Soon as Owen saw us he was out of his chair and coming to hug April. Poor guy had missed her terribly over the past 3 months. "Happy Birthday," I said as I shook his hand. "Sorry we're running a little late." I still felt the need to apologize. I'm not sure why.

"Oh don't apologize," Amelia said. "You'll always beat Meredith!"

Owen was hovering right near April so he could get a good look at Ayla who was still in her carrier. "You should remember my voice, Ayla. You had to hear it from the time you formed ears until we finally made your Mommy stop working." It was true. Some weeks she absolutely heard Owen's voice more than my own.

"Well just so you know, this guy here," Amelia said pointing to Owen. "Almost had a stroke the last day she worked. It was her go out on maternity leave or Owen go out on medical leave for his nerves."

April laughed, "I still don't know what else I was supposed to do. I was the MD covering the ER at that particular moment."

"You don't have one of the orderly's help you up ON THE GURNEY to do CPR as you roll down the hall at 9 months pregnant. That is what you don't do," I replied. I've not spoke on that incident, but let's just say April had been on maternity leave since that day in the ER.

"Well he lived," April said. To this day she still didn't see a thing wrong with that. Meanwhile, Owen and I were almost in need of a Psych consult when we were informed of Dr. Kepner's heroic efforts in the ER that day.

"Kepner!" Bailey was returning from the restroom and had spotted us. "Hurry up and get that baby out of that carrier so I can hold her!"

I sat down next to Ben and pulled April's chair out for her while she was busy getting Ayla out of her car seat. "How's it going?"

"Going good," Ben smiled. "You better not give her any ideas..."

I laughed. "Nothing I can do about that."

April sat down next to me and took Ayla's cardigan off before passing her down to Bailey. "Oh come here you little angel," Bailey said excitedly. "Oh Jackson, you can't deny this one. She looks more like you every time I see her," she said getting a grin out of Ayla. "Yes you do! You look just like your rotten Daddy!"

"You love me," I said to her. No offense taken. That was Bailey. If she picked on you, she liked you. It was when she was nice that you needed to be worried.

"She does look just like Jackson," Amelia agreed. "She definitely has his eyes." The women did this every time they got around a baby. Analyzed every feature on the kid.

Ben reached over to take Ayla's little hand, "You have to let other people get a turn with her, Miranda." He was brave, I'd give him that.

"Oh I'm getting her next," Amelia warned. Keep lining up, the more people there was to hold her, the more likely it was that April and I would get to eat an entire meal uninterrupted.

We heard commotion and looked up to see the Shepherd family headed our way. Meredith was carrying Ellis and practically dragging Bailey, who obviously did not want to be here, by the hand. Zola was bringing up the rear. "We're here," Meredith announced. "We made it!" She got everyone's coats off and the children in their seats without asking for assistance. I feared we'd never be THAT talented.

"Mama," Bailey whined. "I'm hungwee!"

"We're going to eat in just a few minutes," Meredith replied.

"But I'm hungwee NOW!" This one wasn't giving up. I really couldn't blame him. I was pretty hungry myself.

"Derek Bailey Shepherd," Meredith said. Whole name, shit was real now. "We're going to eat in a few minutes. Please don't make me remind you again."

"Bailey," Amelia said. "Come sit with me. I have something to show you!" Meredith helped him out of his seat as he quickly ran to Amelia. I was taking notes. When all else fails, use distraction.

Meredith shook her head. "See what you have to look forward to? No, no, Ellis!" I looked over and saw the youngest Shepherd playing with the salt shaker. Not only were these kids into everything, but they were quick. Into stuff before you even knew it was happening. "Zola, can you hand me her cup out of her bag, please?"

The waiter, a young guy who had probably just started this very day, approached the table looking overwhelmed. We were an interesting bunch for sure with children of various sizes. Hopefully none of tonight's patrons had planned to have a quiet meal. Was not going to happen. "What are you ordering?" I asked April who was reading over the menu.

"Is Arizona coming with Sofia?" Meredith asked.

Amelia shook her head, "She was tied up in surgery, so she won't make it. Sofia is in New York with Callie this weekend."

"I think the crab cakes," April replied to me. Nothing on this menu looked appealing to me. Except for what was on the kid's menu. We'd have to hit a drive thru on the way home. No doubt about it. "You?"

"I don't know..." Literally not one thing looked good. "I don't see anything."

"They have pork chops, you like that. They have a steak, you like that. They have pasta..."

"Ok, babe. I got it. Thanks." I'd order something. Damn.

"I know it's early," Amelia said. "But what is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? We're hosting at our house for anyone staying here in Seattle for the holiday and needing a place to go."

"Oh we'll be there!" Bailey answered. "One less meal I have to cook!"

"You know we're coming," Meredith replied. "You can count Alex. Not sure about Jo. Are we inviting the Interns? I know most of them won't be able to travel home."

"Whoever needs a place to go," Owen said. "Kepner? How about you guys?"

Thanksgiving with the Kepners...on the farm...couldn't wait. It was never good when they had home field advantage.

"We're going to Ohio," April replied. "Which I do plan to work the day before Thanksgiving. We'll fly out that night." Traveling 2,000 miles across the country the day before Thanksgiving with a 4 month old was NOT my idea of a good time, but April felt guilty and all that crap.

"Oh no," Owen said. "You do not need to fly that close to the holiday. You leave earlier, it won't be problem! I will be here."

April wasn't going to go for that. I could tell him that right now. "I've been off for 3 months. I need to pull my part of the load. It isn't a problem."

Amelia shook her head in agreement with Owen. "Absolutely not. You can figure something else out, but you are not flying out the night before Thanksgiving."

"She's the boss," Owen smiled.

April rolled her eyes. "We'll discuss this later." I knew the discussion wasn't over and I'd probably be walking my ass across the airport the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving.

I looked up from my menu to see Alex was joining the party. "Sorry, got tied up at work."

"Jo not coming?" Meredith asked.

"Nah," Alex replied taking a seat next to Zola and picking up a menu. "Still working." I remembered those days. The Attendings always left you to man the post while they went out or home or wherever else they wanted to go. We had all paid our dues, so it was their turn now.

Everyone started ordering about the time Ayla started crying. I looked over to see Bailey gently bouncing her in her lap to no avail. The more she bounced the louder Ayla cried. I reached between where April and I were sitting to get her paci out of her diaper bag. "See if she'll take this," I said as I handed the pacifier down to Bailey.

"Miss Ayla," Bailey soothed. I'm not saying she was rusty on her skills, but Ayla wasn't having any of what Bailey tried.

Ellis, either refusing to be outdone or agreeing with whatever Ayla was upset about, started crying also. We had a choir going over here now as the poor waiter was trying to take orders. "She may be hungry," April said. She reached into the diaper bag and got a bottle out. "Can you go heat this?"

"Where?" Didn't think it appropriate to bust up in the kitchen.

"The bathroom," she replied.

"Her diaper is dry so it's not that," Bailey informed us. It was a universal Mom behavior. Kid starts crying and they immediately check their diaper in front of whoever is sitting around. Poor kids. "Are you hungry, baby girl?"

I took the bottle from April and quickly made my way to the bathroom. I could hear Ellis and Ayla screaming halfway across the restaurant. I felt like every other person in the place was looking at me and thinking _"That's the guy..."_ You know, the one with the screaming kid.

I couldn't have been alone when I walked in the bathroom. There were two other guys in there at the time who both looked too young to have children. Looks could be deceiving, but I didn't think so. I didn't get the vibe that these guys understood my plight. I quickly turned the water on and waited while it heated up. I could feel eyes on me and could only imagine they wondered what the hell I was doing. I fought the urge to turn around and tell them yes, I was warming up a bottle of my wife's breastmilk. It happens to the best of us. What of it?

I got the bottle to a temperature Ayla would just have to deal with. I quickly dried it off with a paper towel and got out of there before I had any new spectators. Ayla was still going strong when I approached the table. Before I could pop the lid off and hand the bottle to Bailey she handed Ayla in my direction. Apparently they aren't as fun to hold when they are screaming. "Hey..." I said to her as I kissed her head. "You're ok...I've got your milk right here, princess."

She started sucking the second I got the bottle to her mouth. Hungry enough to where she wasn't going to protest being fed via bottle. Ellis had calmed herself soon as Meredith had given her a snack. These girls held their food in high regard.

"Avery," Owen said. "Whenever you get her fed and happy, we want her down here."

Oh sure, ask for her _after_ the screaming ceases. "I should have handed her your way at the start of all this. You guys better get some practice in."

Amelia laughed, "Well not just yet!"

Meredith laughed, "You aren't getting any younger, Amy!"

"Hey," Amelia laughed. Have a baby, I wanted to say. You won't be so chipper about age then. I wouldn't have known what the hell to do with her if I was ten years younger, but I absolutely would have had more energy.

As if these kids were plotting against us by taking turns, Bailey knocked his drink over which sent water and ice all over the table, himself, and Ellis. Both kids started crying. I closed my eyes where I sat as I continued to hold Ayla as she ate. Maybe if I just sat here with my eyes closed all of the chaos would be back in order by the time I opened them.

"Dude," Alex said. "I'll go find some napkins."

April was out of her seat digging in Ayla's diaper bag for burp clothes, wipes, blankets, anything to wipe up a couple soaking wet kids. See this is why you just needed to have the one. You started popping out subsequent children and you were outnumbered. "Here's a burp cloth," she said as she tossed it in Meredith's direction. Meredith got Ellis out of the high chair and started drying her off as best she could.

April made her way over to where Bailey was looking as if he was about to cry. "Hey it's ok, Bailey! Accidents just happen sometimes, ok?" I watched as he nodded his little head while April cleaned him off. She was a natural at this Mom thing. I'd love nothing more than to run for the hills and here she was dealing with someone else's child. Ayla was good. I was more than happy to handle any of her needs. It stopped with her though. Other people's kids were just that...other people's kids. I say that in the nicest way possible.

"Mom," Zola complained. "He got my paper wet!" She had been doodling on some paper ever since she'd sat down and now the masterpiece was ruined.

"I'm sorry, Zola," Meredith replied. "We'll get you some more paper." Ellis was still screaming as Meredith stripped her down to her diaper _at the table, mind you_ and changed her into something dry. "Does he need new clothes, April?"

"His pants are a little wet," April replied. "Nothing major though."

The waiter returned to mass chaos. Literal mass chaos. Alex returned to the table with a busboy that was armed and ready with a mop and some towels. The only thing else we needed was a spotlight to suddenly turn on so everyone that wasn't already looking could get a good look at us. I am sure this won't be the first time I experience center stage in a restaurant, but I still didn't have to like it.

The waiter placed a steak in front of me. I forgot I hadn't ordered. I guess everyone did that while I was warming the bottle. It looked decent enough.

"I didn't know what you wanted," April informed me. "I just went with that."

"Steak is fine," I smiled. I rearranged Ayla in my arms so I could hold and feed her with one arm and feed myself with the other. Not the easiest task, but I was getting better with every meal. People want to hold babies all day long until the food arrives. You're on your own then.

"You want me to take her so you can eat?" April asked.

"No, she's fine," truth told...she got fewer uninterrupted meals than I did. I'd take one for the team.

I got a few decent bites in before Ayla spit her bottle out and started crying again. I put her on my shoulder and tried to burp her. Wasn't working and she continued to fuss.

"Oh let me have a try at it," Owen said as he got up and walked to where I was seated. I was skeptical, but handed Ayla over. I mean he took care of trauma cases for a living, surely he could handle an 11 week old. For a second it seemed like Ayla was going to be receptive to the change, but no sooner than he sat back down she was wailing once again.

I passed her bottle down his way, "She may want the rest of this."

Nope.

She continued to freak out while Owen did everything he knew to do with a screaming infant. I saw April going to get up and I stopped her. "I'll get her, babe. You eat." I quickly made my way to Owen's end of the table and took Ayla from him. "She's probably cranky because it's close to her bedtime." Didn't want the poor guy thinking that is how all babies would react to him. She was still screaming her head off in my arms as I walked back to my seat with her. "Hey..." I whispered to her as I gently bounced her in my arms. By some miracle, it worked and she started to quieten down. "You're ok. It's not so bad meeting new friends. You're going to make Owen feel bad." She didn't care.

After a few minutes of pacing back and forth around the table, I sat down with her still in my arms. I was pretty sure we would leave this restaurant in ruin. Looking at the table in front of me Ellis had destroyed her general area. Food was everywhere. Ayla quickly realized I had taken a seat and was trying to gear up again for round two...or were we already on round three of screaming? I lose count.

I got back up with her and continued walking. She was fine long as I walked her around and gently bounced her in my arms. About the time I'd gotten Ayla quietened back down, Ellis had started in again. These girls were giving us a run for our money. I noticed every time I walked by where she was seated she reached up for me. "You want to walk too?"

"You can't carry both of them," Meredith said.

"Oh I'm sure I can," I rearranged Ayla in one arm and allowed Meredith to hand me Ellis in the other. As soon as she was in my arm she smiled and was totally happy. I guess this is what had become of me. I'd walk the babies while everyone else ate. I needed to cut back anyway. Wasn't quite as fit as I had been at the start of this whole marriage gig. April could cook, what more can I say?

The table was able to eat in silence since I had the two culprits with me. They were both happy as could be to look around as I carried them. I stopped next to where April was seated and quietly instructed her to put everyone's meal on our check. It was the least we could do. After all, our little darling was one of the reasons we had very limited conversation with our friends on this rare evening out. I knew Owen didn't mind, but I still felt kind of bad for the guy.

"I'm going to walk to the lobby with them." There was a fish tank out there and nobody was trying to digest their food. Win-win situation.

"I'll get your food packed up to go," April replied. "Soon as I pay I'll be on so we can go home. You sure you're ok taking them out?"

"Absolutely," I smiled. Hell, I wanted out of dodge from our slew of onlookers.

I walked to the lobby of the restaurant with the girls. Ellis spotted the fish tank first thing and started pointing to it wanting to go there immediately. I already felt better. Hey, I am sure in time I won't give a shit how my kid acts in public, but I was still new to this. I had spent more of my life acting civilized in public than how things had been going lately. It would take some time, but I'd get there. I'd get there or Ayla would put me there...no use in battling these little people. They win every single time.

"Ishies!" Ellis yelled.

"That's right," I replied. "Fish." I stood her up on a chair next to the tank so she could get a better view. She was mesmerized. I didn't have the heart to introduce her to the lobster tank. Knowing that was death row for those guys just took some of the magic out of it. "You see the yellow one?" She immediately pointed to the fish I was speaking of. "Yep! How about the blue one?" She was two for two. Smart kid. She did have good genes, so not a complete surprise that she'd know this stuff at her age.

As we were standing at the fish tank I heard what could only be our group coming from the dining room. Sounded like Bailey had unleashed havoc in there. I saw Ben before anyone else, "He's not happy. Didn't want to leave."

I laughed, "Seriously? He didn't want to come in when he got here."

"Kids," Ben replied. "See, Tuck thinks he's too cool to come out with Mom and Dad. That age is both awesome and offensive. Tonight it is awesome."

The screaming got louder as Meredith made her way to the lobby with a crying Bailey in her arms. "We don't know what we want," she said. "Other than our bed."

"Come on, dude," Alex said as he held his arms out to take Bailey. "Let's go wait outside." Alex really was good with kids. You would have never believed it to know him from back when, but he could talk one down in an instant.

"Mama!" Ellis yelled.

"What are you looking at?" Meredith smiled. She watched as Ellis pointed various fish out to her. "Tell Jackson thank you for bringing you out here!"

"Ank you!" She rattled off.

"You're welcome," I smiled. Kid was cute, I had to admit it. She had grown on me. My favorite Shepherd. Don't tell the others.

Ayla started whimpering in my arms again. "Where is your Mommy?" I asked as I looked down at her. "Huh? We need to find Mommy."

"She was finishing up with the check," Owen said. "You guys didn't need to do that. Thank you."

Least we could do. This was some birthday dinner. "Don't mention it! Sorry for the drama tonight."

He laughed, "Are you kidding? I love seeing the kids. Glad you guys brought them!" He was kind. Really. No wonder April loved him. I looked up to see April and Amelia rounding out our group with all of our bags in their arms. April walked over to where I stood and put Ayla's car seat down so we could put her in it.

"She's not going to like this," I told her.

She took Ayla from me and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm just so sorry. Car seats are not optional, Ayla." She handed me the diaper bag and her purse and put Ayla in her car seat. Crying started almost instantly. "Jackson, hand me her paci out of her bag, please."

Ben walked over as I started digging through the diaper bag. We had Ayla screaming, Bailey screaming outside with Alex, Zola dancing to the song currently playing overhead, and Ellis protesting being taken away from the fish tank. I was about 99.9% certain the place would erupt in cheers when our group finally exited the place. This was reality now, though. Like it or not. The majority of us were parents. Personally, I loved it even if I didn't like every situation we encountered.

Ben laughed, "Dude, let's make a pact right now...our birthdays?"

"No kids," I replied. "We'll go to Joe's. Inappropriate for them anyway. Plus, Tuck will probably be old enough to drive us home by the time I actually make it out for a birthday again!"

* * *

My wife and I aren't known for bad ideas. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but it's just fact. She has to think on her feet in her career and also around here since we've become parents. I have to use my brain at times also. Point is, we typically don't miss the mark by a lot.

This latest idea?

Not too sure about it.

Ayla was now 12 weeks old and April was starting back to work in less than a week. Why did we choose the present time to embark on this new journey? I couldn't tell you.

Current project in the Avery household?

Getting Ayla to sleep in her crib in her room.

Don't get me wrong. I love her more than I love anything in this world. She is no doubt the biggest blessing April and I have ever received. I'm aware of the miracle that is Fatherhood and all that stuff...but it was time for her to pack up and move out of Mommy and Daddy's room.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a few selfish motivating factors for being determined this was going to work. For one, we'd sleep better. Two, April was returning to work and needed decent sleep for that reason. Three, I was tired of having sex with my wife in every part of the house except our bed. At one point in our marriage that was exciting. _The shit we used to get excited about..._ Now? I just wanted to have boring sex in our boring bed in our boring room. The thought of that thrilled me, actually.

April was receptive to this change at times. Other times, not so much. If we're being honest here...most times she wasn't receptive to this. I would just have to be the hard ass this time and see it through. Ayla had to start sleeping in her own bed. End of story.

I was currently standing in the doorway of Ayla's room watching April rock her to sleep. Ayla had just finished feeding, was swaddled up, and was very close to sleep. So far this had gone off without any complications. I quietly walked into the room and knelt down next to where they were sitting and kissed Ayla's head. "You're gonna like your own bed, baby girl," I whispered.

April laughed, "Tell Daddy he is kidding himself."

I took one of April's hands in my own. "It's going to be ok." It was. Her room wasn't that far from ours. We had all the monitors. It was going to be great. "I know it's going to be strange not having her with us..."

April nodded but didn't say anything. She continued rocking Ayla and rested her head against our baby girl's as she drifted off to sleep. I stood up and kissed both of them before exiting the room so they could have a minute together. I knew April was having a harder time with this than I was.

I finished the nightly routine of making sure all the doors were locked, everything in the living room turned off, and then got myself ready for bed. I turned the lamp off next to my side of the bed and settled in for what would hopefully be good night's sleep. I knew Ayla would still wake for feedings, but I was optimistic this new arrangement would work. I had offered to do one of the night feedings, but April wasn't there yet. For now, she was still planning on getting up to feed her. It would take time.

No sooner than I closed my eyes, I heard Ayla crying in the baby monitor that was next to April's side of the bed. I opened my eyes to see on the screen that soon as April had put her in the crib she woke and started crying. This was just night one. We'd get there. I watched April pick her back up and start walking around the room with her. The same thing happened several more times. Each time April laid her in the crib she immediately woke and started crying. I watched as April picked her up and sat back down in the rocking chair with her.

I closed my eyes and must have drifted off. I woke when April pulled the blankets back to get in bed. No sooner than she got in bed the crying started again. I watched as she sat in bed next to where I laid and put her face in her hands. I could tell she was on edge. "Jackson," she said quietly. "This isn't going to work."

True enough, I felt like I was pushing this far more than she was. Rome wasn't built in a day, so I was pretty certain Ayla wasn't going to be receptive to this change that quickly either. Still, I thought it would be better for everyone if she did learn how to sleep on her own. "It will. It's just going to take time."

"Well I can't listen to her cry," she replied. "I can't."

"Ok...ok..." I said, reaching out and resting my hand on her leg. "I'll go. You stay here in bed and I'll go." I knew April wouldn't settle as long as she was crying and I didn't want to hear it either. I was just a little more willing to let her whimper before picking her back up. I got out of bed and made my way to Ayla's room where she was giving it her best in her crib. "Ayla," I said. "Baby girl, this bed is not the worst place on earth." I reached in and picked her up. As soon as she was in my arms she quit crying. These little people could turn tears on and off like you wouldn't believe.

I started walking around the room with her. She had her little eyes wide open, trying her very best to fight sleep. She knew I had a plan and she had no intention of following along with it. I gave in and sat down in the rocking chair with her. I could tell it might take a while, so I figured I might as well get comfortable.

"You know," I said to her as we started rocking back and forth. "You are just as headstrong as your Mommy." I laughed to myself thinking about how true that really was. "That isn't a bad thing. Once she sets her mind on something it's going to happen..." We continued rocking as I thought back on my relationship with April. How far we had come, how much she had changed me, how the most important things in my life now I never even knew I wanted before her. "You have the best Mommy, Ayla. She loves you so much. You have no idea how lucky you are." My talk was interrupted by Ayla's cooing.

"That's right," I smiled. "You are so so lucky to have her. She's the best person I know. Pretty sure you'll think the same when you're not having disagreements or convinced she's trying to ruin your life when you're 16...I think that is just part of it." I did not look forward to my headstrong wife and headstrong daughter disagreeing on anything in the future, but I knew beyond all of that April and Ayla would always have a special relationship. "Sometime I'll tell you about growing up with Honey as a Mom when I was a teenager..."

After what I swore was 20 or 30 minutes of rocking and talking she was finally back to sleep in my arms. I slowly got up and walked over to her crib. I gently laid her in the crib so careful that I didn't dare take a breath. I've handled nerves with less caution and skill. Before I could turn to walk away from her crib, her eyes popped open and I'll be damned if she didn't stick her bottom lip out before she started crying again. That did it. I was done. I could take a lot, but I was no match for the bottom lip.

I picked her back up. "Ayla..." I sighed. "What am I going to do with you?" I turned her monitor off and the lamp in her room before carrying her back to our bedroom. I had officially thrown in the towel. I was no match for my infant daughter. April was asleep when I entered the room. A blessing seeing as how I was going to catch hell for being the one to break first. She couldn't have handled the bottom lip either.

I got back in bed as quietly as I could. I turned on my side and cradled Ayla in my arm as she snuggled up to my chest. I kissed her little head as I watched her eyes slowly close. This is all she wanted. Contact with one of us. I felt like a big asshole, but I did stick by the theory that she would sleep better in her own room. Maybe not until she was 5, but whenever she decided to vacate our bed, I knew she'd sleep better.

I had almost dozed off when I heard April's voice. She'd caught me. "You are such a goner when it comes to her." I opened my eyes to see her smiling at us. "You try so so hard to be tough, but you can't take it."

"She gave me the bottom lip," I said defending myself. "You couldn't handle that either!"

April laughed, "She knows what works."

"No idea where she gets that from," I repiled. I didn't know what it was, but when it came to April or Ayla, I was powerless. I couldn't resist either of them. Ayla had definitely gotten that gift from her Mother.

April moved over next to us. "So we're gonna table this whole thing for now?" She kissed Ayla on top of her head lifting one of her tiny hands and getting no reaction at all. Baby Girl was out. "We agree it's not the time to kick her out of our bed? I do see the positives. It's just..."

I sighed and wrapped my free arm around April holding them both close to me. "We'll table it for now." I had to admit, it was torture listening to her cry. Not only that, but it was more exhausting going back and forth to her room. I could admit when I was wrong.

April rested her head against Ayla's and closed her eyes, "You can totally do the next feeding..."

"Oh, really?" I smiled.

"Yeah," she replied. "I mean if you want. Bottle is in the fridge."

And just like that, tables completely turned. My girls called the shots around here. You'd think I'd have learned that by now. Maybe by the time Ayla decided to sleep in her own room...


	10. Chapter 10

There is nothing quite like being sound asleep and getting abruptly ripped out of that peaceful state. Abrupt being the key word there. One second I was asleep in our dark bedroom and the next I was covering my eyes to prevent being blinded by the sudden burst of light.

"Jackson," I heard April say. Maybe if I ignored her she would go away. "Jackson, babe..." I felt her pat my leg as she walked by my side of the bed on her way elsewhere. I had no idea what was going on. "Jackson, get up, I'm serious." If I just kept lying here..."JACKSON!"

I raised up and slowly opened my eyes to look at her. She was fully clothed. Hair done. Makeup on. Had I overslept? "Wha...April, what are you?" I sat the rest of the way up in bed and saw that Ayla was asleep in her bouncer in our room. Apparently her Mother yelling at me to wake up didn't bother her at all. She was still in her pajamas. I was confused.

"Owen called a bit ago," she explained. "ER is full and they have two traumas coming in, so he called to see if I'd be willing to come in early since I start back today anyway. I couldn't tell him no."

I shook my head. "No...no...I understand..." Of all mornings.

"It's 6:30, so you need to get up," she told me again. "You're going to have to take Ayla to your Mom's."

There was the curveball. My wife's first day back to work and I had been assigned drop off duty. The original arrangement was April going in at 9:00 so she would have time to drop Ayla off. I was supposed to be at work earlier. She probably had four million things to tell Mom, so it was just better for her to do the drop off. I could barely get myself out the door, much less myself AND Ayla. "April..."

"Jackson, honey, I know," she replied as she gathered her things up so she could leave. "I'm sorry, but he's drowning and I couldn't tell him no when he called asking if I could come in a couple hours early."

I was out of bed. Standing there clueless, but out of bed nonetheless. I had no idea where to even begin. I had a case in a few hours, so I knew I'd better start figuring it out. "What does she need for the day? I..." Literally clueless. I am not ashamed to admit it.

"I've packed her bag, so all you need to grab are her bottles out of the fridge," April explained. "Her clothes are on the changing table for you to change her into this morning. She just nursed at 5:30, so she will want a bottle around 8:30 or so. I can text your Mom that if you need me to?"

I nodded. Still in a daze. "Yeah, I mean I can't promise I am going to remember times..." She really had no idea what she was asking. Yes, Ayla was just as much my responsibility but I was not as organized as my wife. I was more suited for pick up in the evening.

"Ok," she smiled. "I'll text her. Everything else...extra clothes, diapers, wipes, pacifiers...all of that is packed in her bag. Your Mom knows to call us if she has any questions so please keep your phone with you. She has her own car seat base if she needs to go anywhere. Oh and don't plan any meetings or anything in your office because I'll need to use it for when I have to pump. Didn't think I needed to do that in the lounge." She rattled all of that off about as fast as an auctioneer.

I laughed quietly. "No, though it wouldn't be the first time we've walked in on who knows what in there..."

I watched as she knelt down next to Ayla's bouncer. "Bye sweet girl," she whispered. "Mommy loves you. Be a good girl for Honey today. No drama." She kissed Ayla and then stood to grab her bag. "Ok, I think I'm good to go..."

She walked over and gave me a kiss. "I love you," she said. "See you in a little while. Thank you, I know this isn't what you planned this morning."

"It's no problem," I smiled. "Be careful. I love you." Truth told, it really wasn't a problem. Ayla was my daughter too and I felt like I was a pretty hands on Dad. I think that is how it should be and it is how I wanted it to be. It was just I wasn't quite as good at details and planning as April. This morning could go either way, but I'd do my best. Also, it probably helped that April had to rush out the door. I was expecting a big dramatic scene before she left. This way she didn't have time to think about leaving Ayla for the first time to return to work.

I heard the door shut and tried to figure out what I needed to do first. I decided to grab a quick shower while Ayla was still asleep. I had a Breast Reconstruction case at 9:00 so we were playing beat the clock here. April worked well under pressure. I, on the other hand, got stressed out. I finished my shower as quick as possible and threw some clothes on. I was tying my shoes when I heard the phone ring.

I grabbed my phone and saw it was Ben. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Finishing breakfast," he replied. Breakfast. I had to do that at some point also. "Just wanted to see if you wanted to meet me for a run this morning? I saw your first case wasn't until 9."

"I can't this morning," I told him. "April got called in early and I have to get Ayla to Mom's."

"Oh yeah," he said. "Miranda ran out the door early this morning too. I didn't ask what was going on. Not on my day off!" Must be nice. April and I typically shared our plans with one another, but now that we had Ayla...every move had to be reported. No choice. The days where we could run out the door without an explanation were long gone.

"Maybe next time," I told him. We said our goodbyes and I tossed the phone on the bed and finished tying my shoes. Ayla was still sleeping so I went to the kitchen to grab some coffee and a cereal bar. I'd be ready to eat my arm off by lunchtime, but it would have to do for now. I got my computer as I ate and entered a few pre op orders for my cases today. I didn't need any nurses calling me for orders on top of everything else.

"Ayla..." I said as I entered our bedroom again. "Ayla...it's time to wake up, sleepyhead!" I lifted her out of the bouncer and kissed all over her little face. She was not interested in waking up and I really couldn't blame her. I carried her into her room and laid her on the changing table. Fortunately, April had gone easy on me when it came to Ayla's clothes this morning.

She slowly opened her eyes as she stretched her little arms over her head. "Hey beautiful," I said as I quickly changed her diaper. "I need you to cooperate this morning. Mommy had to go to work early so it's you and me." I removed her pajamas and grabbed the outfit April had left for her. She started kicking her legs like crazy. Now that she had figured out those things would kick, she put them to good use. "Mommy works at the hospital just like I do. She helps really sick or hurt people get better." Don't ask me why I was telling her all this. She liked when we talked to her. She was April's daughter, after all.

"Mommy does some pretty cool stuff," I told her. "I get to do some pretty cool things too. Maybe not as cool as Mommy all of the time, but..." I had been part of some awesome cases. A lot of it I'd probably never see again. I loved reconstruction and having the ability to better someone's life. I also saw a lot of stuff that I had to say was depressing. No other way to describe it. Women that came in time and time again wanting to find a solution that no operation would ever bring them. Sure, I did plenty of cosmetic procedures for the right reasons. It was the returning customers that bummed me out.

Most issues revolved around men who at some point and time had made them feel inadequate. Be it a Father, Boyfriend, Husband, etc. It had become even more depressing seeing these cases since I had become the Father of a little girl. All I knew was I'd spend the rest of my days making sure that was never Ayla. No one would ever be good enough for her as far as I was concerned, and I would do my best to make sure she believed that. I laughed as I saw her yawn. "Yeah, I agree. It's too early." I quickly finished dressing her and picked her up off the changing table. "I love you," I said to her as I kissed her cheek. "Are you gonna hang out with Honey today? Maybe you can keep her in check. Nobody else can." At that I got a smile. She knew. We were on the same page.

Before I could finish gathering the things I needed out of her room, I heard my phone ringing again. "Oh geez..." Thinking it might be April I rushed out of the room to get it. I answered it without really looking to see who it was. Big mistake. "Jackie!" The hell. THE HELL.

"Grandpa," I said. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my Grandfather. He was my only grandparent and goes without saying my family isn't that big. I love him, but I don't always like what he has to say. He rarely calls just to chat. He usually wants something. "How's it going? Listen, I'd love to talk, but..."

"How's my great granddaughter? How old is she now? I lose track of time." Just like I'd never said anything.

"She's 3 months," I replied.

"Already? It hasn't been 3 months, has it?!"

"Yep, it has, Grandpa. July 12th. Did you get those pictures we e-mailed you?" He couldn't text to save his life, so we still had to send him everything via e-mail. If I had six months to a year to spare, I'd sit him down and teach him that texting was a much faster way to share things like that...but I don't.

"I did," he replied. He didn't get excited about much, but a new Avery was a different story . "She's beautiful! Looks just like an Avery!" I laughed. He did have a sense of humor. That I could appreciate. Right on cue, Ayla started cooing in my arms. "Is that her?"

"It is," I replied. "I'm actually trying to get her ready so we can leave. I have to drop her off at Mom's. April started back to work today. I'd love to talk more..."

"Put me on the loudspeaker!" He said right over me. "Am I on there? I want to say hello to her!" World renowned surgeon and he had no clue about anything concerning a phone. The loudspeaker. "Hi Eyla! It's Great Grandpa!" Always. Pronounced her name wrong every single time. How hard could it be? Four letters! It's not E-la. No E anywhere in it.

I took a deep breath. "I have you on speaker now, but remember her name is pronounced just as it looks. No E. Just the letter A and then La. Ayla." I did this every single time we talked. He never could figure out her name. Once again, world renowned surgeon.

"Oh yes...yes, Jackie. Hello Ayla! Hello, it's Great Grandpa!" She looked just as confused as I was. If I had to deal with Harper Avery, then she had to deal with Harper Avery. We shared genes with this dude. "Where is April?"

"She had to go in early," I explained again. "ER was slammed, several incoming traumas...they needed her earlier than she'd planned to go in." I started grabbing bottles out of the fridge and packing them in the diaper bag. "I've got a case at 9, so I am trying to get her to Mom and back to the hospital..."

"She's got you doing all of that?"

"It's not 1950 anymore, Grandpa," I told him. "I'm just as capable of getting our daughter where she needs to be as April is." I might be stretching the truth a bit there, but his old school mentality offended me at times. I was alerted of an incoming call and looked at my phone to see who it was. "Grandpa, let me put you on hold a second. April is calling." I didn't give him time to reply before I switched over.

"Shoot me now," I said dramatically.

"What is it?" I could hear the familiar sounds of the ER in the background.

"Grandpa called," I replied. "He's on the other line. Rattling on about nothing. What's up? Everything ok?"

I could tell by her tone she was trying not to laugh. "I'm really sorry, honey."

"I bet you are," I said.

"I called because I forgot to tell you to pack her sleep sack. If you forget it, she's not going to nap for your Mom. She likes to be swaddled in it." Sleep sack...where the hell was the sleep sack? I started looking around the room as if it was going to jump out at me. We never used the damn thing because she never slept anywhere but our bed. "It's in the top drawer of the dresser in her room." This woman read my mind, I swear.

"I'll get it," I promised.

"Oh and her blanket," she added. "The white one with the little gray and pink birds on it. That's her favorite." A blanket was a damn blanket. How did this baby have a preference? "I actually may have packed that in her bag. Look and see..."

"April, babe..." I really didn't have time for this. I rearranged Ayla in one arm and held the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I dug through the bag. "Yes, you packed it. It's in her bag." Along with a hundred other things she _might_ need.

"I talked to your Mom," she explained as I rushed back in Ayla's room to get what I had been told. "I told her when she'll need to eat again. Gave her my schedule as much as I could. She said she can meet you halfway and get her if you will be pressed for time?"

Now I was just offended. She would have never offered to meet April halfway. They didn't think I could pull this off is what it was. "No, she doesn't need to meet me, April. I'll get her there and myself to work in plenty of time!" These women. If she would stop remembering things for me to do I could already be gone. Well and there was Grandpa.

"Ok," April said. "She was just offering. We know you'll be fine." Sure. I bet they had already made bets on how late I would be.

"Oh! Guess who showed up like 10 minutes after I got here!" There really was no telling. Probably one of her frequent fliers. "Keith! Cops brought him in."

"No way!" I laughed. Keith was the town drunk. Official title far as I was concerned. And I'm talking about the entire Seattle metropolitan area. He was harmless, but an absolute mess. This happened every few weeks. He'd get in a fight with whatever girlfriend he was keeping around at the time, go on one of his benders, and the Cops would find him and bring him in. "He knew today was the day. Probably a night of celebratory drinking. He loves him some Dr. Kepner." _Literally. That is what he always said to or about her. Can't make this shit up._

"Stop." She replied. "He doesn't even know he's in the world, much less that I am the one on his case."

"Betting on his Blood Alcohol Level?" I had to ask. The ER crew was like no other. I guess they had to keep it light else they couldn't handle all they have to see. Owen and my wife were probably the worst, though you'd never think it to look at them.

"Of course!"

"Put me down for .23," I said. We should be ashamed. We're not, but we should be. "What are we playing for?"

"Everyone is putting $25 in. Same as always," she replied. I am certain there was some rule somewhere that prohibited the staff from betting on a patient's blood alcohol level, or betting at all, but I wasn't going to look it up.

"Ok, I'm in," I told her.

She laughed. "You so low-balled that one, babe. He's at the very least knocking on the door of .30."

"Well I can't see him," I said. "You shouldn't even be allowed in the pool anyway."

"Oh, but I am," she replied. "I need to go, got something else coming in. Love you!" Soon as she hung up I looked to see if Grandpa was still hanging on. He was. Of course. I switched the call back over, "Sorry Grandpa, listen I would love to talk longer but I really have to get going."

"The Charity Gala," he started in. I was beginning to think he was going deaf. Every year the Foundation did this and every year I did my best to get out of going. Most years I was unsuccessful. This year? I was hoping to use my infant daughter as a reason not to travel to Boston for said event. I'm not above it. "I want you there with your family. I know you're busy, but once a year isn't too much to ask!"

Last year he announced that April was pregnant when we had specifically asked him not to. It was still early on and we had only told close friends and family. This year, if we went, he'd probably grab Ayla and hold her up to the audience like the opening scene in The Lion King. I grew up as Harper Avery's only grandchild. I knew how things went. Plus, when it came to the Foundation and Ayla's involvement it was a touchy subject with April. I didn't want to go there. "Grandpa, I am not sure we'll be able to make it this year. Mom and Richard will definitely be there like always."

"Oh Jackie, don't be ridiculous! Of course you are coming. You're the future of this Foundation. It is one event." He loved using that line on me. "One day all of this will be yours and it's not too much to ask you and your family to make arrangements to come to one event!"

I sighed. "I'll talk to April, ok?" I said. I got what he was saying, but I didn't even know if I wanted the Foundation. Actually, I was pretty certain I didn't want the damn thing. Not that I had much choice. I sat down on the couch to get Ayla's hat and coat on. You only think you've accomplished something until you get a baby stuffed into a coat. Just saying. "I'll let you know what we decide, but right now I have to get off the phone. I'm going to be late."

"Jackie..."

"Grandpa," I said once again. "I've got to go. I will call you back as soon as I can. Love you." With that I hung up. Only way to get him off the phone. I got Ayla into her coat and put her hat on. I looked at my phone and saw it was way past time that I should have left. I quickly got Ayla secured into her car seat and went about grabbing everything I needed to leave. My bag, Ayla's diaper bag, and Ayla. I had all three. Good to go.

"Morning, Jackson!" I hadn't even closed the door behind me before I heard our neighbor. She was a nice lady, but I did not have time for her this morning. "Oh let me see that sweet baby!"

I stopped so she could see Ayla. "Hey Mrs. Matthews, just on my way to work. You doing okay this morning?" Despite needing her to make her way on down the hallway, I had to be polite.

"I'm great," she smiled. "You get more beautiful every time I see you, little angel. Yes you do!" Ayla started smiling at her. Of course. This baby made friends at the most inopportune times. Just like her Mother.

I smiled at her politely. "Great to see you! You'll have to visit soon. April will be home the rest of the week!" There. I'd dump it off on her. She was the reason we knew this lady anyway. My wife and her hospitality. We said our goodbyes and I continued my rush out of the building. If anyone else stopped me I would just pretend to be hard of hearing. Obviously it ran in the family given the conversation I'd just had with my Grandfather.

I got myself and Ayla into the car and ready to go. Before I even put the vehicle in reverse, Ayla started crying. The car was hit or miss with her. I'd made sure she had her paci, so apparently that wasn't going to work. It was going to be a wonderful drive out to Mom's. "Ayla..." I wasn't sure why I was trying to talk to her. "Hey, you're okay! Ayla..." I swear she only got louder. I decided to let her get whatever it was she needed to get off her chest out into the open and I would just be quiet.

Traffic was worse than usual and I caught every red light in existence on the way out of the city to the suburbs. Ayla was still going strong in the backseat. One thing was for sure, this baby had persistence going for her. I was fairly certain whatever she set her mind to in life she would accomplish. There was no doubt in my mind that a parent's love is unconditional. Any other baby and I would have parked the car and started walking...sans baby. Ok, I'm kidding, but something kept me calm despite her screaming so loud in the backseat that I was pretty sure people in other cars heard her as we passed by. Overwhelming, unconditional love was all I could pin it on.

I heard my phone ring again and saw Cross' name pop up on the screen. He was currently on my service and no doubt calling to ask where the hell I was. I hit the button on the steering wheel to answer and immediately apologized. "Hey Cross, talk but do it loudly. Sorry, I'm behind this morning and I have Ayla freaking out in the backseat."

"Dr. Avery?" He probably didn't hear a word of what I just said.

"I'm here, Cross. What's up? Go ahead and get Mrs. Cooper in holding and ready for surgery. I'm running behind, but will be ready to go as soon as I get there."

"We got bumped." Maybe I didn't hear him right. I had a full day of surgeries and couldn't afford to have things bumped. I did not want to be operating until the wee hours of the morning. "I was just calling to see if you wanted me to call everyone on the schedule today and let them know their scheduled time is going to be later now."

This was ridiculous. "Cross, no. What is the deal...we had OR 5 booked all day! We're not calling anybody!" I didn't know who the hell was bumping me, but they had another thing coming.

"Dr. Avery," Cross continued. "I hear you, but it's happening. Dr. Bailey has already erased our first case from the board. I just need to know what you want me to do."

"I want you to get Mrs. Cooper in holding and be ready to start when I get there." I hung up before he could respond. Typically I didn't act like an ass to whatever Intern was on my service, but I was not in the mood for this today. I wasn't putting up with it. I quickly scrolled to Bailey's name and hit the button to call her.

After about ten rings she finally answered. The more I thought about it, the more angry I got. Ayla was still crying in the backseat which I had decided was the perfect soundtrack to this hell of a morning. "Avery, I don't have time..."

"What the hell?" I said louder than I probably should have. "Cross just called and told me my first case was bumped? Bailey, I have a whole day lined up and I can't just call these people and cancel them!" She wasn't getting a word in before I said my piece. "Whoever is in OR 5 better have their ass out before I get there."

"Well that would be your wife," she snapped back. "So good luck with that!"

"Why is April in my OR? I just talked to her and she didn't say anything about it!" This was unbelievable. My OR for the day was the only place she could go? Wherever Bailey was located was just as loud as the inside of my vehicle with Ayla as my passenger.

"We just had multiple traumas roll in, delivery truck versus a car of teenagers on their way to school. This was on top of the emergency and urgent cases we already had lined up! Everyone is getting bumped," she yelled at me. "Kepner is the ONLY one who isn't running around like a chicken with her head cut off. She needed an OR, saw you had 5, and went there. I have everyone else standing around fighting like a bunch of damn school children over who is going where at what time! You have a problem, take it up with Dr. Kepner!" Before I could reply she had hung up.

Ayla had finally stopped crying, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw in the backseat mirror that she had fallen asleep. I called Cross back as I turned into my Mom and Richard's neighborhood. I quickly told him to call our cases for the day and ask if they wanted to reschedule or come in knowing the wait time was currently unknown. There was no telling when my work day would end now. Not that there was anything I could do about it. I couldn't very well storm into work and proceed to take April's head off about all this. Anyone else and I'd give them a fight. My wife? Well, I just wouldn't be using OR 5 today as previously planned.

I felt like I'd been up for an entire day by the time I shut the car off and got out to get Ayla and her bag. "I'm sorry, baby girl," I told my sleeping daughter. "I know it was rough this morning having to be in this seat such a long time." She had probably cried until she was exhausted more so than it was just time for her morning nap. That made me feel great.

"There's my girl," I heard Mom say as I entered the house. For 34 years of my life it was me that Mom was happy to see. Now? All about Ayla. "I was getting worried!"

I sat her car seat on the kitchen table and unbuckled her. "It's been a morning. I should have called. Everyone kept calling while I was trying to get out the door and then I hit every red light on the way here," I sighed.

"You can leave her there if she's asleep," Mom suggested. I went ahead and did as I pleased while she got things out of Ayla's bag and put her bottles in the fridge.

"No," I said lifting her out of the seat and holding her. "She cried the whole way here because she hates this thing. I don't want to leave her in it."

"Well I think we can remedy that," Mom smiled. She held her arms out to take Ayla. "I'll hold her all day if that's what she wants! Of course, April might not appreciate it." I knew Mom would keep her word on that. Probably not the best idea, but it was hard hearing her cry and not being able to do anything about it. I kissed her forehead as I passed her to Mom.

"April is her problem," I smiled. "She stays in her arms most all day every day." This baby wasn't interested in roughing it on her own. She didn't know much about that.

"You tell your Daddy that being held all day isn't a problem," Mom said to her. "He didn't like being put down when he was your age either." I had no doubt that was true. Only child here. We had our issues.

I sat down at the table along with Mom. I knew I should probably get going, see who I could offer my help to at work, but I had to take a breather for just a second. "She looks so much like you did at this age," Mom said. We always had to go down memory lane. The older I got, the less I protested it. I knew one day I'd probably be rambling on to Ayla about the very same thing. "She doesn't have as much hair as you did, but everything else is so similar. Of course, I try not to say it too often. I don't want to hurt April's feelings."

"Why would that hurt her feelings?" I mean I hope my wife didn't mind our daughter looking like me. If so, then we had bigger issues than I was aware of.

Mom laughed. "Oh I just mean some women get their feelings hurt if they constantly hear their baby looks nothing like them. Not saying that April would, but I'd rather not take a chance on that. I didn't do so great in the very beginning watching what I said, so I try harder now." That was an understatement.

"I honestly don't think it bothers her at all," I replied. "But I do appreciate you trying harder on that."

She had that look on her face. Something was coming. "Speaking of, did your Grandfather call you this morning?" There it was. They were probably in cahoots on this all along. Damn right she better not break this news to April.

"He did," I said. "I don't know what we're going to do yet. I'll have to discuss it with April. She's not going to want to go though, I can tell you that already." Most of me didn't blame her.

"Jackson," she replied. "Now you know I love April, but she married you knowing our family. There are certain responsibilities we have to do regardless of if we want to or not! Making appearances at these events is one of them!"

I sighed. Of course she would say that. "I'll talk to her. Just don't say anything to her about it." It was going to be enough of an argument coming from me. "It's just not that easy traveling to Boston now that we have Ayla. I understand why we need to be there, but it's just not easy."

"Hello my angel," Mom said to Ayla who I now noticed was awake in her arms. There went our conversation. "Hello little lady! We're going to have fun today! Yes we are!" Ayla smiled and Mom was eating it up. I really should have pulled my phone out and recorded this shit. Those that knew Catherine Webber wouldn't believe it if I told them. "I think you're hungry!"

I looked down at my watch. "Yep, it's about that time and I should get going. You want me to heat her bottle before I go?"

Mom stood up and walked to the fridge. "No, I don't need you to heat her bottle. Ayla, tell your Daddy we have got this!" She shot me a look, "You get to work and do not worry about her. She's going to be just fine. Talk about April having trouble leaving her! I think you're worse!"

"Ok...Ok..." I said. So maybe I did have a hard time leaving her. Mom had never kept her an entire day for us while we were both working. I walked over to where Mom stood and gave Ayla a kiss. "Call me if you need anything, have any questions, if something is wrong. April is going to be swamped..."

"Jackson." She interrupted. "We'll be fine! Goodbye!"

* * *

It had been a day. A long ass day. I had just finished dictating my last surgery and was putting some orders in on that patient. April was finishing up in the shower. She had one awful surgery after another and refused to leave without showering and changing clothes. I really couldn't blame her. Most of my patients had rescheduled as to not wait around all day without being able to eat and having no idea when their surgery was going to happen. My busy day turned out to be somewhat of a light one. I mostly assisted other surgeons where I could. I'd pay for it tomorrow.

"Are you gonna eat this?" Alex said as he rummaged through the fridge.

"Eat what?"

"This," he said holding up a plastic container. "It has Avery on it...can I have it or not?"

"It's not mine," I replied. "But yeah...sure." No idea how long it had been in there. I knew I hadn't brought any leftovers and I didn't remember April having food when she left this morning.

I saw April come out of the bathroom showered, changed, and ready to go. "Ready?" She asked, sitting her bags down next to where I was seated. "I need to grab..."

"Oh what the HELL? There is mold in here!" Maybe I should have warned him, but Alex freaking out was too entertaining. "Kepner, what are you doing? Growing your own Penicillin? I mean I know Pharmacy is slow but..."

April walked over to where Alex was standing at the fridge. "That has been in there since before I went out on maternity leave!" She pulled him out of the way by his lab coat and went to work gathering her bottles of pumped milk. Watching these two never disappointed.

"Is that your boob milk?" Alex yelled. "In our food fridge?"

April rolled her eyes at him. "Really, Alex? You work in a NICU."

"Yeah, but you're different," he replied. "You're like my freaking sister or something. And what are you laughing at, Avery? I've had a long day!" Alex tantrums. Never got old.

I stood and gathered all our bags. I walked over to April and held open the bag she kept the bottles of milk in while she loaded them up. "Careful Karev, you may want to back up. If we drop one of these it could splash on you."

April and I laughed as he grabbed someone else's container of food and stormed out of the lounge. "Aggravating him never gets old, does it?" She smiled.

"Nope," I laughed. "Have you talked to Mom?"

"Yeah," she replied. "She said Ayla had a great day. She finished her last bottle about two hours ago, so I need to get going. She'll be hungry, so I'll stay there and feed her before coming home. If you want to go on home I'll be there as soon as I can."

"We'll just leave your car here and both go," I said. It would give me an opportunity to break the news that we had been summoned to Boston in a few months. In the car she had to listen to me, plus not having Ayla with us made talking a little easier.

We managed to get out of the hospital without being stopped for anything or asked to assist anyone. It was an accomplishment, believe me. "That was a long day," April said as we both got in the car and bucked up. "I thought I would miss it more, but I am so glad I am not back tomorrow. I don't think I am even going to change out of my pajamas." Must be nice.

"Well, now you know you made the right decision for sure," I replied.

"I really never doubted it," she said. "I just thought I would leave feeling like I didn't quite get my fix for the day. Of course, today was unusually busy. Sorry for taking your OR, by the way."

I smiled. "Hey, it's ok. I will be operating until late tomorrow night, but what's mine is yours..."

She playfully hit my arm. "It was so chaotic this morning! Everything came in so suddenly from that wreck and then we already had several other cases lined up. Everyone was fighting about who had what room and who had what surgical staff, I saw your name and just went there. I knew we could just fight it out later."

"I understand," I said. I did. Really. I mean yeah it did suck that most of my cases were bumped, but none of mine were emergent. There was always tomorrow. "Plus, I have some news you'll like about as well as I liked my cases being bumped..."

She looked over at me obviously dreading what I was going to say. "Grandpa called and wants us to come to the Foundation's Charity Gala in February." There. I'd said it. Now I simply waited for the shit storm that was coming my way.

"Jackson..." I could tell by her tone that I had predicted right. "I don't see how we're going to do that this time. I mean, we have a lot more going on now and it isn't just us we have to plan for anymore. What did you tell him?"

I got that. I did. "I told him I would have to talk it over with you. I really don't know how to get out of it, though."

"You just say we aren't coming!" She replied.

I sighed. "It's not that simple. Like it or not, we do kind of have an obligation to be there. I know it's not what you want to do..."

"Then you can go," she said. "You go, Ayla and I will stay here. Everyone is happy."

"April," I said. Was she really going to pick this road to travel down? "You're my wife. Obviously you're expected there just as much as I am. I'm not sure why you always act so shocked when things like this come up. You knew what you were marrying into."

"I married you, Jackson. Not your entire family and all the crap that comes along with it." No way she really believed that. Or if she did, we might need to revisit a few things. "I didn't marry some Foundation. I didn't marry someone that honestly expects our children to give up whatever dreams they might have to take over when it is their turn! I didn't sign up for that."

"You know what?!" I said a little louder than I had intended, but whatever, she had pissed me off. "I have always respected your relationship with your family and I have always respected them! Do you think I enjoy everything that goes along with it? Do you think I enjoy knowing how they feel about my beliefs being different? Do you think I enjoy subjecting myself to their judgements however many times a year? I don't! I do it for you!"

"Oh wow, ok!" She shouted back. "Well I'm sorry my family is so awful! Forgive me for taking you around the likes of them!"

"Just don't, April..." I couldn't do this. I was too tired. "You know, I ask you to do this one thing for me and this is what I get..."

"Do not go there, Jackson," she said. She had gone from pissed to furious. We were rocking this whole productive conversation thing. A couple pros, really.

And now she was crying.

We could go from 0 to 60 in no time when it was our families we were arguing over. I wasn't proud of it, but it was the one thing we had struggled with in our marriage since the beginning. I could have smoothed it over the moment I heard her crying, but I didn't, I was too angry. Instead we rode along in silence for the majority of the drive out to pick Ayla up.

"I'm sorry," she said finally breaking the silence. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I don't respect you and your family. It's just...I don't like that whole side of it. I don't like having reporters and photographers everywhere. I don't like being asked questions and having my answers turned around before they ever make it to print." All of the above was true. This event was heavily covered every year in Boston. My family was famous in the medical world and some really crappy things went along with that.

"I don't want that for Ayla," she continued. "Yes, I knew what I was getting into when I married you, but she had no choice. Has no choice, Jackson. I don't know how to say it without sounding like I hold that against you because I don't. All of that is worth having you, it's just..."

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry too, ok? I know what you're trying to say and I'm so sorry it's even an issue." It was crazy, that I could admit. I was a surgeon for crying out loud. There were thousands of us out there, yet it was different for me. I was used to having my every move analyzed by people I didn't even know. Sadly, I had grown up with it. Where was I going to college? What career path would I take? Was I going to be like my Grandfather? Would I fail and screw it all up? Why didn't I choose a different speciality? Harper Avery's grandson a Plastic Surgeon? Will he take over the Foundation? Who is this woman he married? Did she come from a medical family? And on and on and on. I had become desensitized to it because it had always been my life, crazy as it may sound.

April, on the other hand, had not signed up for that. She has never once looked at me, not when we first met and she learned who I was or anytime since, where she saw me for anyone other than Jackson. Her best friend. The guy that has always been hopelessly in love with her. The guy that screws up just like anyone else. She was one of the few truly honest relationships I had ever had in my life. The first person that made me believe that being myself was enough. "Hey," I said quietly as I reached over to hold her hand. "Please stop crying. I'm so sorry and I promise we won't do anything that will affect her. I swear that to you."

She wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I know you'd never do anything that would jeopardize her. I think we're just stressed out from today and tired. I know she is the first one you think of when making any decision. We can go. I just don't want Ayla exposed to anything crazy. Can we please compromise on that?"

"Of course we can!" I replied quickly. The last thing I wanted was our children growing up in some circus just because their Great Grandfather was Harper Avery. "I promise you Ayla will not be bothered by any of this. We won't take her out at all, ok? I love you and I'm sorry."

"I love you too," she replied. Another fight in the books. There would be more, but we'd get through those just like we did this one. We arrived at Mom and Richard's with no further drama. Soon as I parked, April was out and making her way to the front door not waiting for me. She might be a little excited to see our daughter. Don't know what tipped me off.

"Hey!" Mom greeted as she opened the door. In her nightgown and robe, I might add. Always lovely to see your Mother that way. I guess in her defense, we were getting here late and I knew the old timers were usually in bed before now. "One guess as to who has the princess."

We entered the living room to find Ayla and Richard stretched back in the recliner watching the news. Literally. Richard focused in on some story and our 3 month old nestled in his arm looking just as interested in whatever was on the screen. The second April got in Ayla's line of vision the biggest smile spread across her face and the legs started going. Kicking as fast as she could.

"There's your Mama," Richard laughed. "Someone's excited!"

"Hey Bug!" April said as she lifted her from Richard's arms. "Hey sweet girl, oh I missed you so much today!" I knew I wouldn't be holding her anytime soon. "Were you good for Honey today?"

"She was perfect," Mom smiled. "No trouble at all. She pretty much stuck to the schedule you told me she would!" April had that schedule, well Ayla's personal schedule, down to a science. "I did go ahead and give her a bath, that is why she's in her pajamas. I knew you two would be ready for bed by the time you got home."

"Oh Catherine you didn't have to do that," April said. "Thank you!"

"Are you kidding?" Mom asked. "It gave us some excitement around here! All we do at this time of night is read a book or watch the news!" That actually sounded like the perfect life to me. No need to act like it was such a drag.

"Oh," I said. "We're good for February as long as it's understood Ayla isn't going to any events." That was not up for debate. I figured I had better go ahead and get it out in the open while we were all here and could agree together. "Not gonna have Grandpa parading her all around. That's the stipulation."

"Absolutely," Mom said. "I'll make sure that is known and that nothing is said to you about it. I appreciate the two of you joining us."

"Me and you, Kepner," Richard said holding out his fist toward April. She, bless her, took pity on the guy and returned the gesture. Yes, Richard just fist bumped my wife. "We'll sit at the table and talk about everyone we see while those two do what they do best and work their way around the room pretending to care about who is there." The guy had the whole thing pegged. I had to give him credit.

Mom rolled her eyes. "Richard..."

"I'm going to go upstairs to feed her before we go, that ok?" April asked.

"Yes, dear," Mom replied. "Go right ahead!"

We watched as April went upstairs with Ayla. "I mean it," I said quietly to Mom. "No showing Ayla off to any of those people. I know she's acting fine about it now, but she wasn't earlier." That was an understatement. "We don't want Ayla exposed to all of that and I don't want my wife upset over something I can easily control."

"Jackson, she's your daughter," Mom replied. "I have no say in where she goes or who she meets. Though I would like to at least show her to my friends at Brigham. Some have known me since before you were born!"

"That is different. Those people are actual friends. Of course, I want them to meet her!" Some of those people I had grown up knowing. They'd attended every graduation I'd had, given me presents every Christmas and birthday, most had sent us wedding and baby gifts. They were on the list.

"We'll stay at the house," Mom continued on. "Plenty of room for all of us. It will be fun!"

Not entirely sure fun is the word I'd use to describe traveling cross country with Mom, Richard, April, and Ayla who would be 7 months old by then. Insane, maybe...certifiable, crazy, nuts, worst idea I'd probably ever agreed to...but fun?

Not the word.


	11. Chapter 11

**I want to thank everyone that took the time to leave reviews! It is so thoughtful and much appreciated! :-)**

* * *

When it comes to being bunkmates with your child, there is one key piece of information you should know.

Never.

Under any circumstances.

Ever.

Let them know you are awake if you aren't ready to commit to being awake.

Make sense?

One day it will.

Ayla was awake. The little hand exploring my face tipped me off. I'd been poked in the eye, felt little fingers on my mouth, and had a little hand repeatedly pat my cheek. She was at the stage where she wanted to touch anything she could get her hands on. This morning it just happened to be my face. I didn't dare open my eyes, though. Like I said, you never let them know.

She was a morning person. Always woke up happy and smiling. That came directly from April. She may look like me, but I had nothing to do with her being so happy in the morning.

I decided to risk it and opened one eye slowly to see what exactly I was dealing with. Again, long as she didn't realize I was awake I could probably buy myself another 30 minutes or so. I wasn't going to risk turning my head to look at the alarm clock, but I could tell from the light in our bedroom that it was early morning.

Ayla was most definitely awake and had apparently woke April at some point because her hand was resting on Ayla's tummy. I think she'd probably attempted to gently pat her back to sleep and had passed out in the process herself. And I do mean passed out. April was currently lying on her stomach with her pillow over her head.

It was Halloween weekend and she had worked the day before. What started out as a very relaxed day for her did not end that way. A massive trauma in right before she finished up for the day that she had to take straight to surgery. No sooner than she'd gotten the patient settled in ICU and called to tell me she was on the way home, the patient went south again and she had to open them back up. The final time she didn't get them off the table before she had to go back in. Needless to say, it was a train wreck, but this patient was still alive because of her.

I could have saved the guy some time, actually. If she has her mind made up that you aren't going to die, you aren't going to die. I know we aren't supposed to treat immediate family members, but if I am ever in need of a Trauma surgeon they can just throw that rule right out the window. April would just have to pull it together and do her thing.

Anyway, she didn't get home until after 2AM. Ayla and I had fallen asleep in the living room waiting up for her. _Hey, we tried_. She woke us after she'd gotten a shower so we could come to bed. As if the insanely late night wasn't bad enough, she'd also been paged three times by the ICU nurse taking care of this patient for various reasons.

Needless to say, we wouldn't be rock-paper-scissor'ing it this morning. I had early duty. April had earned her sleep. Not to mention today was the annual Fall Festival at the hospital for the Pediatric population, so she had to be up soon anyway.

I laid there a bit longer before I decided to just get it over with and see what time Ayla had popped awake.

7:20. On a Saturday.

Wonderful.

I rolled over onto my back and picked Ayla up to lay her on my chest. Maybe I could get her back to sleep. I closed my eyes and gently rubbed her back. I felt myself dozing when I got the feeling I was being watched. Everyone knows the feeling.

I opened my eyes to see Ayla raised up on her arms looking down at me. She'd mastered head control and the ability to raise up on her arms while on her stomach during mandatory tummy time. I had doubts April put her down long enough for her to learn stuff like this, but I guess she really did given the new skills.

I looked up and saw her watching my every move intently. Probably shouldn't have, but I raised my head to get nose to nose with her before kissing her cheek. Biggest grin spread across her face. She was honestly the sweetest thing in this world.

I did the same thing a few more times until she let out a squeal. Her favorite thing to do. The second she learned she could make that noise, it was all over. She'd do it over and over and crack herself up. "Shh," I laughed quietly. "Mommy's sleeping." Another squeal. "Yeah, Mommy's asleep. Shhh!" It was my fault. I'd gotten her riled up.

I got out of bed while holding her as quietly as I could. Another weekend morning where I was up at the crack of dawn. I shut our bedroom door as carefully as I could before taking Ayla into her room for a diaper change. "Let's hope Mommy put some milk in the fridge for you," I said as I went to work changing her. I'd used the last bottle right before April got in from work. I should probably get better about remembering to move some from the freezer, it's not like I could just run to the store and get Ayla's food if we ran out while April was gone.

I finished getting her changed and picked her up. If only I could be as bright eyed as she was this early on a weekend. "You can just keep your pj's on until Mommy wakes up. You know I never get it right," I told her as we exited her room and headed for the kitchen. I opened the fridge and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that April must've put several bottles in there when she got home. "Thank goodness for Mommy, huh?" I grabbed one and put it in the bottle warmer so it could be heating while I found myself something to eat.

I poured some cereal, grabbed her bottle from the warmer, and went to the living room so I could get myself and her fed. I sat her in my lap so she could lean up against me while I held the bottle with my free hand. I'd have to figure out my eating situation with the other all while making sure I didn't spill anything on the couch.

I felt Ayla's tiny hands on mine as I held her bottle. I guess she thought she was helping with the bottle holding. We both ate in silence as I looked around the living room. It was a damn disaster area. I'm sure April really hadn't taken time to notice it getting in so late from work, but this baby and I could destroy a place! Leave us alone here for one day and it looked as if a tornado had blown through.

"Ayla, we gotta pick up some around here before Mommy wakes up," I told her. If she came out of our bedroom and started yelling at me I would absolutely deserve it. There were two baskets of laundry I'd failed to fold yesterday, baby toys scattered all over, Ayla's swing and jumper were in the middle of the room, and I had a couple cups sitting around that I failed to take into the kitchen. Speaking of the kitchen, there was also a sink full of bottles to be washed that I'd forgotten about.

Yeah, I'd probably get my ass chewed out.

I finished eating and sat there until Ayla was finished. "Ok baby girl," I said as I put her in her jumper. "You stay here and Daddy is going to try to clean some of this up." _Try_ being the key word there. Ayla immediately went to touching and grabbing all of the toys in front of her that were attached to the tray. At least she was occupied for the moment.

I quickly rinsed all of the dirty dishes and bottles out and loaded them into the dishwasher. One task down, about a hundred to go. With Ayla occupied I was able to pick up all of her toys and put them in the basket where April kept them. I'd just go ahead and say it, I didn't see how in the hell April managed to keep this place looking like she did. The city would probably condemn it if I was the one in charge. When I lived here alone it was no problem. Most likely because I was rarely home.

"You sure Mommy doesn't have a pack of gnomes that come out every day to help her clean?" Ayla smiled at me as I talked to her. Don't know if that was a yes or no. Once I finished picking everything up, I got the two baskets of laundry and sat down in the floor next to where Ayla was hanging out.

Before April and I married, I didn't know anything about doing my own laundry. You sent that stuff to a laundry service. It'd come back washed and folded. Well that isn't the way things were anymore. The first few months of our marriage was like domestic boot camp for me. I'd never turned a washing machine or dryer on, let alone used them. It was an eye opening experience.

I reached over and gently bounced Ayla's jumper. She couldn't quite reach the floor to bounce herself just yet, but she had great head control, so we went ahead and started using it. Also, it was another place she might be content for a few minutes so April could get some things done during the day. You take what you can get.

I laughed to myself as I folded one of my long sleeve t-shirts that April had obviously worn recently. They had been my uniform around here all summer long while she was pregnant. Middle of June and winter clothing was the only way I could survive in this apartment. The closer she got to her due date, the colder it got in here. And don't dare touch the thermostat. She knew if I moved it one degree. Hell, she knew if I even started walking in the direction of it.

Speaking of my significant other, I knew she was awake before I ever turned around to see her. The millisecond Ayla spotted her it was like Christmas morning for this baby girl. Legs kicking, hands banging on anything she could reach, the cooing started, huge smile...it was too cute to be offended that I was clearly in the number two seat far as our daughter was concerned. "Let me guess," I said. "You see Mommy."

I got an affectionate pat on top of my head from my wife as she walked by to get Ayla. "Hey beautiful girl," April said as she picked Ayla up and kissed all over her little face. Ayla let out a belly laugh at that. We'd just started that too. Laughing. I know I said other stuff was the cutest damn thing ever, but I was wrong. The laughing was the cutest damn thing ever. "Have you been helping Daddy clean up his mess?" She had noticed. "Yeah, have you been helping?" Ayla squealed and cooed in response to April talking to her. "He needed it!"

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry about that."

"You're lucky I love you," she laughed. "Did you have a good day with her?"

I couldn't complain. "Yeah," I replied. "She's a full time job!" The best full time job, but a full time job nonetheless. "The second I thought I had her settled and I'd start doing something for myself, she needed ."

April laughed. "Welcome to my world! Now you know why I don't always reply immediately to your texts during the day. Half the time I have no idea where my phone even is!" She sat down on the couch and Ayla immediately snuggled up to her. That baby. I swear. Not at all spoiled.

"I went to the bathroom for _maybe_ a minute, minute and a half," I continued as I kept folding. "Screaming like I'd left her here alone all day."

"Uh huh," April nodded. I could tell she'd climbed every hill there was to climb when it came to being home all day with a baby.

"Nothing beats the newborn days, though," I said. "Like to the bone exhausted. How did we survive?"

April kissed the top of Ayla's head as Ayla busied herself by playing with April's hands. "I don't think I brushed my hair for 3 or 4 days at one point. I just did the whole run my fingers through it to get it back in a ponytail thing."

I remembered. "People saw us like that, April..."

She was cracking up now. "And your beard. Oh my God..."

That was the one and only time I think I have ever heard my wife use profanity so freely. _"Shave your f'ing beard, Jackson!"_ She snapped at me one night.

"Or the day the delivery guy knocked on the door..." April had put a note on the door asking people to please refrain from knocking. If we ever got Ayla to sleep, we didn't want her disturbed by someone banging on our door. Either text us or leave whatever you needed to drop off outside. This guy either couldn't read, just didn't care, or had never had a newborn in his home.

"He probably quit," April said. "I don't even remember what all I said to him, but it wasn't very nice."

I laughed. "He probably lost the will to live after that, babe." For real. She chewed him up and spit him back out before snatching the package out of his hands and slamming the door in his face. Sleep deprivation had probably been the motivation in many a murder plot now that I'd experienced it for myself.

Those were some days.

"How is your patient?" I asked changing the subject. I hadn't heard her pager go off, so I assumed still with us, but a train wreck from the sound of it.

"Oh Jackson," she said. "It was so bad. How he ever made it from the scene to us is a miracle in itself. I was actually walking out the door when they brought him in. Most everyone had already left to go home. Amelia was there, but she was in a case. Ended up being me and Ben."

I laughed, "You and Warren?" Trauma was not where he had any plans to go. It's not that he avoided it, but he made no bones about what areas he preferred.

"I may not let you have him for your stupid posse!" She wasn't poaching my posse member. No way. She could find her own. "He really did a great job. When I had to take the guy back to surgery I called Owen in, but Ben stayed with us. He didn't leave until I did." Little known fact about my wife is that while she's sweet and a great teacher, she is not easily impressed. Residents usually thought their rotation with her would be one of the easier ones. Wrong. She was fair, but had expectations she refused to lower. I'd have to tell Ben he'd managed to achieve the impossible.

"So...plans for today?" I was being a good husband and getting my daily itinerary.

"Fall Festival thing," she said. "Then Meredith's neighborhood is doing their Trick or Treating tonight and she invited everyone to go. Arizona is taking Sofia so they won't be out on a school night. I thought we could just go with them since you'll be working Monday."

Oh yes. We were going Trick or Treating. Ayla had not a single tooth in her head, but we were going for the full experience. I guess the perk was I could eat all the candy. "Fine with me," I replied. "Whatever you want to do!" That is always the correct answer. _Whatever you want to do, dear_. "You think she's gonna be happy in a costume all day?"

April looked at me confused. "Oh she's not wearing the costume all day. Just tonight. I bought her another Halloween outfit for today. Then your Mom got her a pumpkin hat and some Robeez with pumpkins on them. They are adorable!"

"What are Robeez?" There was honestly no telling what they were. Between my Mom and April, this kid had every article of clothing known to man.

"Shoes," April replied. "You know the little pink slip on ones she has with the owls on them?"

"Oh yeah," I actually did remember those.

"Same brand," she said. "These are just black with pumpkins on them."

If they weren't her baby Jordans _she had three pair_ then I didn't know specifics. "Why would you buy shoes for a holiday that she'll never wear again?"

"Because, Jackson..." She rattled on and on and on and on and on in response to my very legitimate question.

I don't even know why I asked.

* * *

Every year we do this thing. Actually, it had started out back in the day for the kids that were patients on Halloween and unable to enjoy the holiday like they would if they were at home. Small and simple. Just something nice to do for them.

Now? It had snowballed right into ridiculous. Now it was for any children in the community as well as the current patients well enough to wander down from the Peds unit. Games, prizes, crafts, a tour of an ambulance and fire truck, free car seat checks, free health screening, you name it. If you were a Physician at this hospital with children, you were expected to attend. It's for a good cause and all that. Whatever. We were here.

I was currently hanging out over by the dunk tank. Karev was the lucky guy. Some of us adults may or may not have mingled in the line with the kids to take a stab at throwing a baseball at a target to knock him into the water. It's not everyday an opportunity like this comes around.

I had no clue where April had roamed off to. She had taken the baby and left me with the stroller, her purse, and the diaper bag. In a social setting, I was basically the personal assistant to April and Ayla. Nothing more, nothing less. Good thing I loved them.

I watched Karev get dunked a few more times and finally spotted my wife across the way talking to some of the nurses she worked with in the ER. I decided I'd better go to her before I lost track of her again. I had half a mind to make myself a shirt that said "If found wandering aimlessly return to Kepner" whenever we were at the hospital. I never could keep up with her. She liked to mingle and talk way too much.

I spotted Cross shuffling along ahead of me looking lost as usual. Such an easy target. Nice guy, but an easy target. I rolled up behind him, "Move it or lose it, Cross."

"Dr. Avery!" He said turning around. "Do you have the baby with you?" _Really?_

I gave him a minute to retract the question. Not gonna happen. "No, I just like to roll this around from time to time." I was met with a blank stare. "Yes, she's here. April has her."

"Oh!" He smiled. "I'd love to meet her!" Sweet kid, but I've ran across brighter bulbs. He followed me over to where April was standing with Ayla in her arms.

"Hey Babe..." I interrupted. She stopped chatting long enough to look at me and know I was asking for Ayla. She handed her over and went back to her conversation. I noticed she was holding something to drink, so I took that too while I was at it. "This is Ayla!" I said to Cross. Poor guy looked terrified. Babies did that to guys his age. I remember when I thought babies were the most terrifying creatures on Earth.

"Hi Ayla," Cross said. He carefully shook one of her little hands. She was giving him the eye. The that-is-as-close-as-you-better-get-to-me eye. "How old is she now?"

"Almost 4 months," I replied. "4 months on the 12th."

"Wow, I didn't realize she was that old already!" Tell me about it, dude.

"Time flies," I said. Well, probably not for him. I remember the years of Residency passing painfully slow...like a kidney stone. Cross stood there a few more minutes making small talk before excusing himself to go elsewhere. Again, nice guy but damn he's awkward.

I heard April saying her goodbyes to the pack of women she'd been chatting with as I took a drink of whatever she had in this cup. "Ugh! April!" She knew I didn't like lemonade. "Why did you give me this?" I said as I shoved the cup back in her direction. "Disgusting! Now I'm gonna have to lick the ground to get the taste out of my mouth!"

April rolled her eyes. "Would you stop being dramatic? And you took it from me. Without asking. So you deserved that. And give me back my baby."

"You can have your drink back, but the baby is mine," I informed her.

"Ok, well we need to get over to Bailey's station. I told her I was on the way 2 hours ago." I didn't know exactly what Bailey was doing other than it involved some type of craft that would probably make a gigantic mess. Crafts and kids do not mix. Leave it to Bailey.

We walked up to find Meredith's crew doing something with paint. What did I tell you? Gigantic mess.

"There's my girl!" Bailey said reaching out for Ayla. I reluctantly handed her over. Of course, you typically didn't tell Dr. Bailey no about anything. "You get more beautiful every time I see you! Yes you do! Oh April, she's gorgeous..."

"Thank you," April smiled.

How come the compliments always went to her? Hell, I helped make her too! I was there! Speaking of that trip, I usually went alone to medical conferences. April couldn't care less about tagging along. I guess it was supposed to hurt my feelings when she told me she would be joining me ONLY because she would be ovulating on the days I would be gone. There is nothing quite like allowing your wife to take advantage of you when she's trying to get pregnant. Best. Trip. Ever. Anyway. So maybe I didn't birth this child 9 months later, but ½ her DNA came from me so it chapped my ass when people acted as if I didn't have anything to do with her. _Of course I didn't say any of that aloud._

I stood by waiting for instruction while the women discussed this as if it were a life or death operation. From what I gathered, the kids were turning their hand and footprints into Halloween characters. At least that is what it looked like to me.

Bailey passed Ayla back to me and grabbed a canvas to give to April. "Ok, so what you're going to do is paint the top of her foot yellow, the middle orange, and the bottom white," she explained as she squirted paint on a paper plate in front of where April stood. "Then we'll put her prints on the canvas." I mean who sat around thinking of this stuff?

April took Ayla's shoes off and pulled me closer to her so she could get to work painting Ayla's feet. "Hold her foot still, ok?"

"Got it," I replied. The millisecond April started painting the bottom of her foot she started crying. Full on pitiful crying. As in April was killing her crying.

"Ayla," April said. "It's just paint, baby girl." She continued painting and Ayla continued screaming. Meredith was trying to keep Ellis from touching everyone with her hands that had black paint on them. Apparently she was making her handprints into a spider. "Ok, bring her up to the table," April instructed.

"Start at the heel and kind of roll her foot forward," Bailey explained. "Toes last!"

"You're going to have to bend down, Jackson," April snapped. "You're like 7 feet tall and the table is down here!" She was such a perfectionist that the thought of not getting this footprint just right was causing her anxiety. You want some entertainment, just gather a group of surgeons, give them menial tasks, and watch the deep rooted issues fly. We were the same group that would probably break out in hives if our kid colored outside of the lines. We were a special bunch.

Ayla was screaming her head off as Bailey and April stamped her footprint on the canvas perfectly. Now I got where they were going with this. The prints were supposed to be candy corn. "Ayla, it's your 1st Halloween!" Bailey said. I guess trying to reason with her.

"When you're older, you'll be glad you have this," April added. "I promise you will! I love looking at stuff I made when I was little!" _She would_.

Well she sounded thrilled now. "Ben, get my phone," I told him. "Back pocket. Passcode 0625. Record this." They wanted 1st Halloween memories, they'd get it. This family was anything but a Hallmark commercial and I planned on being open about that.

"Ben Warren here live at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital," he said as he recorded the scene of the crime. See, this is why Ben and I were such good friends. I could appreciate a good smartass. Bailey and April bent over making perfect footprints while our baby continued to protest the situation loudly. "Where these two," he continued as he zeroed in on Bailey and April. "Are doing arts and crafts with the children. Against their will."

"Benjamin Warren!" Bailey snapped.

"It's Ayla Avery's 1st Halloween. Her Dad, Jackson, is here with us. Jackson Avery, do you have anything to say?" We were going to be in so much trouble with the wives later, but you know, Ayla needed to know this stuff.

"This wasn't my idea," I said. "This was all your Mother's doing, Ayla."

By this time April and Bailey were ignoring us as they went to her other foot. April painted while Bailey cleaned the paint off the foot they'd already printed. I continued to hold our very pissed off baby girl. Ayla moved the foot Bailey was cleaning and it went in April's direction. "Oh no Ayla," Bailey said as she stopped her little foot from coming in contact with April's hand. "April, don't get paint on your ring for goodness sake! You should have taken it off."

"Honestly, April," I said before smiling in Ben's direction. She was going to kick my ass after this was all over with.

"He had to save and save to buy that thing," Ben teased. "Had to skip meals. Didn't have a home. Lived in the on call room. I said, "Brother, why are you living this way?" He said he had to get that ring for the love of his life."

"I can't talk about that time of my life..." I added.

"Jackson..." April said exasperated.

"I know you two are married to them," Meredith said walking up to join us now that her brood was done painting. "But you should be stuck in an OR for hours with them. Jackson has a very eclectic playlist of music." She did have a point. When Ben and I worked together in the OR, we tried to at least have fun with it. What goes on in the OR stays in the OR. "Of course I know how it is going to be when I agree to scrub in with them, so I can only blame myself."

"Meredith, I married and had a child with this man," April said. "No judgment from me."

"Oh don't act like you don't know every word to every song that comes on," I said to Meredith. She did. We would have probably been good friends in college. Might not have finished, but I think I would have been friends with Meredith even back then.

Meredith was the last one that should be saying anything and my wife? Well, let's just say she can party with the best of us. We'd all settled down, but we all had our share of fun before we decided to become actual adults. "We went through Residency together, we all know one another's skeletons!"

"You don't know mine!" Bailey replied. "I wasn't with you hoodlums! It was about the medicine in my group! With the exception of Kepner, every last one of you were awful! It's a miracle I thank God for every day that any of you turned out!"

I laughed out loud on that one. "Ben, tell me you have my phone off cause there are some things Ayla doesn't need to know about her Mama." I nudged April's leg with mine while she was busy finishing up Ayla's footprints. She knew I was kidding.

"Ayla," Bailey said. "Do not listen to him. Your Mama was the best thing that happened to your Daddy. I could hardly stand him before her influence. Avery this and Avery that!" You had to love Bailey. You never wondered where you stood with her. "Your Daddy is sweet and precious and that's the only version you'll ever know, but you just know that your Mama brought most of that out."

"Bailey, you should have spoke at our wedding," I said placing my hand over my heart.

Bailey shot me a look. "Well had we known about it..."

"Ok!" April said grabbing a wet cloth to clean Ayla's foot off. "We're all done!"

"Jackson, Ben...you two behave, we have actual people walking over here now," Bailey scolded. "We have to act like we have some sense."

"Come here, angel," April said taking Ayla from me. She snuggled up to April and laid her head on April's shoulder as if she hadn't been angry and screaming for the past 15 minutes.

I pulled April to me, wrapping my arms around her. "I love you," I whispered. I could tell by the way she leaned into me that I was forgiven for teasing her relentlessly. "And I like the candy corn feet."

"Shut up," she laughed elbowing me in the side.

Meredith was trying to track down her three kids and gather their things. "Meeting at our house tonight at 6, guys. You are coming, right?"

"We'll be there," April replied.

We stood watching as Meredith and kids made their way to another area. "You ready to call it a day?" I asked. "You two probably need a nap before tonight." April was still resting against me and Ayla was already struggling to stay awake in her arms. "Well, you do. She's almost out already." As worked up as she had gotten earlier, I wasn't surprised.

"Yeah," she said. "Random, but what does your passcode mean?"

"Huh?" Welcome to life with April. One random question after another.

"Your phone," she said. "I've entered that a thousand times, but I never asked you what it meant. Is it just random numbers or an old PIN or what? Like you know mine is my birthday. Which is super secure, I know..."

I'd managed to make it for years without her ever asking me that question. "It's actually the day I first saw you."

She looked up at me surprised. "Really?! You remember the day we met?"

"Not met," I replied. "Saw. I saw you before I met you, before I knew anything about you."

"I remember you! Like when we all had to introduce ourselves. Gah, that was a lifetime ago." It really was. Now that she mentioned it, I could vividly recall the day she was speaking of. Back then I thought she was so strange. She thought I was so arrogant. And look at us now.

"No, the first day I clearly remember you was June 25th at Orientation. During one of those boring lectures we were required to sit through," I explained. This wasn't some love at first sight story. Not even close. The truth was, I didn't remember that day for a long while. I didn't remember it until long after I knew I loved her. "You were sitting on the row in front of mine. Down at the end. Right side of the lecture hall."

She shook her head, "You are unbelievable. I can't even get you to remember to pick up milk on the way home from work."

"I'm right though, aren't I?"

She leaned up for a kiss. "Yeah, you're right."

For as much of a force of nature as my wife is, she came into my life almost unnoticed. Except she was, for a second, at the very beginning of this insanely crazy journey that became our life together.

* * *

We were an hour into this Trick or Treating expedition and I had to say that I remember it being much more exciting when I was about 30 years younger. Back when Halloween costumes were those flimsy gown type deals with the horrifying plastic mask. High quality stuff.

Meredith's neighborhood covered a lot of ground. Some of our group took this whole thing very seriously. Others, including myself, not so much.

For one, it was cold. We decided to change Ayla out of her bumble bee costume before leaving Meredith's house and bundle her up in something warm instead. The only part of her costume that remained were her antennas. April had put them on over her hat. As far as pictures will remember, she was a bee tonight. End of story.

April was in warm clothes, but had dug a hoodie of mine out of the back of the SUV and put it on before we got started. She couldn't wear the baby carrier with Ayla in it AND the hoodie, so guess who got the honors?

I'll give you one guess.

My hoodie zipped up in the front, so I put the carrier _along with Ayla_ on and then zipped my hoodie up around her. It was a snug fit, and the zipper might blow open at any second, but while it held Ayla would remain nice and toasty. She must be comfortable because she'd been sound asleep the majority of our walk so far.

Hoodies, hats, gloves...late October in Seattle was here.

Leading the group was Meredith, Maggie, Amelia, and the children. They were all into it. The whole pack went up to the front door of every home we came to, yelled "Trick or Treat!", and dug into the candy bowls. Model Trick or Treaters.

The stragglers of the group consisted of myself, April, Arizona, Alex, and Jo. You really never knew who would come to what gathering. Alex and Jo happened to be off tonight so decided to come see the kids and ended up going with us. The more the merrier.

We were a good 40 or so feet behind the rest of the group. While they were power walking up there, we were taking a leisurely stroll. If you can even call it that.

"Dude, trade me something for this," Alex complained to April. "I hate Smarties. You have chocolate in there, I know!"

I could hear candy wrappers crinkling in the pocket of April's hoodie. Every so often she would run up ahead to the other group and get candy from Maggie. The only one nice enough to share with us. "I don't have any chocolate!" That was a lie. She'd stolen Reese's cups for me. Bless her.

"You are full of shit!" Alex fussed. "You're hoarding candy over there like a chipmunk!"

"She's allergic to peanuts, Alex," I reminded him. "All that chocolate comes from a packing facility that uses peanuts." I was not dealing with a damn anaphylactic reaction tonight. She could just eat her sad non chocolate candy and be happy.

"Well bring an EpiPen!" He yelled.

"Do you want me to turn around and deck you?" I was polite enough to ask him first, at least.

"Tell me before you do," Jo answered. "I'll move out of the way."

"If you'll shut up, I'll go find you some chocolate," April told him. This was pitiful at best. A bunch of 30-somethings trailing a pack of kids and fighting over candy.

"You know what to get me," I said making eye contact with her. This was serious business. I was counting on her. I reached in Ayla's carrier where I was hiding the pile of Reese's April had already gotten for me. Alex heard me opening one.

"He's hiding chocolate in his Kangaroo pouch!"

I popped the candy in my mouth before tossing the wrapper over my shoulder in Alex's direction.

"Chocolate," Alex demanded. "Get me some chocolate. Whatever you have to do. If you start gasping from peanut exposure, we'll do an emergency trach on you right here. You'll be fine!"

"He's all yours," Jo said moving out of the way. "Hit him!"

Arizona, who had been listening to something on her phone, pulled her earbud out. "I'll take anything. I only had a pack of crackers for dinner. Literally anything."

April nodded. "Jo? What do you want?"

"Whatever you get is fine with me," she replied.

We watched as April ran ahead to the other group. I'm glad she had the energy for that. We'd volunteered her as Tribute from the beginning. "Who was covering the ER tonight?" I knew Bailey and Ben were with Tuck and his friends at a Haunted House. It was slim pickings at Grey-Sloan tonight.

"Edwards," Jo replied. "I only know coverage for our group. Not sure about the Attending."

"I think it was going to be Owen," Arizona said. "Didn't Amelia say Owen was working when she got here tonight?"

I looked over at her. "Arizona, how long have you known me?" She'd been my wife's best friend for years now. Aside from April and my own friends, she knew me better than any of these other guys.

She rolled her eyes, "I know. You don't keep up with anyone but yourself and sometimes April."

"Correct."

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEPNER, COME ON!" Alex was having a meltdown back there. He should have just gone door to door with the kids.

A few minutes letter we saw April running back to us with Ellis in her arms. We didn't care what kid she picked up along the way as long as she brought candy. If Alex didn't get some chocolate soon we were going to have to kick him out of the circle.

April rejoined the group with Ellis. "Who is that, Ellis?" April asked as she pointed to me.

"Jack Jack!" She was my buddy, so I allowed her to call me that. I held up my hand to her and got a high five.

"And who is that?" April asked as she turned to Alex. "Who were you asking for?"

"WEX!" Alex was her main man. Which he'd been there since day one, so I got it.

April handed Ellis back to Alex. "She's adorable and all, but don't think I forgot the chocolate, Kepner."

"Oh would you hush," April said digging into her pocket and shoving a handful of chocolate candy bars in his direction. "Choke on it!"

Alex smiled. "I love you!"

April passed out the rest of the candy she'd collected. I felt bad for her. Halloween and she couldn't eat any of this goodness because she might swell up and die. Now don't get me wrong, I'd rather just have to feel sorry for her.

I'd witnessed one allergic reaction to peanuts from her and that was enough for the rest of my life. She had unknowingly eaten something that had been fried in peanut oil despite being told otherwise. According to her, that episode wasn't the worst she'd had by a long shot. I, however, did not deal well with listening to her struggle to breathe _and this was post EpiPen injection_ while I drove 100 miles an hour to the ER.

It was then I realized she is just going to have to let me die before her. Which I have told her repeatedly since that day and I mean what I say. I'd be up at the funeral mad as hell. So if she didn't want to be embarrassed at her own funeral then she just needs to let me go first. I knew she could handle life without me, but I'd be useless without her. Truth is truth.

"Our poor bee," April laughed as she leaned over on me to see what Ayla was doing buried in her makeshift cocoon.

"Our broke down bee," I replied. She was over Halloween before it had even started. "I think she'll have more fun next year."

"She'll be almost 16 months next Halloween," April whined. "I can't even think about my baby getting that big!" That is why I didn't. When I thought about the fact that she'd be walking, talking, and into everything by next Halloween I couldn't take it.

"Oh think about it, sister!" Arizona chimed in. "It was yesterday Sofia was that age and now look at her! I miss the tiny baby stage. It goes so fast."

"Hell, Kepner, you'll probably be knocked up this time next year," Alex said with a mouthful of candy. "I'm shocked you aren't already!"

"Alex," Jo said scolding him.

"Actually," April replied. "I think we're going to be part of the one and done crew." Oh yeah. This. Here we go.

"Really?!" Jo said. "I saw you of all people having like 10 kids." I don't know about 10, but...

"Yeah, I just want to devote all our time to her. I have 3 sisters and it was just so much on my parents. They were always going in a thousand different directions." We'd had this discussion so many times that I could probably recite both our sides without missing a word. "Plus, I'm already 34. She's healthy and perfect and the older you get the more likely complications are to pop up..."

I rolled my eyes. Clearly we'd be ready for an assisted living home next year. "She feels that way because she doesn't know what it's like to be an only child." I absolutely positively did NOT want that for Ayla. However, since she's the one that has to carry the children and give birth, then she'd be the deciding factor in what we did. We've both had to make peace with certain things we can't change about each other. I'd eventually make peace with this.

"At least no minivan!" Alex chimed in. I guess if there was ever a silver lining...

"But your such a good Mom," Jo said. "It sucks being an only child. I'm with Jackson!"

"Hey," Arizona defended. "Sofia is an only child and she's perfectly fine. She's happy!"

"Siblings aren't all they're cracked up to be," Alex added. Poor guy just had a bad experience with them, so in his case, I really couldn't blame him. My wife just had annoying sisters. Big difference.

We were finally circling back around through the neighborhood and I could see Meredith's house down the road. Finally. I was ready for some warmth and food. Both of which could be found inside the house. I reached over and held April's hand as we continued walking. "So, how did you like your _last_ first Halloween with your child ever?"

"Jackson!" She said slapping my shoulder. "Stop!"

"The _last_ baby sized Halloween costume you'll ever buy." I was getting help from Jo now. This was great. Who knew Wilson would come in handy?

"You guys are awful," April replied. "Absolutely horrible."

I laughed as I heard Jo keep going. "The _last_ time you'll ever see your husband looking all adorable carrying your sweet little baby around on her 1st Halloween."

"Hey!" Alex popped back at her. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

We continued walking in silence except for the sound of Alex's candy wrappers. Before we reached Meredith's April reached over and unzipped my hoodie. "You've had her long enough!"

I unsnapped the sides of the carrier and carefully lifted a sleeping Ayla out and passed her to April. I watched as she cradled Ayla close to her and was once again completely content now that Ayla was in her arms. If I didn't know any better, someone was struggling a bit with their supposed stance on the latest issue to be discussed.

I sure wasn't struggling with mine, so that left only one other person.

I could be 100% wrong, and I won't name any names, but that was my opinion on the matter.

Opinions can be like assholes what with all of us having one, but sometimes they're right.

Just saying.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you all so much for the kind reviews! They are so appreciated. I'm not always the best at answering questions asked. I read all of them, but have a problem with forgetting by the time I post the next update. I'll answer the couple I do remember really quick.**

 **\- This follows the GA version of Jackson and April up until they got married, I'll say. They did run off to Lake Tahoe. Matthew and Stephanie did exist, though you won't see me bring those two up here, haha. Nothing that happened from middle of Season 10, specific to Jackson and April, and beyond exists in my world. Meaning Derek still died, Owen and Amelia still got married, Callie still moved away...Jackson and April are the only two I changed for my story.**

 **\- All ideas are welcomed and if I can get it to flow in my head, then I will certainly write about it. If it doesn't happen for me, then it doesn't, but I promise I appreciate the suggestions and am not ignoring them. :-)**

 **My disclaimer for this chapter : I had to write and name April's family from my own imagination. Aside from her parents and sisters names we are kind of flying blind there. Also, I do like Catherine and wish she didn't act like a complete asshat in reality. I know that she knows better. For that reason, my version of Catherine is nice, haha. **

**Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Whoever came up with the term _deafening silence_ must have been from Moline, Ohio.

Population: A few over 3,000. Plus the farm animals.

There were about 10 Churches that served the area, a few schools, and a Post Office. I kept hearing rumors of gas stations, grocery stores, and even a library but I can only tell you what I have personally located here.

When I tell you my wife came from small town America, please believe me.

When I mentioned deafening silence, I am not exaggerating. Not in the least bit. My in laws lived on a farm that was located in the middle of nowhere. A nice sized house, a barn, and acres and acres of land far as the eye could see. That was home to the Kepner family.

They did have electricity and indoor plumbing if you're wondering. _Yeah, I'm an ass._

At night it got so dark that you couldn't see your hand in front of your face and it got so quiet that, and please forgive me, you could have heard a mouse break wind should the need for it to do so arise. It was like being put in a sensory deprivation tank and told not to go crazy.

Me, well...I'm a city guy. I'm used to the masses going and coming. I'm used to the insanely tall skylines. I'm used to the hustle and bustle, the sound of cars and people at all hours, and the soft glow of city lights that never really get any darker than just that...a soft glow.

You get used to what you know, I guess.

It was currently 2:15AM and I was lying in bed next to April staring up at the ceiling. Or I guess it was the ceiling...it was really too dark to see what exactly I was looking up at. I should be exhausted given the fact that we had traveled most of the day to get here for Thanksgiving. A four hour flight from Seattle, switching planes in Chicago, and then an hour drive here from the airport we flew into here in Ohio. I'll rephrase, it's not that I'm not exhausted, but I cannot sleep in this silence. It's too much.

Why hadn't this happened before? We've never stayed here before. The times in the past we've visited we stayed in a hotel in a nearby town and just drove out to visit every day. It wasn't the Four Seasons by any means, but at least we had some noise. Since we now had Ayla, we decided staying with her parents was the better thing to do. They wanted as much time as possible with her. Only fair.

Ayla had been nursing most of the night. I could hear her next to me. At her age she still woke at least once or twice in the night to eat, but she hadn't done this all night thing in a long while. Of course, April was so used to night feedings that she could literally do it without really waking up. It must be nice. My best guess was that Ayla was just as tripped out as I was by this place, so she was of the mind that as long as she kept eating and literally stayed attached to April then hopefully she wouldn't get lost in this black hole we were currently in.

Speaking of Ayla, she had done amazingly well on the flights out here. Perfect, actually. April and I trying to pack for all three of us and get through security with an infant caused more drama than flying with her did. I was expecting one of those situations we've all witnessed. The screaming kid that was inconsolable and the mortified looking parents. I always felt bad for them and silently hoped I never found myself in that situation one day. So far, so good. Return to Seattle pending.

My thoughts were interrupted by April slowly sitting up in bed and Ayla beginning to cry. It's not that I wanted my daughter upset about anything, but I was just thankful I now had some company.

"Sorry," April whispered. "Go back to sleep. I'm going to see if she'll go to sleep if I rock her." She had to be kidding. We were in a silent vortex out here and it was creepy. I had to believe Ayla felt the same way. We're city folk. This silent night on the farm wasn't going to cut it.

"I've been awake," I replied. No sense in lying about it.

"Have we kept you up?" April asked me concerned. "I'm not sure what her deal is tonight. She has literally been nursing for 3 hours. There is no way she's hungry." I assumed by the way her voice got further away that she had found her way to the rocking chair that Karen had put in the bedroom we were sleeping in, but I couldn't confirm that given the pitch blackness I was currently in. I'm serious. I could not see my hand in front of my face. _Right_ in front of my face. Couldn't see it.

"No," I replied. I reached over and turned the lamp on that was next to my side of the bed. "I can't sleep. It's too quiet." I know that didn't make much sense, but you just had to experience it. "That could be her problem too. She's used to some noise too. You know she gets that way when anything weirds her out."

"You're probably right," April said sleepily. She tried rocking Ayla without allowing her to continue feeding and baby girl got pissed about it. "Ayla," April whined. "You are not still hungry, sweet girl. You just want to be attached to me. I'm going to hold you." She could try, but somehow I felt her rational explanation was going to fall on deaf ears where Ayla was concerned.

I watched April struggle with her for a few more minutes before I decided it was time for me to intervene. I got out of bed and walked to where April was holding a pissed off, crying Ayla. There was most likely no way she was still hungry, so I thought if I took her and sent April back to bed it would be one of those out of sight, out of mind deals.

Before I could take her from April we heard the bedroom door open. "Is everything ok in here, honey? I heard her crying." Karen. I'm sure she did hear her crying...you could hear anything out here. All the townspeople probably heard her.

"Yeah," April said. "She's just been nursing all night and when I took her off and just tried to rock her she got upset."

Ayla continued screaming and now all three of us were looking at her exhausted and baffled. "You want me to take her, sweetheart?" Karen was kind, no doubt, but I still thought Ayla was freaked out by the unusual surroundings. I didn't think Karen taking her off to another room and away from us would help.

April shook her head in response to Karen's question. Thankfully she and I were on the same page about that. We watched as April continued to try to console her while gently rocking back and forth in the chair. It was not working.

"I'm sorry, Mom," April apologized. "I know you have to be up early to start cooking." Today was Thanksgiving. If ever we needed sleep it was the night before the entire Kepner family descended upon us.

Karen reached out to rub Ayla's head. "Don't you dare apologize. We'll be fine! I'm only concerned about her."

April looked up at me with tears in her eyes. She was nearing her breaking point. She had worked the entire day Tuesday, gotten up early on Wednesday to travel here, and now it was the wee hours of Thursday morning and she had yet to close her eyes. She was exhausted and needed a break.

"I guess we can try stripping her down to her diaper. Maybe if I just hold her the whole skin to skin thing will work..." When you reach this point, you'll try anything.

Karen took Ayla from April, laying her on the bed so she could take her sleeper off. That only kicked the screaming up a notch. "Ayla, it's ok, little miss! You are going to be just fine!" Like I said, Karen was nice, but she definitely wasn't going to solve this problem. Ayla was headstrong to say the very least.

We heard a light knock on the door and in walked Joe. Whole damn family up now. "Everything ok in here?"

Karen picked Ayla up from the bed and cradled her in her arms. "We're just a little unhappy right now..."

 _A little?_ I thought. She was furious. I watched as Karen passed her to Joe, even worse mistake, and he walked around the room with her. Had it been earlier in the day maybe I would have humored them, but it was going on 3:00 in the morning and I was tired. Enough was enough. I stripped my own shirt off _hell, we're all family here_ and took her from Joe.

I held her against my chest and slowly paced back and forth in the room with her. "Shh," I whispered into her little ear. "It's ok. You're ok." I walked over to where April sat and took Ayla's blanket from her. It took a few minutes, but she started to quieten down. Finally. "I know it's a new place, but you're ok. Mommy and Daddy are right here."

April saw Joe and Karen out as I continued walking. I'd do this all night if it meant she wasn't screaming and April got some sleep. I hadn't had a good night's sleep since July 11th...actually July 10th since April decided to go and be in labor all night on the 11th. Point is, it had been months since I had slept like a rock so why start now? "You get in bed and get some sleep," I said to April. I wasn't taking no for an answer. I knew she was exhausted when she did as I told her to do without arguing or insisting she was fine.

Ayla and I continued walking around in the room while I talked to her. I noticed when I stopped talking, that is when she started to fuss. Apparently hearing my voice is what was pacifying her tonight. "You want Daddy to keep talking?" Soon as she heard my voice she cut the drama off. "Ok, I can talk. We can talk if that is what you want."

So talk we did. About everything. I told her about where I grew up and promised we'd make a trip there soon, I told her about my college days _the edited version_ , I told her about my decision to be a Doctor, I told her about crazy Mark Sloan and how if it weren't for him then I probably wouldn't have wised up and realized I loved her Mom _if there was one person I wish could see her, it was Mark_. We covered a lot of ground. I worried I would keep April up, but when I stopped about 10 minutes into the conversation to ask if we were keeping her awake I got no response. She was out.

By this time Ayla had her little head laid on my shoulder. She was awake, but she was as content as she had been all night. I thought I'd better keep talking, but I had just about ran out of stories to tell her. Or well, ran out of stories I _could_ tell her. "Mommy has your books on her phone, we can read one of those..." Desperate times, people. Desperate times.

Ayla might only be 4 ½ months old, but my wife was a firm believer in reading to her. The ability to purchase and download books on her phone just made it too easy. I quietly walked to grab April's phone off the table beside her. "Let's see what all Mommy has on here for you..." I whispered as I sat back down in the rocking chair and rearranged Ayla in my lap.

She immediately started trying to touch the phone as I held it. I quickly entered April's pass code and pulled up her iBooks account. "I'm not gonna be as good as Mommy is at this." If April's job as a surgeon ever fizzled out, she could definitely find work reading books to children. She was the kind that knew exactly the right tone to use on exactly the right line. Now that Ayla was older and more interactive, when April read to her she got smiles and squeals from this one the whole time. No, she didn't really know what April was saying, but it entertained her all the same.

I, on the other hand, sometimes found myself reading to Ayla about like I'd read a textbook from medical school. Which, would also come in handy in life. Not every lecture she sits through in school is going to be animated and interesting. Some are going to be more dull than watching paint dry. We were both doing our part to prepare her for the real world.

"Let's see," I said. " _The Giving Tree_... _Where the Wild Things Are_... _Green Eggs and Ham_..." That one, I was pretty certain, April could recite without ever looking at the text. " _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_... _Oh, the Places You'll Go_... _Corduroy_... _Goodnight Moon_..." She had all the good ones on here. I continued flipping through book after book, some I was familiar with and some I'd never heard of before. I was about to flip back and pick one of the earlier ones when another book caught my eye. _The Snowy Day_. I don't think I had laid eyes on it since I was 4 or 5 years old, but it had been a favorite of mine when I was that age.

"This is a good one, Ayla. Honey used to read it to me all the time." Before I started reading it to her I couldn't help but remember the time in my life when this was a favorite book, it was also the same time in which my own Father _well, sperm donor_ took off. The whole subject of my Father used to be a sore one. If anyone dare brought it up, I'd get defensive and ready to pick a fight. It wasn't something I opened up about or cared to talk about...I'd probably said more to April about it than anyone and she really didn't know that much on the topic. I just didn't go there.

I absolutely admit being petrified during April's pregnancy that I would have no idea what to do or how to be a Father to our son or daughter. I knew she'd be a great Mom. She had the perfect example growing up. Parents that were together and never missed anything. My Father never looked back after he walked away. I never had an example growing up, so how in the hell was I going to do it? That is how we learn, right? By example.

So I worried, never said anything because April didn't need that on top of everything else, and I freaked myself out to the point that I told myself as long as I made an effort and was there then it would be ok. I'd never witnessed a Father's love firsthand, but I had an idea of what it _should_ be like. I had friends with kids. I saw how they were. I'd just do what they did and it would somehow work out.

Then I saw Ayla for the first time.

The day I became a Father was the day I could finally think of my own and genuinely feel sorry for him. It was the first time I knew for sure his exit had nothing to do with me. The issues were his and his alone. It took an instant for me to fall head over heels in love with my daughter and know that nothing could ever make me walk away from her. I'd have to be dead to miss a second of her life. I'd never loved anything the way I loved her. So I didn't have to work at it, or think about it, or make sure I was putting forth the right amount of effort...it just happened. Ayla was born and it just happened.

The answer to how I was going to do it with no real example of a Father was very simple. I just did everything he never did. Even if it meant having to deal with issues I didn't particularly like thinking about all because of a children's book my wife happened to purchase. Even if it meant I sat up all night in a silent house in Nowheresville, Ohio reading books to my infant daughter to keep her happy.

"I love you so much, you know that?" I said to her. "So much," I told her as I kissed her head. She was busy patting April's phone that I was holding with her hands. This one was always curious and not at all interested in any sap coming from Dad. She just wanted to check out the cool colors on Mommy's phone screen. This girl had things to do. "I think this is the one, Ayla. It's pretty good! You ready?" I clicked on the book to open it. It's been a while, so I didn't even know how much I'd remember.

"One winter morning..."

* * *

Thanksgiving Day had arrived and passed in a blur.

Ayla and I had been up most of the night walking, talking, and reading books. I stand by my claim that she was as freaked out by the quiet as I was. I'd managed to get a couple hours of sleep sitting in the chair holding her. Fatherhood has taught me a lot, but one of the most valuable things has been that I can literally sleep anywhere. Sitting, standing, leaning...all good.

I guess the bright side, if we're looking for one, was that April had gotten decent sleep once I had taken over Ayla duties.

April's family does their big meal for the holiday at lunch. When I say big meal, you really have no idea. Karen cooked enough for an entire army. No exaggeration. Other family members had attended, as well as fellow Church members, so for most of the day the house was mass chaos. At one point, when I was in possession of a hungry baby, I had to text April to find her. Yeah. I had to text my own wife while in the same house.

Even after years of marriage, I am still adjusting to being married into a huge family.

The Kepner's are big on traditions, especially at holidays. Every Thanksgiving they eat leftovers for dinner _it's the one time a year I make an exception on those_ , watch _A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving_ on TV, and after the kids are in bed the adults break the board games out. Well, the adults plus Ayla. She wasn't interested in going to bed at the same time as her cousins.

We were currently playing _Pictionary_.

If you aren't familiar, it's a game where you divide up into teams and draw things to be guessed by said teammates. The first team to reach the finish mark on the game board obviously wins and you did so by being able to correctly guess whatever was drawn for you by your teammate.

A little known fact about my wife is that she is insanely competitive. Keyword: insanely. April is, with the exception of her Mother, the sweetest person I have ever met in my life. She would have kept the title of sweetest, but after meeting Karen and also getting April riled up a time or two during the course of our relationship, she had fallen in the number two seat.

What I am trying to say is my wife is crazy when you get her involved in a game. She cannot help herself. Problem with that tonight was everyone decided to break into husband/wife teams. Normally that wouldn't be a problem except April was my teammate and I couldn't draw for shit.

You see where this is going...

I was currently up in front of where April was seated holding the small dry erase board and doing my best to draw something that would clue her into the object on the card I had drawn...air sickness bag. Remember, no words can be used. I can't make any gestures. It's all about my artistic ability, which when the medium is a dry erase marker and board, is none.

"Airplane!" April shouted. Well, that was the only thing I could draw, but it was the tip of the iceberg.

I shook my head "no" and continued drawing.

"Fly...Trip..." I somehow managed to sketch a stick person to add to my plane. "Passenger...Pilot..." I completed the masterpiece by drawing a bag in the hand of the stick person. It was the best I could do. "Airplane snacks!"

"Time is almost up," Joe announced.

There was nothing else I could add to it. She either guessed or we just waited for the time to run out. Her choice. I had done my part. "What the hell, Jackson?!" I held the board up and simply stood there looking at her.

"Are you kidding me?! That's it?" Here we go. She was getting fired up. It was killing her that we were probably in last place after the last couple rounds and Libby and her husband were close to winning. "That isn't even anything! You can literally make Freddy Krueger look like Miss America, but you can't draw whatever is on your card?!"

"April..." Karen scolded. Ayla was perched in her lap across the room watching every move we made. She had been happy all day as long as she kept us in her sight. If she was taken somewhere she couldn't see one of us then the crying started in. She had been passed around a ton and had no meltdowns, so I considered her first Thanksgiving a success.

April was now out of her seat on the couch. "I have no idea! Vacation?! Flight attendant?" She was getting further and further from what it was supposed to be. Waste of brain power to continue on, really.

"Time is up!" Joe said.

"What the hell were you drawing?!" She shot at me as she crossed the floor to come get the card. I quickly stuck it in my back pocket and held my hand out to keep her at bay. Oh, she was worked up. She could no more help herself from overreacting at losing a game than I could keep myself from laughing at her. Losing was the ultimate insult to my wife, but it was great to witness.

"I need you to back away," I laughed. "I'm gonna need you to take your seat." She pushed past my hand and wrapped her arms around my waist to try and get the card out of my back pocket. "You cannot assault the Picturist, April!"

"The hell! You are hardly what I'd call a Picturist!" She continued trying to get the card out of my pocket. I calmly reached behind my back, took hold of both her arms and brought them back around to the front of her before wrapping her in a hug she couldn't get out of. "Jackson!"

"Where are you gonna go now?" I laughed. "You cannot assault the Picturist!"

April laughed as she tried to get away. "Jackson!"

Libby laughed. "April, give up!"

"Yeah, you guys are currently in 4th place," Alice added.

I continued holding her to me. "We lost, babe. Accept it. Accept defeat."

"We lost because you suck!" I'd be offended if it wasn't so damn entertaining watching her get worked up over a board game. It made screwing any game I played with her up worth it. Just saying.

Karen shook her head in disbelief. Probably at the fact that the parents of her youngest grandchild were more immature than a couple children when it came to something as simple as playing a game. "Ayla, your Mommy and Daddy..."

Alice got up and came over to us. "Can I get the card, Jackson?"

"Oh do NOT," April shouted at her.

"Left pocket," I smiled.

Alice reached in and quickly got the card. I heard her laugh at us as she read what it said. "Air sickness bag! Oh, that is fantastic!"

"I can see it," Brian _who belonged to Kimmie_ said. "The plane, person, and bag. How come you couldn't connect those dots, April?" Everyone was joining my side. Excellent.

"Clear as day," Kimmie agreed. "Obviously an air sickness bag!"

"I'd throw up in it," Paul _Libby's_ added.

Karen stood and crossed the room to us. She handed Ayla to me as I took her in one arm and kept my other around April as I pulled her into my side. "You knew it was an air sickness bag, didn't you, Princess?" Ayla smiled the second I started talking to her.

"Oh don't you even," April laughed. "Don't you even agree with your Daddy!"

"Imagine if this had been Monopoly," Libby said.

Paul laughed. "Had it been Monopoly we would have had to call the police out here, no doubt. I think we all remember Thanksgiving 2013!"

"We're never playing Monopoly in this house ever again," Joe informed us.

If you play Monopoly with your family and are still speaking at the end of the game, you haven't played it correctly. April and I got into a screaming match on the drive back to the hotel that night all over a piece of property we disagreed on. A legitimate screaming match which, though my wife would now deny it, included her telling me I could shove my game piece _the top hat_ up my ass. Alice and her husband Josh didn't even sleep in the same room that night. Pretty sure Kimmie threw paper money and stormed away from the table. Monopoly – disrupting marital bliss since 1935.

April took Ayla from me and held her while the others started cleaning up the game. Clearly, we'd had enough excitement for one evening and bedtime was fast approaching.

"Hey Ayla," Josh said as he held his hands out to take her. "You know you want to come see me!"

April smiled. "You want to go see Uncle Josh? He hasn't gotten to hold you yet!" Josh, funny enough, had been one of April's classmates and friends growing up. They'd started Kindergarten together and graduated together. Then he set his sights on Alice and here we were all these years later. Most definitely my favorite of the brothers-in-law. Plus, he had all the good April stories from back in the day.

"Uncle Josh is good people, Ayla," I told her.

She grinned at him and then laid her head on April's shoulder. "Ayla," April laughed. "She's being antisocial tonight. Take no offense."

Karen walked over and gave Ayla a kiss. "Once Mommy gets her the rest of us can forget it! Yeah, you love your Mommy, huh?" She did indeed. Some days I was chopped liver compared to April as far as Ayla was concerned. "Do you want me to wake you in the morning to go shopping with us?"

I am not even sure why the women were going to bed. They were planning on being up and out of the house before dawn to hit the after Thanksgiving sales. The women went shopping and the men went hunting. I did neither and stayed at the house watching football all day. A great day by my standards.

April looked unsure about what she wanted to do. "Hey," I said. "If you want to go with them, go. She'll be fine here with me." Didn't know how much football watching I would get done, but hanging with her was better than any football game anyway. And they sure as hell weren't taking her with them. People went crazy shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.

"I don't think I am going to go," April told Karen. "I think we'll just hang around here tomorrow."

"Well if you change your mind!" Karen smiled. "We all better turn in. Morning will be here before we know it and guys, do not forget tomorrow afternoon we're taking pictures of the kids for our Christmas card! Please have them ready by 4:00 because that is when I scheduled Gina to be here!" Karen Kepner took her Christmas cards about as seriously as Catherine Webber took hers. You didn't mess with it.

Right now all I could think about was going to bed. I was exhausted after not sleeping much last night and being busy all day. I had downloaded a white noise app on my phone for Ayla if she had a repeat of last night. I loved her, but I couldn't pull another all nighter reading to her. It was the white noise app or April. Those were her two choices.

After about 15 minutes of goodbyes to April's huge ass family, we finally made our way upstairs to our room. We passed Ayla back and forth as we changed out of our clothes and into pajamas. "Hey babe," April called to me from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" I was undressing Ayla about the time I discovered she had a dirty diaper. "We'll save this one for Mommy," I whispered to her. "You were saying something?"

I saw her appear in the doorway of the bathroom busy cleaning her makeup off. "We need to FaceTime your Mom and Richard. It shouldn't be too late out there. We've only text them today."

"Yeah, that will be good," I replied.

"Don't even act like you aren't going to change that," she said before walking back into the bathroom. I looked down and saw the yellow indicator line on the diaper had turned green. She had spotted that when I moved from in front of where Ayla was on the bed. Dammit. "I'm about to have her hanging off my boob all night, the least you could do is change a nasty diaper." She had such a way with words.

I grabbed the package of wipes and got to business. "Ayla, there is no sense in this." I know she was bigger now, but still, something this size shouldn't make such a mess. "This is horrible." I looked down to see her smiling at me. "You think this is funny," I laughed. "You think it's funny?" I reached out to tickle her tummy and got a laugh out of her. Damn she was adorable. Diaper full of poop and all.

"Tell Daddy that if he thinks your diapers are bad now when all you eat is breast milk, just wait until you start solids," April said walking back into the bedroom. She was always full of such good news.

I looked over at her and smiled. "Well, I'll just let you change all of those."

"Who do you think changes her while you are at work all day?" She had a point.

I finished up with the diaper change and then wrestled her into her pajamas. It was much easier when she wasn't trying to roll over, hold her feet, etc. I lifted her off the bed and kissed her cheek. "I think I'll keep you even though you poop your pants."

April laughed, "It's a small price to pay, huh?" It really was. I teeter back and forth between being a smart ass when it came to the joys of having a baby and being unable to hide how unbelievably much she owned my ass. It's crazy how much you can love these little people.

I handed her to April before grabbing my iPad out of the suitcase and turning it on. I got in bed next to where April sat with Ayla. "Hopefully they can figure out how to answer the phone."

"Jackson," April laughed.

I noticed Ayla staring at the screen of my iPad which was, of course, a picture of her. "Who is that baby, huh? Who is that beautiful girl?" She was still looking at it with a look of uncertainty on her face. She was expressive if nothing else. Another thing that came directly from April. Every thought that passed through her head ended up on her face.

"Daddy used to have a picture of some football team logo as his background before you," April told her. "I think you rank pretty high up there!"

"She's a good conversation starter," I replied. Was true. This was also my work iPad and nothing got a patient talking like showing them pictures of your baby. I hadn't had to suffer through awkward silence since Ayla arrived. "Ok, ready?"

"Yeah," April said. "Hopefully they are awake."

"It's way earlier out there, so they better be." If they were already in bed I would give them so much hell for it later.

Mom appeared as we got all connected up. "Happy Thanksgiving!" April said. Richard suddenly appeared behind her. "Hey guys," I said. "Just calling to tell you Happy Thanksgiving!"

"There's my sugar lump!" Mom said completely ignoring April and I and looking at Ayla only. "Oh, Honey misses you so much, sweet girl! Did you have a big day? When are you two bringing my girl back home?!" Now she acknowledged us...

"We're coming home Sunday," April replied. "Did you guys have a good day?"

"We had a wonderful day," Mom said. "We miss you three! Have you enjoyed seeing your family, dear? I know they have enjoyed time with you." I grew in this woman's womb and she had yet to address me. It's all about the girls with Mom.

"We have had a nice time. It's been busy, but nice to see everyone." April readjusted Ayla so Mom and Richard could see her better. "Do you see Chief?" April asked her pointing to the screen. "And Honey!"

A smile spread across her face when she finally noticed where the voices were coming from. This one had those two eating out of her hand. I'd most likely been bumped right out of the will. "Hi Mom, Richard!" I said.

"We knew you were there, Jackson," Mom said. "And we love you too. You know we have to see our girls first, though." Oh did I ever. I got it. They were my favorite people too.

"How was Thanksgiving back in Seattle?" April asked.

"We went to Owen and Amelia's," Mom replied. "Meal was great! We had a lot of in and out as people were going and coming from the hospital, but we had such a nice time. Of course, everyone missed the three of you!"

"I don't know what Amelia did to that turkey, but it was excellent." Richard. Random as hell. You had to love him. "I think it was the brine she used. Not sure. April, you are the cook in our family so you need to ask her."

April laughed. "I definitely will!"

If I didn't make sure this was a quick call, Mom and April would start talking about something and I'd miss my window of opportunity to end it. "Ok, well we were just calling to say hello to you guys! We better get off here and get this one to bed!"

"Ok, sweetheart," Mom smiled. "We're so glad you called so we could see our baby girl!" Whole time Richard still looking confused about how the call was working. Never failed. "Can't wait to have you back here! We love you!"

"We love you too," I replied. I waited for April, Mom, and Ayla to finish up their farewells, which is another reason I had to get a move on ending this call. You never could get either of them off the phone.

I put my iPad on the table next to my side of the bed and quickly laid down. I wasn't wasting any time. I took Ayla from April and held her above my head, bringing her down to kiss her little nose before holding her up again. She squealed out as I did it again. "You're gonna get her all excited doing that and she's not going to settle..."

I brought her down and kissed all over her face getting a laugh in response. "I love you," I told her. "Now go see Mommy so I can sleep." April playfully kicked my leg under the covers.

I closed my eyes as they got settled next to me. There was a time in my life when I could never imagine having to deal with other people crashing in my bed every single night. Now not having someone all up in my space kept me awake. I turned on my side and opened my eyes to see April on her side facing me reading a book on her phone while Ayla was busy nursing.

"She always does that," I laughed. "Holds your hair." Every single night when she nursed to sleep she held onto April's hair. I'd noticed it a while back, but never thought to mention it.

April looked away from her phone. "Why do you think I sleep with it down? Not because I like the rat nest I have to deal with the next morning. I would have also cut it already if I knew it wasn't one of her things." Try telling me this baby isn't spoiled.

I closed the gap between us and threw my arm around April nestling Ayla in between us. "It's one of my things too," I said burying my face in her hair as I took over her pillow. "Are you texting with your boyfriend?"

"Yeah," April replied nonchalantly as she propped her arm on my shoulder and continued reading whatever book it was on her phone that had her attention. "He says Happy Thanksgiving."

I quietly laughed. "Don't send him any boob shots, ok?" I was already feeling myself getting sleepy. Amazing how having these two in my arms fixed every problem I had.

"Sure," she replied. "Wanna take a selfie to send him?"

"Shut up," I laughed. I kissed the top of her head without lifting my head or opening my eyes.

Too damn tired.

* * *

We were standing around outside waiting for Karen and the photographer to redo the entire picture setup they'd planned. All Karen told April was to bring Ayla's Christmas dress. They'd discussed this picture plan no further.

I didn't know much about baby clothes, other than Ayla had enough to clothe every baby in Seattle, but I did know when I saw that Karen had planned for the pictures to be taken in the yard that we had a problem seeing as how 99% of Ayla's dress was white.

"Mom, I'm sorry," April said holding Ayla. "I should have asked you indoors or outdoors. I could have brought something else for her."

"Oh do not apologize," Karen replied. "I should have asked you what her dress looked like."

"Gorgeous!" Libby said. "This is beautiful, where did you get it?" I actually had no clue where she found it so I was about to learn something too. I recall her showing it to me before she ordered it, but other than _"That's nice, babe..."_ I never have many thoughts beyond that.

"I had it made by someone I found in Seattle," April replied. "Then I actually sent it to Mrs. Hendrix, you remember the one we used to go to Church with? She did the smocking for me." I guess that is what the stitching at the collar was called. See, I know nothing about all this. "She actually did three for me. I didn't want her in the same dress in this picture, Jackson's Mom's Christmas pictures, and our pictures. My favorite is the one she'll have on in our Christmas card picture." So we'd apparently bought three of these...

Kimmie came out of the house with her three boys all dressed in their Sunday best. Start the clock on how long it takes them to ruin everything they're wearing. "Jacob, you sit down right here, young man!" Jacob was the oldest, followed by Eli and Luke. Cute kids, but all boy. Still, Kimmie tried hard to make them act like little men. Didn't always succeed, but she tried.

"Oh look at her," Kimmie said coming toward us with her hands out to take Ayla. "Look how beautiful you are!" Ayla actually let Kimmie take her but she kept her eyes glued to April, daring her to move an inch. Like I said, in new situations she was cool long as she could see one of us. Also, in a crazy turn of events, this child actually had April and Kimmie being civil to one another. That was the Christmas miracle in my book. "Where did you get your little gold bracelet? It's so tiny!"

That I could take credit for. "Her Daddy got it for her," April replied. "The first thing he bought her after she was born and we knew she was a girl." Hey, you didn't think I was going to let some other guy be the first one to buy her jewelry, did you? No chance in Hell.

"Girls are so fun," Kimmie pouted. "I love my boys, but all this stuff looks so fun!" Not on your bank account, but in every other way, sure!

"Ok, we're ready!" Karen announced. They had taken a few things from the very elaborate setup Karen had probably spent a month on and set up something very simple on the front porch. Personally, I thought less was better here. "I'm thinking Jacob needs to sit in the rocking chair and can hold Ayla. Then Eli and Luke can stand on either side of them. That sound like a plan?"

"I think that will be the best way to do it," the photographer agreed. The poor woman had no idea what she was getting into agreeing to take pictures of the Kepner grands. I was just thankful these four meant Karen no longer cared to have pictures of her own kids and their husbands.

The kids filed up onto the porch and did just as they were asked. To all be under 10 years old, they cooperated well. I would have probably been hanging from the rafters at their ages. April took Ayla from Kimmie and followed the boys up so she could hand Ayla to Jacob. "You have about an hour window here," I said coming up to stand by the photographer. I wasn't a sugar coater. I knew my child. In an hour she was going to be looking for food. "Maybe 45 minutes."

"Hold her really tight, ok? Sometimes she likes to wiggle around." April said to Jacob as she fixed Ayla's dress the way she wanted it. The poor kid looked scared to death. Which was good. When you were holding my princess you needed a healthy dose of fear in you.

"Luke! Eli!" Kimmie shouted. "Get closer to your brother, we have to do this quickly. Ayla is a baby, she doesn't understand things like you three do. When I tell you to look at Gina and smile, you do that. That is the only job you have right now, understand?" You could tell she had boys. I was used to my wife, who was the sweetest Mom ever to our daughter. Kimmie was drill sergeant Mom, but it seemed to work.

April hopped off the porch and went to stand by the photographer. "Ayla! Hey, look at Mommy! Ayla..." Nope. Wasn't gonna do it. She'd noticed Joe's cows over in the pasture standing near the fence and was in a trance. I couldn't blame her. It's not every day you see actual livestock in real time. The first couple times I came here all I could do was stare in amazement as well. "Ayla..." April called to her again, this time clapping her hands.

"The cows, babe..." I said.

"Dad, why do you have the freaking cows over here?" April snapped at Joe. "She's not going to look at us if they are over there!"

Joe looked over calmly, "Well April I tried to tell them we were doing pictures out here and to stay away, but they don't listen very well." Never cracked a smile. I liked Joe. Have I said that?

"Jackson, go stand over to the side and block her view," April instructed.

I asked no questions. I just did as I was told. I walked up onto the porch and arranged myself just to the side of the kids. Close enough to block Ayla's view of anything much beyond where I stood, but far enough back so I wouldn't be in the way. "Ayla," I heard April call. "Look at Mommy!" Alice, Libby, and Kimmie gathered around the photographer and April and joined in trying to get her attention.

Next thing I knew she was looking up at me and smiling. "Ayla, no," April said. "Don't look at Daddy."

"Look at Mommy," I said to her as I pointed to April. "Look at Mommy, Ayla." Nope. She kicked her legs, excited that I was talking to her and squealed in response. Never did look in April's direction, though.

"Boys, keep looking this way and smiling," Kimmie shouted. "If we ever get her to look this way so help me if it is one of you that ruins the picture!"

Ayla was still looking up at me happy as could be. "Look at Mommy," I told her again.

"Let's replace Jackson with the other guys," Karen suggested. "Brian, Paul, Josh...come over here and stand side by side where Jackson is to block her from seeing the cows. Jackson, you come over here with April. Maybe she'll look at both of you." Our almost 5-month-old had a group of 11 adults struggling out here.

April's brothers-in-law lined up on the porch as they were told and I jumped down to go stand with April. "Ayla," I called as I whistled to get her attention. "Hello...Ayla! Ayla Avery. Over here. Hello!" Now she was just ignoring my ass.

"Ayla, look at Mommy and Daddy," April said to her.

She looked at us, but stuck her bottom lip out and decided she was going to throw some drama in our direction rather than a smile. We could take our Christmas cheer and shove it as far as she was concerned. "Ayla," April laughed. She was frustrated, but all you could really do was laugh.

"Hey," I said walking up to stand in front of the porch where she sat. "Hey!" I made a face at her. Yup. 34 years old out here making faces at my baby to coax a smile out of her. "Where's that smile, huh? Can you smile for me?"

I saw a grin start about the same time my wife started screaming at me to move. "Jackson, move! Move!" I moved as quick as I could but apparently not quick enough.

"Oh we almost had it," the photographer said. "Can we try it again? Maybe you just get out of the way faster?" I wasn't sure how fast I could get out of the way. The knees aren't what they used to be.

"When she smiles just hit the ground, honey." I turned around and glared at April. I'd probably leave Ohio in a wheelchair, but at least Karen would have a cute Christmas card. "We're not far from Callie if you mess something up!"

"Really, April?" I said before I turned around to get on with take two.

"Boys, do not look away from Gina," Kimmie instructed. "We have got to get this if Ayla cooperates!" They were cooperating perfectly. They probably knew it was easier to do as their Mom said rather than argue with her.

"Hey!" I said getting Ayla's attention. "Will you smile for Daddy? Huh? Can I see that pretty smile?" I was getting the big bright-eyed stare, but no smile yet. "Ayyylllaaaaa," I said slowly. We were having a standoff of sorts. She knew what she was doing. "Can you do it? Can you smile for Daddy?" Soon as I saw it begin I hit the ground.

"Perfect!" The photographer said. "That was perfect, guys!"

I'll point out my wife never acknowledged my ass laid on the ground. She was too busy flipping out over how perfect the picture was. "Jackson, get up and come see this!"

I quickly got up, dusted myself off, and went to take Ayla from Jacob. He had done a good job but at any time was probably going to remember he was 10 years old and holding a baby wasn't as easy as he'd been told. "Come here, Bug!" Of course, she smiled when I took her from Jacob. "You're something else, you know it?" I kissed her cheek as I walked over to see the only picture that would be happening. This lady better make sure she took care of it.

"It's perfect," Karen smiled. "Joe, I want this one to put above the fireplace. What do we have up there now? I want the same size."

"I think a 20x24," he replied. He was about to drop some serious cash, but there is no reasoning with these woman.

April kissed Ayla's hand as I came to stand by her so I could finally see the picture. "Girl," she said. "You made us work for that one, didn't you?" _Us?_

The photographer laughed, "She made her Daddy work for that one." _Thank you, mam. Thank you._

"She did," April laughed. "Well, at least we know what we have to do for your Mom's pictures!"

"How are you with Photoshop?" I asked the photographer as I received a jab in my side compliments of my wife. Maybe our friends and family wouldn't notice Ayla looked the same in all three pictures.

Not a bad idea if you ask me...


	13. Chapter 13

**I'll start by apologizing for this update taking so long. I must admit inspiration has been an issue what with this season of Grey's, but I should do better about channeling that frustration here, haha. I'm also expecting a baby in March and that has kept me busy. Regardless, I'm sorry for the wait and hopefully I still have a couple readers out there. :-)**

* * *

When it came to our family, we had never been known for our ability to plan.

Last minute decisions were more of our thing, especially when it came to big life situations

We were still standing so it must work for us, but it does nothing to eliminate stress in our lives. It only makes it worse, but we never learn. The latest decision was no different.

It was a week before Christmas and we had not stopped since arriving back home from Ohio. We launched right into a month packed with everything you could possibly relate to Christmas. Don't believe me? Well, here goes:

The first order of business upon returning home was to have our pictures made for Christmas cards. I was under the impression Ayla was to be the only subject of these photos. I was wrong. We'd not had any taken since this same photographer did family pictures for Ayla's birth announcements. Clearly, it was time for more. A photographer came, pictures happened, and the proofs showed up. My Mother and April's favorite was one of the three of us, so that is why those of you that received a card have to look at my smiling ass until your cards come down.

For those that didn't receive one. _Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Love Jackson, April, and Ayla Avery_. Same sentiment, no picture of me to deck your halls with, it's a win-win for you.

Next, it was time to decorate. In year's past, April and I may or may not have put a Christmas tree up. It really depended on how busy we were at work. The new Trauma guy was finally finished with all of his training, had gotten his family all settled here in Seattle, and was ready and willing to work as much as possible. Due to that, my wife had actually cut back even more at work during the month of December. Well, cut back on long workdays. She wanted to spend as much time with Ayla as possible during her 1st Christmas and everyday she came up with 4,000 things she needed to do.

She had picked up several labs where she taught Interns _typically, this fell to the residents, but not always_ that only lasted a few hours in the morning. She'd also taken several consults. Oh, and she had covered the ER a couple times for several hours. So she had been working, don't let me lie, but not lengthy 12 to 16 hour shifts. _It must be nice._

Everything looked great! No kidding. I'm not much for any type of decor, but apparently if given plenty of time, April could make an ordinary living room look like a magazine picture. The only problem with that was we now had a 5-month-old and she had mastered the art of rolling. She also loved the tree. If you didn't watch her constantly, you'd put her on her playmat and next thing you knew she was underneath the tree pulling on the branches, trying to open presents, etc. If I had a dollar for every time April or I had to get her out from underneath the tree, none of us would have to work another day in our lives.

Next up, Christmas shopping. I'd rather you beat me in the head with a brick as opposed to making me go shopping. The most I ever did in the way of shopping was throw some stuff in a cart online and have it shipped to my front door. I wasn't about to old school it and track my ass to the mall. Well, except for this year...I'd been to the mall this year. April insisted that I be involved in picking Ayla's Christmas gifts out. It made sense, I admit, so I went without too much of a fight.

Speaking of Christmas gifts, next on the list? Santa Claus. Ayla was only 5 months old, but April insisted she go meet the fat guy in the red suit like every other child in the city of Seattle. A whole group of us made plans and went on the same evening to get this done. The only children that behaved were Zola and Sofia. Meredith purchased a picture with a well behaved Zola, a pissed off Bailey, and a screaming Ellis that Meredith plopped in Santa's lap and never looked back. I guess by the time number three has arrived you just figure they'll get over it. Arizona was fortunate enough to get a picture of Sofia that was actually good. Ayla? Well, she refused to allow me to hand her to Santa. I can't say that I blame her, but as far as I was concerned the solution wasn't for dear ole Dad to be in the picture also.

My wife had way way WAY too much fun with that. I'm pretty certain everyone close to us had received a wallet sized photo of my 34 year old ass standing there holding Ayla next to Santa. Payback is a bitch. That is all I'm going to say.

If all of that wasn't enough, our group had carted all the kids to the Zoo to see their light display, gone to see the Christmas ship parade, went to a Gingerbread Village at one of the hotel's here in town, and attended a Christmas play Sofia was in at her school.

However, NONE of the aforementioned could even come close to the torture I subjected myself to when I, trying to be a good husband, got April tickets to see _The Nutcracker_ (no pun) on opening night and attended with her. Not only did I have to stuff my ass in a suit to attend the damn thing, but it went on for two days. I swear it. Every time I would think it was almost over, another Act would begin. I was actually jealous of my infant daughter, who was spending the evening with my Mother and Richard.

A week later, when the damn Ballet ended, April mentioned that she couldn't wait to start a tradition by taking Ayla every year when she was a little older. Now I love my baby girl, but I'm just not sure I can do that once a year. Maybe she meant a Mother and Daughter tradition. Or Grandmother, Mother, and Daughter. I'd pay Mom's ass to go in my place.

So all of the above was how we'd spent our December so far and we still had a week to go before Christmas. I'm sure April had it packed full of things to do.

I was just pulling up to Mom and Richard's when I saw Richard come in the drive behind me. We both had a long day at work and apparently escaped at the same time. April had called earlier in the day telling me she and Ayla were hanging out with Mom all day so they could cook for the work Christmas party. Unless I wanted to go home to an empty apartment, this is where I could find them.

"Busy day, huh?" Richard asked as we walked through the garage to the door.

"Sounds like your day went like mine did," I replied.

I heard the music before I walked into the house behind Richard. There in the middle of the kitchen stood my Mother, with Ayla in her arms, dancing around to "Jingle Bells". I cannot make this stuff up. I quickly made eye contact with April and was relieved to see the same look in her eyes. I thought Richard was getting ready to side with us, but before I could say anything to him, he had danced over to where Mom stood with Ayla and joined in.

"There's nothing we can do for Ayla," I said as I wrapped my arms around April and gave her a kiss. "But we can still save ourselves if we go now."

April laughed and smacked my hand away from one of the cookies she was decorating. "Hey, she loves it. She thinks Honey is the coolest person ever." I looked over and saw the biggest smile on Ayla's face. I guess this is what you got to do when you were old enough to have Grandchildren. Act completely insane and have them think you were awesome.

"Next month should be interesting," April smiled as she continued icing cookies.

Oh yeah.

That.

I seem to have gotten off subject. Either that, or my brain was trying to preserve what little sanity I have left after the events of the past couple weeks.

As most everyone knows, when I became an actual surgeon and started making more than pocket change, I decided to get myself an apartment. A nice apartment. One that didn't depend on roommates and had stuff I probably didn't need but definitely wanted. I looked around for a while and finally settled on the perfect one.

When April and I married, we decided to keep mine and move her out of the one she was living in. We'd talked about moving a time or two, but there was always that nagging _what if_ in the back of both our minds. _What if_ we didn't stay in Seattle for good? _What if_ in a year we decided we wanted to see what the rest of the country had to offer? _What if_ one of us got a job offer elsewhere? All those _what if's_ are the reason we still remain there today. It's been a great first home for us, but now that we have Ayla, Seattle looks more and more permanent.

I mentioned renewing our lease next month in passing one morning over breakfast. Not to start a conversation, just as an _"Oh, by the way..."_ type thing. It was then that April mentioned looking for a house. We had been throwing money away paying rent for years, we now had a child to consider, and she felt like it was time for a change. It isn't that I disagreed with her, but the decision to buy a house probably doesn't need to come at the 11th hour.

When I say we're last minute people. I mean that.

We proceeded with everything on our end and got ourselves the nice deadline of January 1st to be out of our place. Rather than start packing, April didn't want Ayla's 1st Christmas photos to have moving boxes in the background, so starting December 26th it was going to be a rush to the finish line. All hands on deck.

You may be wondering what the problem is. What's so bad about moving to a new house?

We don't have a new house.

As of January 1st, we're _technically_ homeless. April doesn't like when I say that, but it's true.

We had looked at several homes in various areas of Seattle. I was more a heart of the city guy, but I had resigned myself to the fact that suburbia is where I would spend the rest of my years. April wanted some distance from where we currently lived. She wanted a yard for Ayla to play in. She wanted a good school system close by. She basically wanted us to live like the young family we are. The days of newly married professionals that come and go at all hours were long gone.

One house we were interested in was near Meredith's. She lives in a good location. Hell, April and I had lived there at one time. The commute wasn't bad, neighborhood good, so why not? There was another house on Mercer Island that gave us a bit longer of a commute, but April loved it. We were also closer to Mom and Richard if we went with that one. We'd toured both and were ready to put an offer in. Only problem was she wanted to make an offer on one and I wanted to make an offer on the other.

In the meantime, we were going to be living with Mom and Richard. Yeah, you heard that right. Not a mistake. I had suggested a hotel, but Mom wouldn't hear of it. You would have thought I cursed the day she was born when I suggested we take her little angel to a hotel for an undisclosed amount of time. I could tell April wasn't exactly excited about that idea either. Meredith had offered us a room at her house. Everyone else had lived there at one point or another, so I figured Ayla might as well give it a go. Nope. Arizona had offered, but she was back into the dating world, and nothing ends an evening quite like a married couple and their infant waiting on you when you got home.

So we had offers. We knew we wouldn't be living on the streets or out of an on call room, but for some unknown reason April said she would be more comfortable staying with Mom and Richard. Made sense, I suppose. April would be home during the day way more than I would, and it would be a little awkward hanging out at someone else's house...especially if they weren't family.

If I can find a silver lining in this, it's that I know for a fact there will be no dragging ass on finding a house. I was working on it. I loved my Mom dearly, but the thought of living with her for an extended period of time lit a fire under my ass like never before.

"Ok," I said, walking over to Mom and taking Ayla from her. "You've had her long enough." She squealed out as I held her in my arms. She immediately put her little hands on either side of my face and tried to put my nose in her mouth. Ayla's version of kisses. You had to love her.

"Are you giving Daddy love?" Mom asked her. "Oh, she's so sweet. I just can't get enough!"

I'm sure you've all figured out by now that Mom was loving this arrangement. LOVING it. I don't think she had a single trip back to Boston planned the entire month of January. Richard was happy, April was happy, hell, even Ayla was happy. Me? Well, let's just say I never saw myself living with my Mom again. Ever. For any reason. Even if I became completely impaired and unable to do anything for myself...there were long term care facilities for that sort of thing.

"Have we decided where we're having Christmas?" Mom asked. When it comes to a family of doctors, you might have Christmas at home, or you might have it in passing at the hospital. You never knew from year to year.

"I say we do it here," April suggested. "We'll bring most of her gifts that night so we won't have to repack those two days later." Good thinking, but I really didn't want to think about packing the apartment up. I'd decided just to hang out in denial for a while longer.

"I think that is a great idea," Mom replied. She would. "Will Christmas Eve night work for everyone? Richard, have you talked to Maggie?" I may have mentioned this before, but there is a very real possibility that I haven't. Maggie is Richard's daughter. By Ellis Grey. Whom he had an affair with. If you're keeping up then you've realized Meredith's half sister is my stepsister. It never stopped being weird around here.

"She'll be here," he answered. He had already found the newspaper and was sitting at the table lost in some article. "Christmas Eve night?"

"You know we have Church that night," I said. In the beginning, religion had been a hot button issue for April and me. Many fights had taken place over that very subject. We'd since learned how to navigate through it and were able to find a mutual respect for what the other believed. April had a Church here in Seattle, but she rarely went to services. Instead of going every Sunday morning, she kept up through podcasts. It worked for her. A few times a year, though, she wanted to physically be in the Church building and Christmas Eve happened to be one of those times.

"That's right," Mom nodded. She had gotten better about the whole deal also. No plans were being made to go with us, but she'd long ago shelved any opinions she had on the topic. "What time will service end, dear?"

April looked up from where she continued decorating cookies. "About an hour at the most. It starts at 6:00, so we should be able to get here by 7:30 at the latest. This is Candlelight service."

You'll never hear me admit this again, so listen up. I didn't really mind going to Church on Christmas Eve. My beliefs aside, it was nice. There was something about standing in a dark Church with only candlelight while listening to Christmas music that made it feel like...well, Christmas. You didn't have to be religious to appreciate that. Also, there was no way I was missing any part of Ayla's 1st Christmas.

"That's perfect," Mom smiled. "Then I suppose you want Christmas Day to just be for the three of you?" Typical Mom. You give her Christmas Eve and she wants Christmas Day too. I love her, but damn.

Before I could confirm for her that yes, we did just want the actual holiday to be for us, my lovely wife had to speak up. "Actually," she said. "We'll have the early morning for us, so why don't you come over for brunch? I don't want you guys not getting to see her on Christmas. Maggie is welcome to come if she wants." She'd end up inviting the whole neighborhood before this was over with.

"I think she's working Christmas Day," Richard said. "I'll be sure to tell her, though." This was the first year I could recall Maggie not going home to visit her parents, so we probably did need to put forth some effort.

"Is my sweet girl excited for Christmas?" Mom asked, coming in my direction. Baby snatcher. She reached out to tickle Ayla's foot and immediately got a squeal out of her. "Is she ready for Christmas?" I handed her over. Resistance was futile. I watched as Ayla laid her head on Mom's shoulder and snuggled into her. I'd lost complete control over this kid. "Now you get over there and help your wife with those cookies."

"I'll eat them," I replied. "Not decorating them."

I could tell by the look on April's face that she was as doubtful of my ability to decorate cookies as I was. "You can do the sprinkles," she said as she handed them in my direction. "Not too many. You don't want it looking like a Kindergartner did this."

And here I launched into yet another Christmas activity.

I needed December 26th real bad.

* * *

You have no idea just how many things completely change once children come along. Until I had one, I was oblivious to just how different life would be. Things you wouldn't even think about changing did just that. The annual Christmas party was one of those things.

The tradition started years ago while we were all in our Residency. Most of us were stuck here for the holiday due to work. You don't think about it being depressing until you see the rest of the world gearing up for a holiday that you'll celebrate at work. We decided that planning one night to forget work and celebrate might take the edge off, so that is exactly what we did.

The first couple years, it was pretty low key. It was always held at Meredith's, everyone contributed to the food and alcohol, and we drew names weeks before the event so we could exchange gifts. Like I said, simple.

Once we became Attendings it changed a bit. We had more control over our schedules and we had more money. The few children in our group were sent off to sitters and the night went on as planned. As each year passed the more out of control it became.

The most memorable year was the first year April and I were married. We invited people we normally didn't invite, for some reason Meredith hired a DJ, and we had more alcohol than Joe's had in their entire inventory. To say it got festive at the Shepherd residence would be an understatement.

Cristina Yang danced on every surface of the place _including doing the "Macarena" and legend goes we all joined in, but I don't recall that_ , Bailey decided to drunkenly read the Christmas story to everyone _which I'm pretty sure should've been frowned upon_ , we were serenaded with a medley of Christmas songs by the most unlikely pair of the evening...Alex and April, and we all spent the night sleeping in various parts of the house because no one would've made it home alive.

There were also other memorable occurrences that evening such as my wife consuming her weight in alcohol and telling me she was a "sure thing" when I refilled her cup _as if we were just on a date_ before hauling my ass into a bathroom and having her way with me. I'm not complaining. Even if once sober, she discovered we'd had sex in Zola's bathroom and I had to listen to her shame for the next month. I'm still not complaining.

Since that year, we'd experienced a lot of changes in our group. Derek was gone, Cristina had moved, and we'd blown out more kids than I ever believed possible. If you'd told me when I met these idiots that most of us would be parents one day I would have laughed in your face. Us? Parents? Come on.

For that reason, the annual Christmas party had once again returned to low key. It really wasn't practical to ship all the kids off to a babysitter. Not that anyone in the state of Washington was desperate enough for cash to watch them all at once. We still had it at Meredith's, but now rather than a DJ and alcohol, we sat around eating and watching kids play. Rather than exchanging gifts with one another, we only brought gifts for the kids. It had basically gone from being _our_ Christmas party to _their_ Christmas party.

We were currently drowning in a sea of tissue and wrapping paper on Meredith's living room floor. Well, the women were. We men had found spots on higher ground. I was currently camped out on the couch with a plate of dessert while April sat on the floor between my legs with Ayla in her lap opening gift after gift.

"April, here is another one for Ayla," Meredith announced as she sent yet another package in our direction. We didn't need one more damn thing to take home. I saw April hold the latest toy up over her head for me to take and add to the pile next to me on the couch before she took the next one from Meredith."Thanks!" I yelled out. Whoever got it for her better have heard me.

"Jackson," Miranda called from across the room. "Do not eat that piece of caramel pie I put on your plate. That was the last piece and I promised it to April."

I looked down and saw I had devoured about 75% of it. I quickly got a bite on my fork and leaned forward, "Hey babe," I said, holding the fork in front of her face so she could take a bite. "Bailey's caramel pie. She only put this bite on my plate."

"Jackson Avery!" Bailey scolded. She couldn't get to me, though. Too much shit in the floor for her to risk coming over to smack me.

"Look, Ayla!" April said as she showed her yet another toy. "We don't have one of these! I can't believe they still make them!" I had no idea what the hell it was. One thing I can say for April is that she could open 100 gifts and still manage to sound just as enthused as when she started the whole way through. "Wait just a second," April laughed. Ayla was reaching for the box. Not to get the toy out, but to try and eat the box. Everything went in her mouth these days. "Let's get Daddy to put batteries in it for you."

Yet another box came over her head for me to take. This one was a stuffed worm of some sort. Creepy as hell. Oh well. I wasn't here to give my opinion. I was here to get stuff out of boxes and put batteries in. Period.

"It's a Gloworm!" Sofia announced. Whatever that is.

"Did you know I had one of those when I was a little girl?" April asked her. The kid looked amazed. I guess as far as the young ones were concerned, we really were old as hell. "I bet your Mom had one too!"

Arizona smiled. "I told you they had them back then, Sofia. I did have one and you didn't believe me!"

Sofia laughed before running off to rejoin Zola across the room. "How old do they really think we are?" Arizona asked.

"Old," I replied. "Tuck didn't believe us when we told him they had Transformers back in our day, did he, Ben?" Optimus Prime was the shit long before their little asses came along. We were the original fanbase.

"No, he didn't!" Ben replied. "And when I showed him some old pictures of me with all my Transformers, he had the nerve to say they were dumb compared to the ones out now."

"Unbelievable," I replied. "Unbelievable. You know, they don't appreciate anything these days. Ayla, you don't appreciate anything these days."

April stood and handed her in my direction. "Go appreciate Daddy for a little bit. Mommy is going to help clean up. And give me that," she snapped, taking my dessert plate.

"Hey baby girl," I said as I took her from April. I brought her to my face and kissed her chubby cheeks. As soon as she realized the transaction happened, she started to whimper. "Hey, no..." I said as I sat her in my lap facing me. "I'm not hearing the drama. No, I'm not!" At that I got a toothless grin and knew I'd successfully distracted her from April handing her off. At least at this age she had the attention span of a gnat.

"She's a Mommy's Girl, huh?" Ben asked as he reached over to take her hand.

"Most of the time," I replied. The week prior April had gotten called in to help Owen out with an emergency. Not only had his call interrupted Ayla's morning nap, but she was hungry not long after April dropped her off by our clinic in the hospital where my practice sees patients. Without a bottle, mind you. When I tell you she screamed the entire time, I am not exaggerating. Everyone from the office receptionist to my nurse to one of my partners and fellow surgeons walked her around. The only thing that worked was the return of Mommy. I love her, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't ready to hand her tiny butt off the second I saw my wife come through the door.

Ayla worked on chewing one of the toys she'd gotten as we sat watching the women pick up all of the wrapping paper. The other kids had been in and out of the room, but had finally settled upstairs in Zola's room to watch a movie. Only Ellis remained downstairs. The two babies not allowed upstairs with the big kids. I watched as Amelia scooped her up and came into the living room. "Hey Mere," she said. "When do we need to bring all of their, you know..."

I had quickly learned that _you know_ was code for Santa gifts hid out at a childless couple's home. Owen and Amelia's house was the hiding spot for the Shepherd kids. Alex and Jo's place was the hiding spot for Sofia's loot. Fortunately, we didn't have to worry about that this year.

"I'll call after they are asleep Saturday night. Is that ok?"

"Sure," Amelia replied. "Owen has put their bikes together. Against my better judgment. Their Aunt a Neurosurgeon and I'm contributing to what will no doubt be head trauma when they fall off of them on the sidewalk."

I held my drink up in Amelia's direction. "I hear you! Plastic surgeon. This one," I said, pointing to Ayla. "Getting a rocking horse from Mom and Richard that she'll probably face plant off of when she's old enough to play on it."

"Would you two stop?!" Meredith scolded. "Kids have to be kids! Besides, my kids Uncle and your daughter's Mother...Trauma Surgeons. We're good!"

Arizona came back in from the kitchen holding a plate of food. "Don't judge me. And what are we good about?"

"Amelia thinks the kids are going to fall off their bikes and crack their heads open!"

Arizona laughed, "Oh please. Broken bones are far more likely! They have helmets, right?"

"Crap," Meredith said wide eyed.

Amelia rolled her eyes, "Thanks to Aunt Amelia and Uncle Owen they do!"

Arizona looked at Meredith, "You seriously forgot bicycle helmets?"

"Hey," Meredith replied. "You buy for one. I buy for three!"

"Oh, that is no excuse to forget helmets," Bailey said as she came back in from the kitchen where she'd been cleaning up. I saw April behind her and knew the second Ayla realized Mommy was back in the room she'd be trying to launch herself out of my arms. "Come to Auntie Bailey," she said, holding her arms out to take Ellis.

April walked over and took Ayla back before sitting down in my lap. "We probably need to get going," she said quietly. Did I mention how things had changed? I really wanted to stress that. Get it all out of your system before baby arrives. It wasn't even 10PM yet and we were already thinking about going to bed. The mighty had fallen.

"Oh, don't go," Arizona whined. "Alex, Jo, and Maggie are in the backyard setting up the screen! Christmas movie around the fire pit!" We'd gone from wild parties to watching a Christmas movie on a huge screen in the backyard. I guess that really was more our speed these days.

"Let me see that baby," Bailey said, walking over and holding out her arm to take Ayla on her other hip. Soon as April handed her over the crying started. Bailey tried gently bouncing her with no result. Poor Ellis even reached over to pat her head. "Ayla Avery," Bailey soothed. "I am not that bad. No, I'm not."

"Don't be offended," I told her. "Sometimes I get the same reaction."

The second Bailey handed her back to April the crying stopped. "You hurt people's feelings, Ayla," April said kissing her head. "They just want to see you! Bailey is a friend!" Despite the big crocodile tears still rolling down her cheeks, Ayla smiled at April. Mommy always got the big grins.

"See," I said as I wrapped my arms around April. "If I want to hold Ayla, I have to hold both of them." Some days it really wasn't an exaggeration. She'd always been attached to April, but I swear it had gotten worse the past few weeks. Her Pediatrician said it was some separation anxiety starting and it would probably get worse before getting better. They should really make a pill for it.

I watched as Ayla yawned and rested her head on April's chest. I looked up to see April making eye contact with me, letting me know I'd better take charge and be the one to get us out the door. "We'd love to stay, but this one is getting sleepy. If we don't go to bed when she does we'll pay for it tomorrow."

"Oh, alright," Bailey frowned.

"Jackson and April are the first one's down," Ben said loudly.

"Pretty sure Owen will be firmly planted in the REM cycle by the time I get home," Amelia replied. "His shift ended a couple hours ago and he called to say he was going home because he was _just SO tired_."

I laughed. "There was a time I'd make fun of him, but we were in bed by 8:45 a few nights ago."

"True story," April said as she stood so I could pull myself off the couch.

I started gathering all of Ayla's gifts and noticed Ben joining in to help. "I'll get all this, man. You don't have to help."

"I don't mind," he replied.

We stuffed everything into several large gift bags. "Hey babe," I said to April. "I'm going to take this out and start the car so it'll warm up before putting her in."

"Don't forget I have three dishes in the kitchen you need to get."

"Yes, dear," I replied. Always something.

"I'll follow you out," Ben said as he picked up one of the bags and followed me out the front door. "So," he said as we walked. "She has no idea?"

I smiled. "None." Yeah, I had pulled off a pretty good one. We had agreed to keep Christmas gifts simple for one another this year, but I'd lied. "If I can just keep it from her until Christmas morning."

"She's gonna kill you."

"She absolutely will," I said. I opened the trunk and we started stuffing packages in. "Especially when she finds out Mom, Richard, Maggie, and Arizona were all in on it and knew. You know she hates being the last to know something."

Ben laughed and held his fist in my direction. "Well, in case I don't see you again after tonight..."

I knocked his hand out of the way. "It's going to be fine."

Hopefully.

* * *

I sat in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by what must have been a million pieces to one of Ayla's gifts she'd received from "Santa". Not to worry, though, I had some expert help working on things with me.

"Can Daddy have that?" I asked as I took a piece from Ayla, who sat in front of me. Yep, she'd also mastered sitting by herself this month. She was growing too fast. "Thank you."

I was working on building an activity table that I tried to convince April we should wait to put together until we got everything moved out of here. Clearly, that suggestion fell on deaf ears.

"Jackson," April called from the kitchen where she was busy cleaning up with Mom. "Don't let her get choked on any of those little pieces."

I rolled my eyes. Not where she could see, of course, I do have some sense. "No, April. I thought I'd feed her all these loose bolts over here."

"Jackson..."

"Mommy is trippin', Ayla," I said as I took another piece from her that I needed. I saw the bottom lip poke out and I quickly grabbed the nearest thing to me and handed it to her. "Here, hold this for me. Can you do that?" Soon as I saw her little paws take hold of the tape measure I knew we were good. She'd accepted my offering.

"Got this one together," Richard said as he walked in and put the walker Ayla had gotten down next to the tree. "Need help?"

"Sure," I replied. If I wanted to get this put together before the New Year I knew any help offered needed to be accepted. "Instructions are here."

"Oh, we don't need those!"

I looked up and watched as he sat down on the floor near me. There were two billion pieces of this thing and he was convinced we didn't need instructions. Even I wasn't that proud. "Fairly certain we do..."

"No," Richard said as he started picking pieces up. "Most of these parts they put in here we don't even need."

I reached over to pick Ayla and the tape measure she had a death grip on up. "Chief is trippin' now, Bug." I stood to go in the kitchen to grab something to drink and to leave Richard in all his clueless glory. I didn't want to have to build this thing twice, so I'd let him have his fun and then I'd fix it later.

"Hey beautiful girl," Mom said to Ayla. "Come see Honey!"

I laughed as Ayla rested her head against me. Mom got shunned on Christmas. Justice for all the times she'd snatched her out of my arms. "It's ok, baby. I won't hand you over to your crazy Grandma."

Mom popped me on the shoulder as she leaned in to kiss Ayla. "Hey," I said. "Your husband is in there putting that activity table together sans instructions. There is at least a million pieces to it."

"Now you know what it feels like to be married to you," April said.

I glared at her. "Do I need to remind you, Jackson, that you put our bed together without reading instructions? Cause you did."

"It's withstood a lot," I replied. She walked right into that one.

Now she glared back at me. "Really, Jackson? Give me my baby..."

I handed Ayla over as I laughed at her. "Hey April, Mom knows we've had sex before. Mom, did you know April and I have had sex before?"

"Jackson," Mom said as she rolled her eyes. "Hush."

I followed the women back into the living room where we all sat down to watch Richard struggle with Ayla's activity table. If nothing else, it'd keep his mind sharp. Was probably good for him.

"Did we not open everything?" April asked when she finally spotted an unopened gift under the tree. I'd only stuck it under there a couple hours ago. "I know I double checked when we were passing presents out!"

We all did a really good job of looking clueless. I watched her walk over and pick the small box up and read the gift tag attached. "Did you just put this under here?" She asked me.

"Maybe," I smiled.

"Jackson," she said, frustrated. "We agreed we weren't getting one another anything else!" She and I had already exchanged the one gift we promised we would limit ourselves to. Ayla was our gift to one another this year. We didn't need or want anything else.

"Just open it," I replied.

We watched as she opened the box with Ayla's help. Little hands grabbing the bow and wrapping paper as April held her and opened the present. Ayla squealed out. "Hold on," April laughed. "You have to be patient. Mommy is going as fast as she can."

She opened the small box and pulled the contents out. This had been all Maggie and Arizona's idea. They brainstormed, Mom made it happen, and I would be forever grateful to those three. I could tell she was confused. "What is..."

"It looks like a Christmas ornament," Mom said, holding her phone up as she recorded the whole thing.

"Well, I see that!" April laughed. I saw it click on her face before she ever said a word and she immediately started crying. "Is this?!"

"Our new address," I smiled.

"Jackson Avery," she said as she continued crying. "You did NOT do this! What about the one you liked?! We were still discussing!"

I stood from my place on the couch and walked over to wrap her in a hug. "I liked whichever one you liked."

She pulled out of my embrace to look up at me. "No, you didn't! You liked..." She trailed off as the tears kept coming, but they didn't stop her from smacking my arm. "How?!"

I wrapped her back in a hug. "I may have made an offer this week, stressed everyone out, but we pulled it together." The stress part was an understatement. We'd still be staying with Mom and Richard until the middle of January, but this was progress.

"Thank you," she said. "I love you."

"I love you," I said, leaning down to kiss her.

April wiped her eyes. "Did you know about this?!" She asked Ayla, who immediately smiled in response. "Did you know what your Daddy was up to?"

"She's a great secret keeper."

"I've never come so close to killing him," Mom said. This was true. I thought when I came in telling her I'd made an offer on the house, which had been accepted, and we had to get it together so I could tell April on Christmas that she was going to kill me where I stood. "You don't spring that on someone the WEEK of Christmas."

April laughed, "Why all of a sudden?"

"The last time we looked at it," I explained. "I just knew. I watched you as we walked through it and I knew it was the one." It was true, I did prefer the location of the other house better, but I'd drive 100 miles to work everyday if it meant April was happy. Fortunately, this one only added about 5 miles to the commute from the other house.

She stared at the ornament in disbelief. "Was this your idea?" She asked, looking at Mom.

"Oh no," Mom replied. "That was Maggie and Arizona's idea. I did find someone to make it at the last minute. You have no idea how hard it is to find someone that can get an ornament made that has your address engraved on it. Next to impossible!"

"Maggie and Arizona knew?!"

"It took a village, babe," I replied. "The night Arizona pretended to be depressed and asked you to dinner..."

"She's in SO much trouble!" April laughed. "Best friends don't lie to one another!"

"Yeah..." I replied. "They do if it's a favor for the other's husband."

"I know everyone is all excited," Richard piped up from behind us as he tinkered with the pieces to Ayla's activity table. "But remember, we have to pack this place up and move everything twice before you're all settled there."

"Oh Richard..." Mom scolded.

April rested her head on my chest as I kept my arms around both my girls. "You know I'm getting you back for this."

I laughed. I was pretty certain that I was safe after this. "I think I bought myself immunity with this one."

"That's just what you think..."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi to those still hanging in there with me! I apologize for the length between updates. I haven't forgotten this story! Thank you all so much for your sweet reviews. They motivate me even if this season of Grey's hasn't. Though, I'm hearing positive things just may be coming our way?! I hope so! Thanks again for everything and I hope you enjoy!**

 **Also, someone asked if I had any form of social media. I got Twitter so I could communicate better (this site doesn't really seem to have many options), answer any questions, apologize for being so late with stuff, etc. If you're into that, you can find me under "pejapril04" :-)**

* * *

There was a time in my life when business trips didn't bother me. The reasons for them were usually boring, but it was a chance to get away from the pace of the hospital and I could usually talk April into going with me.

Ayla exists because of a business trip. Just saying.

I was currently watching TV in complete silence in my hotel room. I was in Durham, North Carolina to interview a surgeon from Duke that we were interested in. I'm not sure why I was the lucky recipient other than no one else could do it and technically I am in charge.

This would be enjoyable if I had my girls with me. April had to work and she didn't think flying Ayla across the country for such a quick trip was smart. I agree with her, but it still sucks being here without them.

What didn't suck was being away from our living conditions. Yes, we'd found a house, but we wouldn't be ready to move in until the first week in February. My wife decided perfectly decent colored walls just wouldn't do, nor would perfectly good floors. She wants what she wants. We decided to get all the painting done and flooring put in before we moved. Made sense, but extended our stay with Mom and Richard by a couple weeks.

I'd discovered why one never moves back in with their parents once they are out of the house. I'd not lived with my Mom since I was 18 and left for college. The fact that almost 17 years later I found myself back under her roof had been an eye opening experience to say the very least.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Mother and think Richard is a great guy. I respect and appreciate them both very much. However, I was so sick of them hogging all of my Ayla time that I was going to snap. I already lost time being at work, so I tried to be as involved in her nighttime routine as possible. I was tired of sharing those things with the two of them.

One night I had gotten in a little earlier than expected and walked in to see Mom helping April give Ayla a bath. Another night I got home and found Richard feeding her a bottle. The final straw was getting home late and finding Mom rocking her and reading her a book. I know it sounds ridiculous and it's petty, but those were my things to do when I was home and able to do them.

We had to move.

Soon.

Next thing I knew my phone was ringing and I opened my eyes to see 3 hours had passed on the clock next to me. I guess I'd fallen asleep bitching to myself about my living arrangements.

I picked up my phone and saw it was April calling. "Hey baby..."

"Oh, I woke you up. I'm sorry!" I could hear Ayla in the background crying.

"No, no..." I replied. "I meant to call you earlier, but fell asleep. What's the matter with Daddy's girl?"

I heard April sigh. "I really don't know. She's been like this ever since I got in from work." So she'd been forced to take bottles all day while April worked. Some days she was totally cool with it. Other days it was a horrible offense as far as she was concerned. "Your Mom said she was a little cranky today, so I don't know if she's coming down with something or what."

This would happen while I was almost 3,000 miles away from them. "Does she have a fever?"

"No," April replied. "No fever. No congestion. I even had Richard bring home an otoscope so I could look in her ears and they looked fine." Poor baby couldn't hide from much with every adult in her life a Physician. "She's just cranky. It happens!"

April seems to forget from time to time that we've been together in some form for over a decade now. I knew when she was lying. I knew when she was stressed. I knew when she needed me. "I shouldn't have come," I said. "We could have postponed this until someone else could have made the trip. It's an Orthopedic Surgeon for crying out loud! What do I know about that?"

"You know a lot," April said. "And we're going to be fine. You'll be home tomorrow night and I promise we'll make it until then!"

She was right, but that did nothing to calm my nerves. Ayla was still crying and it was all I could do to stop myself from running out of the hotel and to the airport. "I know you'll be fine, April, but I hate that I am literally across the country from her."

I will gladly admit that she owns my ass. My 6 month old daughter owned me. I thought I would resist becoming one of _those_ Dads, but I'd failed. I was the one that missed her every single second I was away from her and counted down the minutes until I was with her again. I was the one that could spend an hour sitting on the floor with her while she chewed on a block. And now I was going to be the Dad that had a panic attack after being away from her for one night.

"Jackson, we're going to be fine," April said. She sounded further away than she had a second before.

"Am I on speaker?"

"Yes," she replied. "I'm walking her around, trying to get her to calm down and maybe go to sleep. Can you not hear me? I'll take you off."

"No," I said quickly. "Do what you need to do with her. I can hear you just fine. Are you sure she doesn't have a fever? You've looked her over from head to toe?" If she was having to walk her around it obviously wasn't getting any better. My mind was coming up with a thousand different scenarios, none of them good.

"Jackson, honey..." She was getting frustrated with me, but I was not used to hearing Ayla like this. She was a happy baby most all of the time. April could always calm her down, even when the rest of us were at a loss. For April to be struggling...

"It's just so unusual that even you can't calm her. I just feel like something is wrong. Have you called Dr. Scott? Hell, I'll call Arizona or Karev if I need to!" Yep, I was well past the point of reeling myself back in.

"Jackson. Listen to me." Well, she'd reel me back even if I couldn't reel myself back in. "She is going to be fine. She doesn't have a fever, I have checked her out, and I don't see anything obviously wrong. I'm going to keep an eye on her and if anything changes, of course I will call someone."

"I know," I said. "I'm just worried. I know you have it under control."

"Listen, let's hang up and I'll FaceTime you, ok? You can see her, will that help?" She was using her voice she uses with crazy people in the ER. My wife officially thought I was out of my mind.

We hung up with one another and I grabbed my laptop from next to me on the bed. I needed to see more of her than my phone screen offered. The second I saw her little face I was both relieved and worse off. I was thankful to see her, but not upset. "Ayla, baby girl, you're breaking Daddy's heart..."

"Do you see Daddy, Ayla?" April asked her as she pointed to my face on the screen. "There's Daddy!"

"Hey Bug," I said getting her attention. "What's the matter, huh?" Maybe this was a poor decision. I watched as she stuck her bottom lip out, getting ready to cry again. "Hey, Ayla," I quickly made a face at her to get her attention. That distracted her enough to stop the new round of tears and I actually got a little smile out of her. "Yeah," I said, laughing. "That's my girl!"

"See?" April said. "Just cranky. Tell Daddy he really needs to stop worrying. It's also like, what? After midnight there?"

I continued making faces at her. If it got a smile out of her, I'd do it all night if I needed to. "Gah, I miss you so much. I'm never doing this again."

April laughed. "I'm never letting you do this again. You're a little, and don't take this the wrong way, ridiculous. I love you though. It's actually one of the millions of reasons I love you, but yeah...you're ridiculous."

"Well, you ramble," I smiled.

Ayla frowned again and started crying. This time making faces, noise, and doing everything I could to distract her didn't work. I watched as April stood from where she'd been sitting and started walking around the room with her once again. "We're just going to be walking, so you need to go to bed. I promise I'll call you if anything changes."

"You can't stay up all night! You worked today!"

"It's called parenthood, babe," she replied. "You've done the same thing many times. I'm off tomorrow, I can sleep when she does, but you can't. We really don't need this guy thinking the guy in charge has been out partying all night."

"Here?" I laughed. "No worries. Where is Mom?"

"They're asleep, Jackson! Listen to me," crazy patient in the ER voice again. "Everything is going to be fine. I can pull an all nighter with her if I need to. I'll call you if anything changes and in the morning. I promise. Just please try to relax and get some sleep."

"Ok, I love you." I agreed to what she suggested even though I knew it was a damn lie. "If anything happens..."

"Jackson," April said. "I love you. She loves you. Please go to sleep."

As much as I hated to do it, I allowed her to say goodbye and disconnect the call. Against my better judgment, I turned the lights out and laid down to attempt to get some sleep. One would think I would sleep like the dead without April and Ayla in bed with me. I was used to tossing, turning, getting up to change a diaper, April getting up to feed, etc. Now I had silence and I was wide awake.

All I could think about was April being awake all night after working all day and having no help. I knew she'd never ask for help even if she was exhausted and needed it. I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind, but it was useless. I grabbed my phone off the table next to the bed.

I quickly dialed and waited for an answer. April would kill me, but oh well. "Mom?!" I said as I heard her pick up the phone. "Hey, Mom..."

"Jackson?" I could tell I just pulled her from a deep sleep. "Honey, what?"

"Ayla's been crying since, well...I don't even know how long and I know April isn't going to get you up if she needs some help, so can you check on her?" I rambled all of that off at lightening speed.

"Ayla's crying?" Mom asked, still confused. "What time is it?"

"Mom," I repeated. "I just talked to April. Ayla has been crying and won't calm down. She did for a second, but then she started back up. Nothing is visibly wrong, but..."

"What's going on? Who is it?" And there was Richard. To think these two used to be really sharp and on top of everything.

"It's Jackson," she told him. "Hush and go back to sleep. Now what is going on? Ayla's been crying, nothing is obviously wrong..."

"She's crying, Catherine," I heard Richard inform her in the background. "I can hear her. Can't you? She's just down the hallway."

"Now I can," she snapped back at him. "I was sound asleep, Richard. I can hear, you know!"

"Could've fooled me!"

"Here," she said. "You talk to him and I'm going to check on them."

"Mom, no..." She was gone before I could get the sentence out of my mouth. I didn't intend for Mom to rush to April's side. I just needed her to do what she does best and lurk around to see if she might be needed.

Richard and I made some small talk while I waited for Mom to report back. Minutes passed, maybe even hours. Ok, so it wasn't hours, but it was long enough. It was then I heard a snore. "RICHARD!" I said loudly. If the rest of us were up, then he needed to be up with us. Plus, he was my eyes and ears for now.

"I'm going to check the situation out….." April would probably have the divorce papers drawn up and ready to go as soon as I touched down in Seattle. "I can still hear her crying. This sounds like a situation for Chief." _I wasn't going to argue, but really?_

I listened as he shuffled around, dropped the phone once, cursed, finally found it and picked it back up and then made his way down the hallway. About the time I heard Ayla's cries grow louder, the chaos started. To have been a fly on the wall when this went down. All at once I heard April say something, Mom yell at Richard, and him start apologizing. "I've got Jackson on the phone!"

"Give me that!" Next thing I knew I was back on the phone with Mom. April was truly going to murder me upon my arrival home. Forget divorce.

"What happened?!" I was a little afraid to ask, honestly.

Mom sighed. "April was trying to get Ayla to eat when Richard came in here. I think we may have a tooth coming in." Leave it to Mom to figure it out. I guess she did have a little experience with children after all.

"Thank you, Jackson," April said in the background. "Because of you freaking out, everyone in this entire house has seen my breasts now!"

"Tell her they are lovely," I said to Mom, trying not to laugh.

"Jackson," Mom warned. "I wouldn't go there if I were you." Probably not the best idea to crack jokes at April's expense at this hour.

"So you think it's a tooth?" That made me feel better. Teeth I could deal with. The list of deadly diseases I'd cooked up in my head since this all started was a different story.

"I'm almost certain," Mom replied. "Her gums are a little swollen on the bottom and she's been chewing on everything and drooling more than usual. I'll bet we're going to see one pop through soon! We've given her some Tylenol."

I still didn't like hearing her upset and it still broke my heart. She eventually quietened down and decided she would eat. The silence was like music to my ears. "You'll stay up until she gets her to sleep?"

"You know I will," Mom replied. "She's going to be just fine, Jackson. She has a whole mouthful of these to come, so you probably need to figure out how you're going to handle it."

"Yeah, yeah…." I said. "Let me talk to April really quick. Thank you for your help." Every once in a while, Mom was helpful.

"You need to go to sleep," I heard before I said a word. I smiled, she was trying to act annoyed, but I knew she was just as thankful to have some idea of what was wrong as I was. "I'm not going to be there to drag you out of bed in the morning."

I laughed. "See? That is why you should have come with me…." It really sucked being here without them, did I say that already? "I love you both. Tonight can't come soon enough."

"We love you too," she replied. "Now, for the tenth time, please go to bed."

Just a few hours sleep, a really boring meeting concerning a surgical field I knew very little about, and a long ass plane ride stood between me and my girls.

I would survive. Maybe.

* * *

I never thought I'd live to see the day.

After what seemed like years in captivity at Mom and Richard's, moving day was finally here.

It was a lovely Saturday in Seattle and I was pretty certain that I was the happiest of our entire bunch. Sure, it might have started at 6:30 in the morning, but we were moving! I was finally getting out of Mom and Richard's house.

I'm sure I sound like an unappreciative asshole. I'm really not. I'm just a guy that desperately needed my family under our own roof. It isn't that our stay had been bad. In many ways, it was nice having extra help with Ayla, but sometimes it was just too much. Listen, things in a marriage change drastically enough when a child arrives. I didn't need those changes amplified by us living with Mom and Richard. Thanks.

I was making what had to be my 50th trip from one of the moving trucks into the house, my joy lessening little by little with each trip. It'd been a wonderful, but long as hell day. As luck would have it, just about every box I picked up went to a room upstairs. I didn't know if I could make one more hike up the staircase.

"Hey," I heard Alex say. "Where you want this?"

"I dunno, ask April." I could tell him a place to put whatever he was carrying, but it probably wouldn't be right and I'd just have to move it again later. We were deferring all questions to the boss lady.

Speaking of my lovely wife, her job the entire day had consisted of walking around with Ayla in her arms while giving orders and directing traffic. The rest of us sweating like we'd ran all way here from downtown and she's looking like she just started her day. I still love her though.

"Jackson, you want me to start putting Ayla's bed together?" Richard asked.

"What for? She's never slept in it!" Yeah, she was still crashing in our bed. I was pretty certain the story would be the same by the time she started Kindergarten, but that was a battle for another day. "Actually, if you could help Joe with our bed?"

Yep, April's parents had flown in for this grand event.

I walked into the kitchen where the women were unpacking boxes and organizing cabinets. Trucks still left to be unloaded, and this bunch decided unpacking plates and whatnot was the thing to do. Ayla was busy chewing on a toy while April hauled her around on her hip as she continued unpacking boxes.

"How's my Ayla?" I asked, watching as she started kicking her legs excitedly soon as she heard my voice. "Yeah! How's my girl?" I took her from April and kissed her cheeks as she tried to chew on my face. Did I mention she was teething? She'd been like a baby piranha as of late. "Here, try this…" I said, putting a teething toy in her mouth.

"Most of downstairs is unloaded, right? I want to get everything we absolutely have to have unpacked before it gets much later." It's a good thing I loved her. A real good thing.

I smiled the most sarcastic smile I could muster. "April…."

She stood on her tiptoes, giving me a kiss, "I know you've been working really hard today. I appreciate it. I just need to know that we're going to have a bed to sleep in before tonight."

"It may be a mattress on the floor, but we'll have somewhere to sleep." I could tell by the look I received that I'd better secure us a sleeping place before nightfall.

"You're welcome to stay at our house again if we don't get everything unloaded today," Mom suggested. Of course she'd be listening for an opportunity to extend another invitation. She and Richard could care less about April and me. They didn't care that we were moving on. Ayla was a different story. Honey and Chief were having withdrawals already.

"We'll have a place to sleep," I replied. We were staying here tonight. End of story. I slowly made my way out of the kitchen with Ayla to check in on everyone else's progress.

Richard and Ben were working with some moving men to get a large piece of furniture in and up the stairs. Alex, a couple of the interns I'd snagged from work, and April's Dad was still hauling boxes. "Hey Jackson, can you help with this?"

I pointed to Ayla in my arms. "Wish I could, but I'm on Ayla duty for a few." The glare I received from Alex let me know he was onto me. I'd already moved most of this once when we got out of our apartment, I deserved a break. "Oh, guys! That goes to the laundry room. It's right that way." I could get used to this ordering people around thing. No wonder my wife was so good at it.

"Da..da...da...da..." Ayla jabbered as she patted the side of my face. Oh yes, she had started saying what I knew was "Dada" and no one would convince me otherwise. I rubbed my nose against hers and got the biggest smile out of her. I was a lost cause when it came to her. Complete lost cause. "What?" I smiled. "What are you telling me?"

I watched as she yawned and saw it was past the time she normally napped when I glanced down at my watch. I decided to forego my traffic directing and walk her around to see if I could get her to sleep. "What you think about our new digs? You're gonna have so much fun here." I walked upstairs and down the hallway to her bedroom.

I opened the door to find the room littered with unopened boxes. The only thing in working order was the rocking chair. I quietly shut the door behind me as I made my way to the chair and sat down with her in my arms. "You know something?" I held my hand open as she kept a firm grasp on a couple of my fingers. "I have no idea what I did right to get you and your Mom. Especially you."

I had this whole idea of what it would be like when I knew I was going to be a Father. Not a single thing from the past 6 months fit that idea. I thought I'd have a boy that loved sports, dirt, and anything that would make this girl of mine run the other way. I never thought I'd be surrounded by pink, dolls, and a world of stuff I knew nothing about.

I turned her around, holding her as she laid her little head on my shoulder. I was right in knowing it was past nap time. I rested my head against hers and quietly rocked as I could tell she was fighting sleep. I wouldn't trade her for anything. Not even the most sports obsessed boy out there.

"When your Mom told me you were on the way," I said. "I was pretty sure you were gonna be a boy. Not sure why I thought that, but I did. Guess that is what I always saw for myself." I gently rubbed her back and could tell by her breathing pattern that she was losing the fight and falling asleep. "You knew better, huh? You knew exactly what I needed."

We rocked a few more minutes, Ayla now asleep, and me thinking about everything she would do and be in her life. The memories that would no doubt be made in this house. I knew no matter what she decided, I'd love and support her unconditionally. There would come a time when she didn't think Dad was so cool and these afternoon chats would send her looking for anything else to do.

Right now, though, she was a 6 month old baby girl that I never saw for myself. Without a doubt, the greatest surprise of my life.

"Are you kidding me?!" The voice of my wife pulled me from the sleep I didn't realize I'd fallen into. I had no idea how long I'd been out, but Ayla was still fast asleep in my arms.

"Shhh," I said quietly.

April closed the door and walked over to sit down in my lap. She gently rubbed Ayla's back, watching her sleep. "If this wasn't so sweet, you'd totally be in trouble for using our baby to go hide out."

"I did no such thing!"

April laughed. "Uh huh. Well, the moving is all done, but the unpacking is all us, buddy."

I made a face at her. We'd hired movers, we should have done the same when it came to unpacking. She better love this place, because I'd decided we were never moving again. Ever. For any reason. April rested her head on my free shoulder. Now I couldn't get up even if I wanted to. I didn't, by the way.

"Who knew those two clueless people from Mercy West would end up here….." It still blew my mind when I thought about it. The strange red haired girl from Ohio. Who knew she'd turn out to be my best friend, soul mate, wife, and mother of my child. I had no idea why the move triggered whatever place in my brain liked to wax poetic, but it had.

April laughed, "Crazy, huh?"

"I'm glad I went with your choice of houses," First and only time I'd admit it.

"Oh, really?" She asked, raising her head to look at me. "You mean you admit this is a better choice for us than your favorite closer to town?" I admitted it, she didn't need to rub it in.

"Yeah," I replied. "She's gonna have so much fun here. Lots of room to run around, lots of space to destroy, huge backyard to play in, good hiding spots when she's in trouble….." It was bittersweet to imagine Ayla growing up, getting older, but it was a privilege that so many didn't get. I was thankful we had a reason to sit around feeling this way.

We sat in silence for a while longer before Ayla woke and lifted her head from my shoulder. "Hey beautiful," April smiled. "Did you help Daddy avoid moving?" Ayla's response was a big grin that showed off her one tiny tooth on the bottom. Cutest damn thing ever. Sharp when she gnawed on you, but cute.

Soon as she was fully awake and realized April was near, she was lunging toward her. She was a Daddy's Girl when Mommy wasn't around. I take what I can get. "Oh, my sweet girl," April said as she held her close. "You're glad Daddy decided to get this house too, aren't you?"

I smiled. It didn't matter where we lived. In the city, outside of the city, in another state, or another country entirely. Hell, we could go to the moon for all I cared. These two I had my arms around, they were all that mattered.

This life better than anything that slightly arrogant, foolishly hopeful, maybe even a bit of an asshole guy that started out at Mercy West all those years ago could have ever imagined.

* * *

We'd been in the new house a couple weeks and it was great for the most part.

The part that wasn't great?

The commute.

Oh, it wasn't terrible, but after being on my feet for hours in an OR, a drive longer than about 10 minutes was enough to send me over the edge. Today had been particularly bad.

I was finally pulling into the garage and I wanted nothing more than to go in, see my girls, and end this day. I was certain Ayla would have other plans for me when it came to eventually shutting my eyes and ending the day, but her ideas are always the best ones.

I walked in to find April cooking dinner and Ayla in her walker rolling around the kitchen. Oh yeah, she was "driving" now and was about as good at it as her Mother is. My toes and ankles had taken a beating since she'd gotten her wheels.

I walked over and gave April a kiss before turning to find Ayla. "Hey speedy," I said to her as she came around the island in the kitchen looking for me. I reached down to pick her up out of the walker, kissing her cheeks once I had her in my arms. "How's my girl today? You have a good day for Mommy?"

"Perfect as always," April smiled. "Tell Daddy he gets to feed you cereal tonight!" We'd not ventured into the world of solids yet, so this was going to be a new experience. Dr. Scott had given the go ahead at her 6 month checkup to start cereal and I was going to do the honors. "She just nursed a bit ago, so I'm going to mix it up and we'll go ahead and feed her if that's ok?"

I nodded, "Yeah, sure, however we need to do it."

I walked over to where April was with Ayla and watched as she prepared this delicacy. "I'm not even gonna ask…."

April laughed, "It's oatmeal mixed with breast milk, Jackson."

"That is not oatmeal." It was basically liquid, which is unlike any oatmeal I've ever consumed, but whatever.

"It's the baby cereal version of oatmeal," she said. "It's supposed to be this consistency."

Soon as April finished mixing the concoction she called oatmeal up, I carried Ayla over to the high chair and buckled her in. She immediately started slapping the tray with her little hands. "You can tell she's an Avery," I joked. "Dinner time!"

April laughed, "I don't think anyone could deny that she's an Avery."

I sat down in front of the high chair and took the small bowl from April who was armed and ready with her phone to document this. "Ok Bug, you ready?" I got a small bit of the mixture on the spoon and put it up to her mouth. She opened up, taking it in, and instantly making a face the second she realized something was there.

"What is that stuff?" I asked as she made a face. From the looks of it, she wasn't impressed. "Normally Mommy is a much better cook." I felt April smack my shoulder as I used the spoon to scoop the cereal she'd let run out of her mouth and onto her chin back up and into her mouth again.

With each bite I fed her, it became more and more obvious she did not care for it. "Just a couple more bites," I told her. "Mommy could've flavored it for you, huh? Syrup, fruit, something!"

"Jackson…"

Just as I went to feed her one of the final bites, she started in with one of her recently discovered tricks of blowing bubbles with her mouth. Only with a mouthful of oatmeal, that is what came out rather than bubbles. Before I could dodge or duck or do some other type of maneuver, I felt specks of oatmeal hit my face.

April was laughing before I even said anything. "Thank you, Ayla." I said. May as well, nothing I could do about it now. Plus, I'm sure it's not the one and only time I'll be wearing my infant daughter's food.

April continued laughing as she wiped my face off, "She wanted to share with Daddy!"

We watched as she patted the tray with her hands, getting what oatmeal spilled on there and smearing it around. "She's having fun, at least. Think she likes painting the tray with it better than eating it."

"She'll get used to it." April removed the tray and handed it to me to clean while she wiped Ayla down with a baby wipe. "I'll have to send this video to all the Grandparents!" I swear, April spent the majority of her day sending our Moms crap she'd taken of Ayla.

I kissed her cheek as I put her back in her walker and she immediately started working those little legs and moving across the kitchen. "She loves that thing."

"Dinner should be done now, if you wanna grab a plate."

I'd love nothing more than to grab a plate. Every surgery I did today lasted longer than it was supposed to and then I got called down to the ER between cases. Needless to say, I'd eaten out of vending machines, break rooms, etc. all day. I'd just gotten a plate down out of the cabinet when the walker collided with my ankles. "Ayla…."

"She says move it or lose it, Daddy!" April joked. It wasn't her being run down here.

I looked down and saw the biggest, one toothed grin smiling up at me. "Yeah, you can run me over if you want to. Geez, why do you have to be so cute? Huh?" No way could I correct that face. She could do whatever the hell she wanted to. When you're that adorable you get a pass, right?

Today a walker, tomorrow an actual car.

Either way, I was doomed.


End file.
